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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

"You're more fertile now than you've ever been in your entire life" surely this is bullshit?

98 replies

Dandelionchaser · 27/05/2025 12:03

When I was on the postnatal ward a few months ago, I was there long enough to hear a lot of discharges done by the same midwife. She told every new mum very seriously and emphatically "you are more fertile now than you have been in your entire life" to lead in to a conversation about contraception. She seemed to the chief midwife who was telling the others what to do so I would expect her to know what she's talking about but SURELY this is wrong? As far as I'm aware, if you're EBF and your period hasn't returned then you can only get pregnant if you catch that first ovulation and that's really unlikely in the early weeks, you're probably LESS fertile than you've ever been. Even if you don't breastfeed though I don't think you're MORE fertile straight after birth than at other times, are you? Is there evidence for this? I understand emphasising the importance of contraception, and making sure that women are aware at discharge that they CAN get pregnant now. It's really important to get that across because another pregnancy in quick succession is of course possible. But AIBU to think that giving misinformation in order to emphasise the point just treats us like teenagers? I had a different midwife at my own discharge who didn't say this so I never got to challenge it!

OP posts:
InterruptingRabbit · 27/05/2025 15:38

MindlessDaydream · 27/05/2025 12:31

You'd be surprised... The number of pregnancy confirmations I used to do with mothers who had little babies in tow would refute your claim.

But isn’t that just because women think they aren’t fertile and therefore aren’t using contraception? Rather than because they are extra fertile.

VoltaireMittyDream · 27/05/2025 15:53

Dandelionchaser · 27/05/2025 15:01

Yeah tbh I find the contraception conversation baffling anyway, I don't understand how anyone is having sex within weeks or even months of giving birth frankly but I say that to the doctor and they make me take home the pill anyway.

I reckon the women who have the energy to get frisky shortly after giving birth are made of pretty stern stuff, which means they probably have the sort of go-getter genes that end up naturally selected. That’s my theory anyway.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 27/05/2025 16:18

Acc0untant · 27/05/2025 12:32

You can get pregnant while exclusively breastfeeding even before your periods have returned.

I did! Oops...

Ilovecakey · 27/05/2025 16:36

Acc0untant · 27/05/2025 12:32

You can get pregnant while exclusively breastfeeding even before your periods have returned.

You can but it's unlikely if regularly breastfeeding with short gaps between

Plantlady10 · 27/05/2025 16:43

It annoys me too OP. It's not true for me - I have a 2.5 year age gap between mine and we stopped contraception after my baby was a couple of months old (it also took 2 years to conceive my first). My youngest is 1 and again, we stopped contraception early and I'm not pregnant yet.

I think it's mostly frustrating because it makes it sound like conceiving after a baby will be so easy, which for many people it isn't

Of course it's possible to get pregnant soon after birth, but I agree you cant be at your 'most fertile'. It's not a sliding scale, either you ovulate or you don't? And as a previous poster said, it's been proven that breastfeeding a baby does delay ovulation/fertility (again, of course not in all cases!)

YOLOPPL · 27/05/2025 16:47

AnonWho23 · 27/05/2025 12:32

I don't know, my MW told me the same thing. I laughed and told her it took 7 yeas of fertility treatment and intervention to have my first so I don't think I need to worry. I was pregnant by accident after only having sex a handful of times less than 9 months later.

I have heard this a lottt

mondaytosunday · 27/05/2025 16:52

There is a slight dip in fertility after giving birth, but she must have been trying to convince the mothers not to be lax. The woman next to me on the ward was 20 and her babies were eleven months apart. She was asked multiple times about what birth control she would be using.

CurbsideProphet · 27/05/2025 17:05

I had no such conversation with a midwife before discharge... They wheeled in an iPad on a stand and instructed us to watch the video about babies crying and how to cope. Told me I would figure out breastfeeding for myself. Then off we went.

At the baby 6 week check the male GP said "IVF pregnancy, I'm sure you're not concerned about contraception".
I mean tbf, he wasn't wrong!

I'm amazed that all these couples have the time and inclination for sex with a small baby in the moses basket. I was breastfeeding constantly 8pm-4am for the first month...

Hankunamatata · 27/05/2025 17:09

Friends ivf consultant told her to pretty much try as soon as baby was born as much higher chance of pregnancy

Dandelionchaser · 27/05/2025 17:56

Hankunamatata · 27/05/2025 17:09

Friends ivf consultant told her to pretty much try as soon as baby was born as much higher chance of pregnancy

That's dodgy advice...NHS recommends a gap of at least 12-18 months between pregnancies!

