To think that life is too expensive?

[Gffbjjgfddbjkkm]

Feel so frustrated.

I work full-time teaching in one of the most expensive schools in the world. DH works full time too. We each earn about £40k.

I'm having to take on a weekend job, just to be able to scrape by to afford to send DS to university next year. Who wants to work seven days a week?!

Would love a really decent holiday, but can't afford that.

I'm sick of working so hard work with nothing but financial stress. Neither of us is likely to inherit much, if anything.

It's OK to vent about the COL. But...it's yet another post where the OP has a household net income of 5K+ pm (£80K) with a relatively small mortgage (£80K), no childcare costs and the only visible major expense of credit card debt of £9K. Without scrutinising outgoings via incomings and giving some detail of the debt i.e interest rate, it's hard to advise generally because once again, on the face of it, you should be able to afford a relatively comfortable lifestyle compared to the majority of the populace.

I would suggest additional holiday tutoring (obviously depends on subjects you teach). The tutors attached to known school brands would get upwards of £50 ph.

On £80k with a pretty small mortgage you shouldn't be struggling that much. You're far from rich, but a holiday should be manageable. You need to budget properly and look at where you can economise.

An 80k mortgage is relatively small. Have you considered extending the term to reduce your payments.
I have 9k of credit card debt and move them around 0% deals to cards that have a 1% minimum payment. If you did that it should cost you less than £100pm in repayments. I appreciate it will take ages to pay off but you aren't accruing much more debt from interest.
Can you both take on more management duties at work rather than getting part time jobs?

In a private school.

Firstly, you don't need to pay for a child to go to University. They can take out a loan like most children do, or get a job (depending on the hours of their degree course), or work all summer.

Secondly, you actually have a decent income, so need to look at your spending more closely.

Earning £40k each gives you a take home pay of £5000 a month (assuming you pay into a teaching pension).

Your mortgage is only £80,000 so repayments are only £600 a month?

Food (family of 4?) about £125 a week, so about £550 a month?

Gas/Elec/Council tax/water about £350 a month?

Car - perhaps £300 a month?

So that's £1800 a month on essentials.

What are you spending the other £3200 a month on?!?!?!!?!?!?! There is NO WAY you should be broke each month? You could pay your entire credit card debt off in 3 months!

Parents are very much expected to contribute to funding their children through university as the tuition fees cover fees and the maintenance loan will not even cover accommodation costs in most cases. It is little publicised but parents are expected to fund their children through shortfall; or students themselves through work.

You definitely needs to share how you managed that one.

Can’t cope on 80k! Poor you. Try coping on minimum wage!

OP can you break down the costs. Depending on age you could extend your mortgage to give you more breathing space (move from 10 years to 20 years etc)

its hard to suggest anything without a monthly break down as on paper so far it seems doable to have a holiday

Op what is your actual household net income and your main outgoings?

Because on the face of it, you bring in over 5k per month and we assume you have no childcare costs. So presumably your biggest costs are your mortgage, household bills/food etc and your debt. For most households 5k would be adequate to cover your costs and save a bit for holidays. Maybe not a luxurious lifestyle, but not struggling.

If you post your actual figures, or at least close, people can help you. Perhaps you need to look at your debt repayments and if it’s possible to extend the term of your mortgage to lower your monthly payments?

Can your child get a job and work their way through university with a smaller amount of support from you and loans? Seven days a week at work without a break is unsustainable.

I am not unsympathetic but I fail to see why it is such a financial struggle with a relatively small mortgage.

A majority of people are struggling with the CoL because housing is simply too expensive, and it is a basic need that almost no one can do without. Governments could apply taxes to stabilise costs but they haven’t got the guts to tackle it.

Yeah, about £30k. We did also have a goodly age gap between the two, so uni subs were cheaper for us, than the private schools together. We were in the dreaded 60% tax trap though. So although, as I said, income was higher, take home was not! We are now retired, but still subbing uni!!

I always think we must somehow live very frugally.

I do sympathise. It's much harder now, but even so, as illustrated by others, peoples outgoings are all very different.

Yes, where you live makes a huge difference.

Two teachers working in Fife would be earning a bit more than 80k in total [in the state sector] and would be able to buy a decent enough 2 bed house for about 150k.

[Edit in squared brackets.]

It's not a surprise that parents potentially need to help their DC financially through university. I'm 53 and had a student loan (albeit a relatively small one) back in the 1990's!

