Was it strange to ask on a Friday afternoon if she’s free on a Saturday ?

[blueshuh]

I reached out to one of my DS friends mums on a Friday evening, as my DS asked me to ask if he could see his friend the next day at a fun fair.

I texted the mum saying :

’ hey. Totally short notice, but Jonny asked if Jo wanted to come to the funfair that’s in town ? ‘

the mum replied the next day saying :

’ This weekend ? We can’t, busy with XYZ ‘..

they’re just 5, so any play dates involve parents.

I guess because I didn’t explicitly say ‘ tomorrow ‘ or ‘ this weekend ‘, she double checked that’s what I meant.

but surely I did mean that ?

how would you have taken my text ?

I know, it’s totally not a big deal. I’m not upset about it. I’m just a bit bored and wanted to see how others would read it.

I read it like ‘ omg you’re asking me on a Friday about a Saturday? ‘..

@blueshuh Hey are you ok, OP? Just wondering as you are massively overthinking an everyday, normal text exchange.

I would have double checked too if I was the other mum. Just to make sure as you were a bit vague although I get it that you said it was 'short notice'.

I mean this kindly, but do you often question what people say/do in everyday life?

Blimey. The conversation is completely normal on both sides. You questioning it afterwards is very strange.

I would have checked when you meant too. In case it was after school Mon, or if it fitted around her other plans. There might have been a window of time that could work.

Also if she said no without clarifying then some people might have felt it was rude as she said no without even knowing the time/day.

Completely normal response on her part. Odd of you to not clarify a rough time though on your part. Last minute could refer to any time that week or so really. She was just clarifying what you meant and saying she couldn’t this weekend because of xyz. You’re making an issue out of nothing.

People's definitions of short notice can vary so it's natural to ask a follow up question when you didn't say a day or a time in the invitation. It's best to be clear about when you're inviting people somewhere.

There's some serious over-thinking going on here. OP are you usually like this? It sounds like more of an issue on your part. Completely normal response.

You say you’re a ‘bit bored’ and that’s why you have started this. The rest of us are probably not bored, in which case you are wasting our time! Try a crossword!
Honestly, this thread gets weirder and weirder!!

You said it’s not a problem etc you just wanted to know what people on here think…. You must be very very bored! Pop Netflix on and relax, nothing about either persons exchange was weird….

Other mum sounds like me. I’m absolutely useless at reading between the lines so would always have to ask for clarification. Often I have to ask DH to translate vague texts for me because I’m just clueless. I need people to literally spell things out to me.

You're wasting your own time, the OP isn't wasting it for you.

What the actual is this thread in aid of?

I can't even ... 😵‍💫

Perfectly reasonable for her to clarify - you didn’t say when you meant, so could be any time.

It’s fine to ask at short notice but equally fine to clarify what you mean, or for people not to be free.

Huh??? Your text is fine. Her text is fine. Got no idea what you’re on about really.

I think it’s easy to get crossed wires with things, even when in your mind, something is so clear.

your message was pretty clear. Her response was, too, but you just have different styles.

hope you had a good time with your other friend.

If you sent me that message I’d assume you meant that same day. Could also mean tomorrow or Sunday.

Your thread title is incorrect as you didn’t actually ask if the friend was busy ‘on Saturday’.

If this is a genuine post.

1. Forget about it. Accept that your message could have had more specific information (day/date/time/etc) that you knew but didn't pass on.
2. Learn from it. Try and read it from the recipients POV without any prior knowledge.

I agree.
If you'd said "tomorrow" in your message then that would have been absolutely clear. Without that qualifier then 'short notice' could realistically be any time in the next few days or within the week.

You didn’t say tomorrow. So how was she to know when you meant?

I would have clarified this also, as you didnt say which weekend in your text, just mentioned the funfair. I would have double checked that it was definitely this coming weekend you were talking about.

I would assume you meant the next day but I would still ask to clarify.

Short notice is not possible in our house, we work and DD was in childcare/had clubs so weekends were always planned. It was rare that we had a lazy one.

Did she even know that the funfair was in town?

short notice could mean in 10 minutes time! Or tomorrow morning, 7am. Or tomorrow after lunch. Or Monday night.

Or any time at all really…...

Your question was so vague - literally no information on day/time etc - she had no choice but to clarify!

I don't get it. You texted her yesterday asking "hey it's totally short notice but does jonnny want to come to the funfair"?

She replied ’ This weekend ? We can’t, busy with XYZ ‘..

What is the problem exactly? She assumed you meant this weekend, which you did and told you they are too busy.

What am I missing?

Good Lord this is hard work! I’m sorry but the word tomorrow exists for a reason! Just say tomorrow in future!

I’m ND and hate it when others expect me to mind read. It really pisses me off, probably irrationally so.

I’d have definitely replied asking for clarification.

Funnily enough, I was chatting to my teen DS earlier about arranging meet-ups via text and told him he needed to be very clear about stating where and when (date/time) when texting his pals rather than a vague “do you fancy going for coffee?”. He’s finished school for the summer so has about 12 weeks to fill. 😳

I told him that nothing gets sorted if the message is left too vague. 😆