To want to send an angry email to our house buyer after he pulled out days before exchange

[Parkingbird]

We sold our house in late Feb and we were so close to getting a date to exchange - we were looking at early June. Buyer wanted an earlier date in late May, but we were out of town so it wasn't possible. Then we received news that he pulled out yesterday. I'm devastated as it took us a long while to sell and also we may now lose our dream house - no word if our seller is willing to wait for us.

We have never communicated with our buyer but a quick Google search turns his company profile up and I'm this close to sending him an angry email asking why he chose to pull out and how he has wasted our time and money, and all the effort involved to change my toddler's preschool and activities etc, not to mention the risk of losing our new home!!! I know this changes nothing but I want him to know what his actions have done to us.

This system is so broken. Why can't a deposit be made so that nobody can back out as and when they like???

Absolutely gutting and I feel really sorry for you.

But DO NOT email! Partly because you don't know their situation, they may be really struggling but also because you never know who knows who... imagine if you emailed some angry email and the story got back to someone who was a potential buyer for your house?

So you couldn't do the date he wanted, did you offer an alternative? Sounds like you're not ready to move out and he's keen to get in and got frustrated with you.

Well, this is more encouraging news. I voted YABU because
A/ you don’t know the buyer’s individual circumstances and
B/ an angry email would solve nothing.

However, I agree with you that the system itself is designed to stress and frustrate both sellers and buyers and it would be lovely if it were more simple and straightforward.

Keeping fingers crossed for you that you’ll get another buyer soon, and the process is much smoother for both sides x

tbsh the system is broken. In many countries you make an offer and when it accepted you’re locked in baring some agreed conditions eg mortgage falls through or it fails inspection or stuff like that but the Uk system buyers or sellers can pull out until last minute or be gazumped

@SpryUmberZebra You're describing the English system, I think. Scottish system is better

I'm sorry this has happened, something similar happened to my daughter
It's horrible but don't contact him it won't change anything.
A deposit is made on exchange of contracts usually 10% of the purchase price but until then anyone can pull out.
I hope your seller agrees to wait for you.
Good luck

This!

You can exchange contracts and wait to complete. This would have prevented the buyer backing out.

You can exchange and then agree a completion date a few weeks later.
We did that each time we bought a house.
Although now it seems to have become more common for people to exchange and complete on the same day which I think is very risky and maybe why this issue sees to crop up more

No necessarily true. Where I am it's up to the buyer to do any due diligence, or put conditions on the contract of sale.

Yes.. you must have known it was a risk.

Sorry it happened OP

Don’t contact them, you don’t know what’s happened. They might have just seen something that suited them better and thought sod it (fair enough, everyone has to do what’s best for themselves in life); or something terrible might have happened.

When I was with my ex husband 25 years ago, we had to pull out of a house sale just before exchange as he was diagnosed with lymphoma. He was the main earner, if he couldn’t work or something happened to him, I couldn’t have afforded th mortgage so we didn’t want that stress. The sellers did contact us and they made a horrendous time even worse.

You can’t force someone to buy your house, it’s not like you’ll contact them and they will go, “oh yes! Okay then, we’ll go ahead and buy it after all.”

Buyers don’t move in after exchange (if you’re in England, Wales or NI, missives in Scotland). Do you mean completion?

People elsewhere don't seem to realise that in England exchange of contracts, is equivalent to the signing of contracts elsewhere. Nobody is committed until that point, and that is when you pay a deposit which you would forfeit.

The committment happens here when contracts are exchanged. And it makes sense for people to be able to back out up until then.
I think the problem is people exchange and complete on the same day. It used to be common to leave about a month between exchange and completion which made sense as it gives time for final arrangements, removal bokking etc.

Selling a house is hugely stressful, I still remember it years on, so you have my sympathies.

It's also a huge financial commitment and people are entitled to pull out. From their perspective, their dream house or housing needs are of paramount importance, just as they are to you.

Why didn't you just exchange on the date requested. Out of town would have infuriated me too. But I don't think I would have pulled out. Have their been other delays caused by you.

People who pull out last minute are just the worst. Also setting deadlines when they are not in your control is ridiculous. Surely he will not get another property quickly as he has to start from scratch again unless he had a second option all along. Solicitors seem incredibly slow these days. My daughter was buying a brand new house(already built) and was selling to a FTB with approved mortgage. Just 2 in chain plus house developers and it still took 5 months from offer accepted to completion. All down to slow solicitors.

Of course it’s unreasonable. You can’t send an angry email when you have no idea of this person’s personal circumstances.

YABU. It didn’t work out. It’s not personal.

I don’t think it is worth sending an email. People like this don’t care. Surely the time to think about what a huge commitment it is is before making the offer not string people along for months then pull out. I hope you get another buyer soon and your seller holds on for you.

Exchange doesn’t mean possession. You could easily have exchanged when your buyer wanted. You chose not to.

They would have lost a couple of £1000 by pulling out so not a decision they took lightly.

Just chat to the EA if you want more info. Don't email them.

Circumstances change. Buyers don’t do this just to spite you.

I had to pull out of a purchase very late once. My partner announced he had been having a year long affair, the OW was pregnant and was moving in with her.

I was single with young kids and loosing my dream home.

I felt awful for the sellers and an email like yours would have pushed me over the edge I think.

There isn’t much different about the Scottish system. The seller as for a survey that is available to all interested parties but until contracts are exchanged either side can pull out. That’s why we have ‘sstc’ sold subject to contracts and ‘sstem’ sold subject to exchange of missives,

I am sorry OP but you brought this on yourself by not agreeing to the exchange date.

The buyer probably had enough of waiting and went for an easier purchase.

Being 'out of town' is not a good enough reason.

He didn't send you an angry email when you chose to refuse to agree to his exchange date

He simply found somewhere else to buy, which aligned with his time frame

If you want to sell, keep your buyer happy