To want to send an angry email to our house buyer after he pulled out days before exchange

[Parkingbird]

We sold our house in late Feb and we were so close to getting a date to exchange - we were looking at early June. Buyer wanted an earlier date in late May, but we were out of town so it wasn't possible. Then we received news that he pulled out yesterday. I'm devastated as it took us a long while to sell and also we may now lose our dream house - no word if our seller is willing to wait for us.

We have never communicated with our buyer but a quick Google search turns his company profile up and I'm this close to sending him an angry email asking why he chose to pull out and how he has wasted our time and money, and all the effort involved to change my toddler's preschool and activities etc, not to mention the risk of losing our new home!!! I know this changes nothing but I want him to know what his actions have done to us.

This system is so broken. Why can't a deposit be made so that nobody can back out as and when they like???

Our estate agent did take a £2,000 deposit from the buyer when we accepted their offer. So some companies do take a deposit to ensure they are serious.

Sounds like he really needed to move in end of May. You couldn’t do that so missed the slot.

I’m in Canada and honestly I find your real estate so confusing. Seems anyone can just pull out at any time with no consequences.

It must be maddening. I don’t blame you for being upset!

We pulled out of a purchase after a long wait. I don't know if it was the buyer dragging their feet or their inept estate agent but she was moving to a rental and I was a cash buyer so it should have been straigtforward.

It dragged on so long that it started causing issues with regards to the rental property I was in before. And in all the time I waited, the market had moved on, an almost identical house, but better in lots of ways, was for sale a few streets over. The seller of that property had also been messed around and - in contrast to the original seller - gave the impression of being very motivated to get the job done. I lost a four figure sum on the searches that had been done but it would have been far more had I been forced to sign a further six month rental contract that I didn't want or need. 100% the right decision for us.

I gathered from the conversation we had that the selling agent was not best pleased. The house stayed on the market for a very long time afterwards, so I presume the owner wasn't too fussed about moving after all. People need to realise that - whoever is the blame for the delays - that some folks can't, or won't wait indefinitely and that it's always possible that a better offer comes along.

Okay, so you made your choice and he made his. Would you have chosen differently if you'd have known he was going to pull out otherwise?

Also exchange doesn't mean he can move in immediately. You could have exchanged when he wanted, and held firm on completion date.

You'd be very very unreasonable to email him. Sure, it's rubbish, and the system is rubbish, but it IS the system. He has every right to pull out if he wants, until it's all signed and sealed.

It sounds like he got to the point where he decided, "Right, we need to settle this. I'll suggest a date and if it doesn't happen, I'm moving on." It didn't happen, he moved on. You could have organised professional movers to go in and pack and store everything in your absence.

It seems like a long time to me. We offered on our current house late December and moved in first week of Feb. Months wouldn't have been an option for us.

You're not unreasonable to want to send an email but don't do it. You don't know what might have happened for him to make this move and he'll probably just think he dodged a bullet with a crazy seller.

They wanted to exchange and complete on the same day?

The house buying process in England is so so frustrating.
Have you heard of gazeal.co.uk?
A friend is now using them after a buyer pulled out of her house purchase. They offer protection against this. Both seller and buyer sign a commitment agreement and pay an amount to effectively insure themselves against this.

In my experience, someone who pulls out just before exchange has something going on that means they were never going to go through with the purchase - you just didn't know it. It may be that the money wasn't really there (estate agents don't check as thoroughly as they claim to) or maybe they weren't 100% about your place and have been continuing to view alternatives throughout, or whatever. You'll never discover the whole story, or it will have more holes in it than a swiss cheese, and emailing to give him a piece of your mind won't change that. I wouldn't beat yourself up about not exchanging in May though. I'd put money on the fact that even if you'd agreed there'd have been some reason it didn't happen.

I personally don't think the English system is broken but it's swings and roundabouts compared with other countries. I've just bought in Scotland and while it went smoothly I don't really get the adulation for the Scottish system that routinely gets expressed here. But what I do think is that, given the weaknesses of the English system, solicitors need to be more efficient, and estate agents need to be signed up to a code of conduct that would eliminate their almost universal dishonesty.