OP posts:
Zanina · 27/05/2025 18:04

It's true. The womb has perfect baby making conditions after a birth. This lasts for months

greatyak · 27/05/2025 19:01

Acc0untant · 27/05/2025 12:32

You can get pregnant while exclusively breastfeeding even before your periods have returned.

Yes but that doesn’t mean you are MORE FERTILE straight after birth

MaryGreenhill · 27/05/2025 19:10

AnonWho23 · 27/05/2025 12:32

I don't know, my MW told me the same thing. I laughed and told her it took 7 yeas of fertility treatment and intervention to have my first so I don't think I need to worry. I was pregnant by accident after only having sex a handful of times less than 9 months later.

This was my story l said exactly the same to my midwife and l was pregnant when my Dd1 was 6 months old and l EBF 😁
We were overjoyed and thrilled to bits after 2 miscarriages and 13 years of infertility.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 27/05/2025 19:13

I think they just say this to scare women into making sure they're on contraception straight after birth. I wasn't fertile at all for 10 months with my first and 18 months with my second. Had to cut breastfeeding down to twice a day before my body would ovulate again.

In my bumpers group someone got pregnant at about 6 weeks postpartum and had two babies in the same calendar year.

user7843209785 · 27/05/2025 19:18

My dc are just over a year apart…first one took over 2yrs to conceive.

AnonWho23 · 27/05/2025 19:43

MaryGreenhill · 27/05/2025 19:10

This was my story l said exactly the same to my midwife and l was pregnant when my Dd1 was 6 months old and l EBF 😁
We were overjoyed and thrilled to bits after 2 miscarriages and 13 years of infertility.

With all the fertility treatment, miscarriages aand trauma I was an anxious mess the whole of my pregnancy with DC1 and probably the her first years. With DC2 I just knew she would be born.

notmycupofdarjeeling · 27/05/2025 19:46

All the evidence says no, not true. It would vary from woman to woman based on numerous different factors as well.
From an evolutionary standpoint it wouldn’t even make sense for bodies to work this way.
Unplanned pregnancies shortly after giving birth will be largely down to people being complacent believing that they won’t get pregnant.
I have known doctors and nurses to talk absolute bollocks occasionally. They are definitely not immune to it.

Brainwontstop · 27/05/2025 20:20

Well I was pregnant 4 months after giving birth, after having sex once that month. I would say it was true for me!

Heronwatcher · 27/05/2025 20:26

I think she’s probably assuming that they won’t be fully breastfeeding.

Didimum · 27/05/2025 20:33

Acc0untant · 27/05/2025 12:32

You can get pregnant while exclusively breastfeeding even before your periods have returned.

This. And it’s wise to be extra vigilant because it’s recommended to have at least 12 months between pregnancies.

ItWorriesMeThisKindofThing · 27/05/2025 20:38

All the women with secondary infertility are giving hollow laughs at the anecdotes on this thread

onwardsup4 · 27/05/2025 20:50

MindlessDaydream · 27/05/2025 12:31

You'd be surprised... The number of pregnancy confirmations I used to do with mothers who had little babies in tow would refute your claim.

Isn’t this because people get caught out before sorting contraception again after having a baby though?

WorkCleanRepeat · 27/05/2025 20:52

I internally rolled my eyes when the midwife said this to me. It took 12 years to conceive our first. I was back on the maternity ward a year later!

(Completely anecdotal I appreciate)

Zo33 · 27/05/2025 21:03

AnonWho23 · 27/05/2025 12:32

I don't know, my MW told me the same thing. I laughed and told her it took 7 yeas of fertility treatment and intervention to have my first so I don't think I need to worry. I was pregnant by accident after only having sex a handful of times less than 9 months later.

Yeah, I know a few who struggled TTC first time round then had Irish twins essentially because they thought it’d be even more difficult when not actively TTC and when breastfeeding too.

Zo33 · 27/05/2025 21:05

Heronwatcher · 27/05/2025 20:26

I think she’s probably assuming that they won’t be fully breastfeeding.

This is true. I mainly BF with a tiny amount of formula every few days and still got my period back in two months. So I suppose it’s a fair comment from midwives given the breastfeeding stats.