To want to send an angry email to our house buyer after he pulled out days before exchange

[Parkingbird]

We sold our house in late Feb and we were so close to getting a date to exchange - we were looking at early June. Buyer wanted an earlier date in late May, but we were out of town so it wasn't possible. Then we received news that he pulled out yesterday. I'm devastated as it took us a long while to sell and also we may now lose our dream house - no word if our seller is willing to wait for us.

We have never communicated with our buyer but a quick Google search turns his company profile up and I'm this close to sending him an angry email asking why he chose to pull out and how he has wasted our time and money, and all the effort involved to change my toddler's preschool and activities etc, not to mention the risk of losing our new home!!! I know this changes nothing but I want him to know what his actions have done to us.

This system is so broken. Why can't a deposit be made so that nobody can back out as and when they like???

Presumably the estate agent will know why the buyer pulled out, you could ask them?
No point getting angry, people's circumstances change, the buyer will have had their reasons.
IME, the longer the lead up to exchange, the more likely it is to go wrong.
Why did being out of town mean you couldn't exchange? The solicitor normally does the exchange, you don't have to be present. Do you mean that you couldn't agree a completion date?

Yabu it’s really frustrating but it’s also a great deal of money and needs very careful planning and certainty.

You sd have exchanged - being out of town doesn't matter as solicitor does this.

Hmmm, it might have happened if you could exchange earlier.

Yes, neither DH nor I were even in the country when we exchanged on our last house, come to think of it!

We couldn't exchange while we were away as the buyer wanted to move in immediately and we don't have the time to move our things out.

His spouse or child could have died or become very unwell , they could have suffered a financial loss , they could be divorcing or facing redundancy . Their mortgage offer could have been pulled who knows but better to just accept it and move on it won’t have been an easy decision for them either and cost them money too.

You didn't "sell", you accepted an offer and declined to exchange contracts. This is on you.

Do you mean complete? You can't move in on exchange of contracts unless that's happening the same day as completion, which is when the full amount of money is paid/released from banks, etc.

You didn't sell in feb
You had a possible buyer.
You will not change anything by emailing.
Put it back on market

It sounds like everything was on your terms “we were out of town”, ”don’t have the time” etc. It’s fine but it doesn’t sound like someone who took ages to sell and was desperate to conclude the transaction. Fair enough, you weren’t to know these things would be deal breakers but the time taken has given him maybe too much time to reconsider. Sorry you’re disappointed but don’t think you should send angry emails.

Why did you change preschool etc before completion?

You could have stipulated from the outset that no way would you exchange and complete on the same day as you have a family to move and need to finalise removals.

The prospective buyer has no obligation to consider your preschool arrangements or the house you might buy. They have to look after their own interests. For these reasons they won't care what you say in an email after stalking them online. You will sound like a nut job.

I think you’re being unfair and yes she is right tbsh the system is broken. In many countries you make an offer and when it accepted you’re locked in baring some agreed conditions eg mortgage falls through or it fails inspection or stuff like that but the Uk system buyers or sellers can pull out until last minute or be gazumped.

The buyer pulling out simply because they collect exchange when he wanted makes no sense because it will take longer to find another house and go through the process again.

The way I understand OPs post it looks like they sprung a completion date which gave them no notice as they were out of town and wouldn’t be able to move their stuff out in time so I don’t get why you’re making it sound like she didn’t want to sell.

I’ve bought houses in other countries and you’re locked in once the offer is accepted and contract signed and you have a target date written into the contract so you’re not having to guess when they may want to complete.

Too long had passed.. Feb sale agreed and we're moving into June now.. thsta too long for many people. Two months is more like the norm/hope. We've done 8-9 weeks each time we bought. Had they been asking for date of completion a few times along the way? Sounds like they felt unsure if you were going to actually sell at all.

The whole system is fucked. 'Offers over'. Aye. Pay the surveyor, pay the solicitor, put the offer in, start all over again.

Sorry, just to clarify, we had no say in the longer than usual process - it was all down to our solicitors and we were hurrying them. In fact, the buyer's solicitors added a few weeks to the wait with some additional queries.

We have relisted and have a viewing lined up so fingers crossed!

@SpryUmberZebra and in those countries if you accepted the offer in February would you still be saying in May that you were too busy and heading out of town? Or once parties are locked in with an accepted offer do you then progress quickly to completion? I am not responsible for the unfairness or otherwise of the English system. Knowing the system for what it is it does seem that the seller here should have made more effort to exchange in a timely fashion given the fact their new purchase was critical and was riding on it.

X posted with update from OP -
sounds like solicitors weren’t great here and possibly cost the sale. Why did queries take weeks?
hope the viewing goes well and I hope the solicitors do a better job if you will continue to use them.

Longer than usual? The timescale is completely normal.

I get that you are upset, but if there's no way the buyer will reconsider you're just going to have to move on from this and find another buyer.

I really think our system is broken. My mum had the opposite-seller agreed a price, woman promised and went on and on about how honest she was and that she'd never gazump-and then someone else offered more. Bank wouldn't allow my mum more as they said the house just wasn't worth it. It's all very well saying a house isn't sold until it's all completed-but the system makes it very difficult. You don't get months of house moving leave-you have to work, be pregnant, whatever else you're doing while organising moving, furniture, schools etc. I don't know why they can't make it law that a seller organises a survey, just like cars have MOT certs, and that cert/any other legal things/searches etc need to be available and read before prospective buyers can view. Then if they like your house, they can bid-if you accept, there's a recorded meeting where buyer and sellers agree on moving dates/what you're leaving etc. Apparently other countries manage to make it less complicated. Doesn't help, and I'm so sorry this has happened to you, but an article said people find house buying the number one most stressful thing. Sadly, it's likely to get even worse for the next generation.

Understand your frustration, been there myself. However, you can’t be angry at them for pulling out as buying a house is an enormous undertaking and it’s their prerogative to change their mind.

No @Parkingbird you are not being in the slightest bit unreasonable to want to send an angry email, but it won't make the slightest difference to him, although it might make you feel better 😊
Good luck with the viewing and hope you sell soon.

I don't think "being out of town" is a good enough reason not to exchange then move to settlement if the buyer was ready in May. It's all done via electronic documents now. So you were unreasonable as well ...