Yes the system / process is crazy. Agree with you there.
How annoying.
I don’t think emailing will do any good, but equally no harm. Unless they tell the estate agent who might not want to work with you again. But you probably don’t want to use them again anyway so what the hell … if it’ll make you feel better then go for it.

Good luck selling. I always tell myself when selling houses not to count my chickens till they’re roosted.

This. It’s very unfortunate but we went through the same (Christmas 2023 just as all businesses closed!).

I wanted to throttle the buyer but there’s nothing you can do. We eventually completed in August 2024.

I agree OP. I'm not in the UK and our system is so much easier. A deposit is paid and once the sale becomes unconditional then that deposit is forfeited if you pull out. The UK system seems so cumbersome - and it takes so long for the transaction to be completed. Once a house is sold here people are moving in within weeks.

I can't speak for all countries, but if you accepted an offer in February here you would be well settled into the house before May.

Don't bother emailing.
Revenge never makes people feel better. Move on.

Lets assume that is the case, socks hanging find another property, place a bid and go through the process in time for the may? That’s a weak excuse to walk away from a house purchase but then it’s not his fault, the system is a mess so he hasn’t done anything illegal

For months after everyone else was ready to exchange, the seller at the top of our chain kept us waiting with his probate issues. Finally, he pulled out because he'd decided to sell the property to one of his children instead! He had the nerve to say to the estate agent, "you don't sound very happy with our decision!"

The chain collapsed. I still bought the same property (18 months after my offer was accepted), but my sellers and their sellers had to find alternatives. My sellers and I lost our decent mortgage deals and had to accept ones with much higher interest rates. I dread to think how much that man has cost us in total. I don't know his name or address, but if I did, I would happily send him a parcel of dead fish.

I wouldn’t bother sending an email. He obviously doesn’t care. But it’s reasonable to be very upset. He should have paid a deposit, non-refundable

I wouldn’t bother sending an email. He obviously doesn’t care. But it’s reasonable to be very upset. He should have paid a deposit, non-refundable

I wouldn’t bother sending an email. He obviously doesn’t care. But it’s reasonable to be very upset. He should have paid a deposit, non-refundable

Sending an email might make you feel better but it won’t make a blind bit of difference and the buyer will just think you are a fool . It’s unfortunate but these things happen and why you would change pre schools etc before you’ve exchanged is utter madness . Hopefully you will find a new buyer promptly .

The system is broken. To be honest I think angry emails to the solicitors across the country who drag things out for months as a standard practice would be more on point. We could have a deposit system, and it would help but the length of time things take is a significant factor in the breakdown of an offer and makes everything more difficult to plan around. It's rarely necessary. It's generally because bits of paper sit on desk (or electronic files on computers) untouched for days or weeks at a time, with buyers and sellers overwhelmed by and unsure about the details they are supposed to supply and solicitors putting things off while they deal with other clients.

It's become standard and there isn't sufficient pressure to sort it out. Solicitors in particular don't feel any pain from offers falling through even though they are often a cause.

Well, if you send an "angry" email, you're unlikely to get an answer as to why.

How about if you sent a "disappointed" email, explaining sadly all the fallout and asking why? You might learn something useful.

There are, in fact, systems with non-refundable deposits.

I'm not in the UK and one day a young woman came into our office to get some paperwork copied as she was selling a flat she owned in the UK (she had moved back here). Honestly, it was like a whole book's worth, nothing like the few sheets of paper involved here.

Also a friend recently bought and sold in the UK and seemed to spend a lot of time sorting out various information about the property to take to the solicitors - things which the estate agents or solicitors do here.

It's so complicated, I don't know how you all cope!

It would be very intrusive to send an email to the buyer, using information you had to google to find out about him. Not appropriate. There could be absolutely any reason why he's pulled out.

This makes no sense. You could have exchanged and then completed on another day