Was it strange to ask on a Friday afternoon if she’s free on a Saturday ?

[blueshuh]

I reached out to one of my DS friends mums on a Friday evening, as my DS asked me to ask if he could see his friend the next day at a fun fair.

I texted the mum saying :

’ hey. Totally short notice, but Jonny asked if Jo wanted to come to the funfair that’s in town ? ‘

the mum replied the next day saying :

’ This weekend ? We can’t, busy with XYZ ‘..

they’re just 5, so any play dates involve parents.

I guess because I didn’t explicitly say ‘ tomorrow ‘ or ‘ this weekend ‘, she double checked that’s what I meant.

but surely I did mean that ?

how would you have taken my text ?

I know, it’s totally not a big deal. I’m not upset about it. I’m just a bit bored and wanted to see how others would read it.

I read it like ‘ omg you’re asking me on a Friday about a Saturday? ‘..

Your take on this post is weird too.

OP, do you have form for over analysing stuff?

That’s fine guys, I understand how the message sounds. The one I sent. I didn’t mean it to sound that vague at all, I just missed out the word tomorrow somehow. But her response makes sense to me now. I just wasn’t clear enough.

I think I do ! But like I said in my opener, this isn’t a big deal. I was just curious how others would view that exchange and I totally get it that to me, it looked clear but that’s not how others take the word ‘ short notice ‘ and I should have been clearer in my text. I was in a rush and just sent it without thinking. Also the fair is only in town for that weekend. But it’s honestly no big deal. I’m just curious how the human mind works sometimes and how you can really f up when communicating. Like I did here !

I’d read that as double checking you meant tomorrow. Not arsey in anyway.

I think since the pandemic people don’t do things on the spur of the moment and it’s more normal to arrange things weeks in advance! She was double checking.

Have read your replies OP and I still don’t get what you’re on about. Why would you be upset about her asking if it’s this weekend?

if she’d said “THIS weekend??? Er no!” Then I could understand your reaction but she is literally just confirming that you meant this weekend. What on earth is wrong with that??

It was just my gut reaction, because in my head it was quite clear that I meant the next day. But it’s fine, I get it. It wasn’t clear. How many times will I need to say that I get it ?

I think be clear what day Sat or Sunday in the text. I have to book my friends weeks in advance as their diaries always full!

Is there a reason you didn't say when though? It's weird to assume someone knows when you're talking about.

Ah sorry I see now - YOU said it was "totally short notice" so by that you assumed she'd know you didn't mean next wk.

I still think she was simply checking though. I see that you get it now.

Totally this!

Who has said it's last minute?

But I don't think you did fuck up communicating. You meant this weekend. She assumed that you meant this weekend but just double checked that she had understood properly before declining because she was busy. There wasn't really anything wrong on either side of the interaction? You're definitely overthinking it!

She was clarifying when you meant. How is she meant to second guess?

Yeah in my head - ‘ totally short notice ‘ was enough to mean the next day- but it wasn’t for her. Which is fine.

it says a lot about how communicate probably. I think I can improve there. To me it was clear and so I initially took her ‘ this weekend ? ‘, a bit funny. Like she couldn’t believe I would ask her if she could hang out on a Saturday- on a Friday night. But that’s not how she actually meant it at all.

I read it like ‘ omg you’re asking me on a Friday about a Saturday? ‘..

Why would you read it like that? It doesn't read like that to me.

You should have just said " tomorrow". It's understandable if it's one of those events that's on for one day and you knew for certain that she knew when it was.

Because to me it was as if I had actually said ‘ are you free tomorrow ? ‘

if she’s then replied ‘ do you mean this weekend ?’..
that would definitely have been a bit weird.

You'll probably need to say it at least another 16 times @blueshuh 😂😂 some people on here just don't read all OP posts or don't care and still want to create their own narrative

There's nothing wrong with either message. She was letting you know that they were busy. If they weren't busy she might have said "Tomorrow? Oh yes, that's fine. He'll love that." She's just clarifying.

Haha I’m just checking the text I sent to the other mum and I said the same thing !! she asked me ‘ when are you going ? ‘ I reply ‘ it opens at 12 ‘ and she says ‘ tomorrow ? ‘.. to which I say ‘ yes ‘..

so she also definitely wasn’t sure what I meant either. I need to brush up on my communication I think.

You’re overthinking this so much. You must be exhausted if you read this much into every interaction. I guarantee you that this friend was doing nothing more than thinking aloud - we all ask questions all the time that we know the answer to, it’s just a buying-thought-time thing like saying ‘Er…’ or ‘Well…’. In her head she was thinking ‘Hmm, this weekend? Are we busy? Oh, we are, that’s a shame’ and that was how she replied to the message. Honestly, let it go.

Ooh, now we can have a discussion about when "next weekend" means "this coming weekend" versus "the weekend after the one that's coming". I think it's starting from about Tuesday, but I'm open to offers.

My Mum is always asking me to do stuff with short notice and it does my head in. I tell her all the time we need a few weeks, so next weekend would be short notice! Some people get booked and busy really far in advance. I just checked our diary and the next free weekend we have isn’t until June 28th now.