Was it strange to ask on a Friday afternoon if she’s free on a Saturday ?

[blueshuh]

I reached out to one of my DS friends mums on a Friday evening, as my DS asked me to ask if he could see his friend the next day at a fun fair.

I texted the mum saying :

’ hey. Totally short notice, but Jonny asked if Jo wanted to come to the funfair that’s in town ? ‘

the mum replied the next day saying :

’ This weekend ? We can’t, busy with XYZ ‘..

they’re just 5, so any play dates involve parents.

I guess because I didn’t explicitly say ‘ tomorrow ‘ or ‘ this weekend ‘, she double checked that’s what I meant.

but surely I did mean that ?

how would you have taken my text ?

I know, it’s totally not a big deal. I’m not upset about it. I’m just a bit bored and wanted to see how others would read it.

I read it like ‘ omg you’re asking me on a Friday about a Saturday? ‘..

Well you didn’t give a day or date in your message, so I’d have checked too. I don’t think she was doing any more than that- you’re hugely overthinking.

I read it as clarifying which weekend and explaining they already had plans this weekend.

I would also have clarified when you meant? Could have been anytime surely?

I read it as her just double checking what you meant, I wouldn't give it another thought!

Nothing strange or unusual in that interaction. Seems fine

I would have asked for clarification, asking at such short notice would make me think I was a last choice because everyone else said no as well.

But how is asking for the next weekend ‘ last minute ‘ ?

She’s just clarifying you meant the weekend. Your making a issue out of nothing.

But you didn’t say in your message which day you were talking about. Nothing wrong with short notice but I would have clarified too.

Ow that’s such a shame because I hate to plan too far in advance and ask people to do stuff at short notice all the time. I asked another mum and she came along, no issues. If I asked you at short notice, it would never mean that everyone else said no.

on this occasion I asked the two mums at the same time, as that’s what my son has requested.

You might have meant after school one day? You are massively overthinking this. She didn’t say you were unreasonable, just made sure what you meant and said they were busy. This is an entirely normal interaction and I can’t see why you are trying to read something into it.

I did say it’s not really an issue and I’m just curious how other people would read it.

This whole post is strange.

No I would have assumed she was asking when the funfair was in town, you didnt say, shes asking is it this weekend and if so, no she cant because they're busy

She didn't say "this is last minute" according to your account though, unless I'm missing something? That's just how you read it because you're overthinking it

Your message just needed the word "tomorrow" then she wouldn't have needed to clarify. I think you're reading too much into her message and there was no implied criticism / complaint!

@FrodoBigginsi said ‘ short notice ‘.. to me, short notice wouldn’t be next weekend. Some are saying she may have assumed it’s next weekend, all I’m saying is that to me ‘ short notice ‘ would not be next weekend.

What on earth are you on about?

You didn’t say what day you meant - even I had to read your OP twice to try and figure out when the fair was. She asked if you meant this weekend as you never specified a date - she then told you they were busy. How would you have liked her to respond?

You could have been a bit more specific 'tomorrow' or 'Sunday' or whatever. I'd find your vagueness a bit annoying.

..and no, I wouldn't have taken her reply the way you did. I don't even understand how you're getting what you have from her reply?

Majorly overthinking this 🤦‍♀️

You didn’t say when so she had to check! It’s not a criticism for asking at short notice! The exchange is totally normal, there is no issue here.

I think because in my head, it’s clear I meant imminently, this weekend.

but it’s just not clear in my message. Hence her response !

If you're going to overanalyse message replies to that extent, be more detailed in the opener - like include the date?

You thought the message was clear - me, together with PPs and the person you texted, didn't.
If you meant this weekend, the woman is busy.
why make such a drama over a text?

Such a weird thread.

You were vague, she checked to ensure that she had understood and then confirmed that they already had plans. So you went with someone else who happened to be free.

What's the issue, exactly?

She never said it was last minute she was just clarifying If it was this weekend? 🤨 am I missing something?