DS earned approx £5K in the summer straight after his A Levels working in our local "Spoons" June - mid Sept. He also returned to work there for a few weeks at Christmas/New Year. The summer between Year 1 & Year 2, he earned a similar amount during a 3 mth paid internship so it's totally possible for young people to earn enough during the long summers to make up the difference if their parents can't support them financially. DS is currently at the end of his industrial placement year and this summer will be the first time he will have the entire summer off/not working/travelling.

It is hard, OP; and I know this isn't your only expense, but it's worth remembering that there is more than one way to go to Uni. People don't have to go to Uni straight out of school - they can work for a few years to save for fees (which is what I did), there are degree apprenticeships available or, depending on what your DS wants to study, there are employers that will pay for further education.

I work full-time teaching in one of the most expensive schools in the world.

I'm not sure why that is relevant. If it pisses you off working in a school with lots of wealthy parents, move schools so it's not in your face every day.

Sounds like you are both pretty new in your careers, so understandably your wages will go up in the future. Can you each take on 2/3 kids to tutor each week after school to bring in more money?

Thanks again everyone. I'll read through properly later (at a sport club with DS at the moment).

I do appreciate that we earn above average and I appreciate that a huge number of the population live in grinding poverty. I was unlucky enough to have been brought up on the breadline and I try not to think about it enough to be able to explain the awful, desperate sense of unfairness, resentment and downright embarrassment (coupled with shame for feeling that way about your own family's situation) that this can sometimes bring - particularly for children. I know that holidays are a luxury and that higher education, tragically, is a privilege enjoyed only by those who can afford it.

I sincerely apologise for any offence that my post has caused. I do realise that I'm relatively fortunate.

YANBU OP. It’s not so much a cost of living crisis as a cost of capitalism crisis. These days without a big inheritance it is almost impossible for most families to be free from money worries. Meritocracy gone. Hard work for many no longer pays as its like playing monopoly with the board already owned. Don’t blame you feeling fed up and like it’s unfair. It is.
No offence caused here. Income is relative. Can have two neighbours. One (A) on pension credit low income and (B) family earning what you are. A will have CTax paid, get various extra payments and may own home with no work or family costs. (B) may have rent, full bills and education and other costs to meet so could be worse off.
Income alone no longer an indicator of a comfortable life. Inheritance and head start/hand up are. People can work very hard indeed and be no better off.

I suppose being immersed in the lives of the super-rich and privileged jars with my own financial sleepless nights and stresses. I genuinely don't begrudge them a penny. They pay my wages and I'm grateful for the employment.

@Gffbjjgfddbjkkm I would like again to apologise for my first post towards you.
It was mean and bitchy and I shouldn't have said it and I asked Mumsnet to remove it (which they have).
Sorry again 🙂

I agree it’s not a particularly big income, depending on where you live.

Can your child not live on student loans and work alongside studying like thousands of kids do ? X

Not at all! Your views are as valid as anyone's! No need to apologise, but thank you for the thought.

You will get some helpful responses on this thread @Gffbjjgfddbjkkm but you will also get a lot of people giving you snarky replies because you earn more than them. I find the replies from people making financial judgements about how you have a tiny mortgage particularly ironic given they clearly don't understand mortgages.

How long is left on your mortgage? Could you look at extending the term and lowering the monthly payments? You could always overpay and get it down quicker when things ease up in a few years.

Someone else up the thread suggested using the Money Board instead. Also Money Saving Expert is brilliant for advice and ideas.

Use their budget tool https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/#spreadsheet this budget planner. Go through your bank statements for the past 12 months and be totally honest about your outgoings to get a true position.

You don't have to share it with anyone (although the Debt Free Wannabe board offers brilliant advice if you share your budget there ) but it will give you a much better idea of where you may be able to cut down.

Make sure you are on all the best deals for your utilities, mortgage, insurances etc and are using the best bank accounts / savings accounts.

Regular savers that you have to put a fixed amount each month into for 12 months are a good way of saving for holidays if you include the monthly amount in your budget as it gets put away without you having to think about it.

I think you’re entitled to feel like the system is unfair/ isn’t working when your family is earning £80k a year and you can’t afford a holiday! Times have changed!

Whilst me and my DH earn similar to you, our situation is very different. We don’t have children, we have a very small mortgage, we have no credit cards/ no debt and we drive older cars (bangers 😂) so no finance. We scraped by on near enough NMW for years whilst we trained and got our qualifications and we’ve stuck with the same cars/house/ expenditure.

Have you looked over what you spend on per month with a fine tooth comb? Are there areas you can spend less so you can put some money towards a holiday?

Also, I worked 22 hours a week throughout my uni days to make ends meet as my parents couldn’t afford to help financially. They really helped by batch cooking meals and donating some kitchen items though so there are ways to help without sending loads of cash!