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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

"You're more fertile now than you've ever been in your entire life" surely this is bullshit?

98 replies

Dandelionchaser · 27/05/2025 12:03

When I was on the postnatal ward a few months ago, I was there long enough to hear a lot of discharges done by the same midwife. She told every new mum very seriously and emphatically "you are more fertile now than you have been in your entire life" to lead in to a conversation about contraception. She seemed to the chief midwife who was telling the others what to do so I would expect her to know what she's talking about but SURELY this is wrong? As far as I'm aware, if you're EBF and your period hasn't returned then you can only get pregnant if you catch that first ovulation and that's really unlikely in the early weeks, you're probably LESS fertile than you've ever been. Even if you don't breastfeed though I don't think you're MORE fertile straight after birth than at other times, are you? Is there evidence for this? I understand emphasising the importance of contraception, and making sure that women are aware at discharge that they CAN get pregnant now. It's really important to get that across because another pregnancy in quick succession is of course possible. But AIBU to think that giving misinformation in order to emphasise the point just treats us like teenagers? I had a different midwife at my own discharge who didn't say this so I never got to challenge it!

OP posts:
TorturedParentsDepartment · 27/05/2025 13:34

I have a 10 1/2 month age gap between my girls (both were slightly premature - should have been just over a 1 year gap). Took us 6 years to conceive DD1... the comment about buses often comes to mind.

You're never going to be able to fully prove this - short of enforced shagging - but it's something to consider if you DON'T want to be rocking back up to the maternity ward in 9 months time.

Tangerinenets · 27/05/2025 13:39

I see what you’re saying. It took me 4 years to have my first. 7 years for my second and then whilst exclusively breast feeding my 5 month old and before my period had returned I fell pregnant with number 3.

Babycatsarenice · 27/05/2025 13:44

Well your uterus has just had a good old clean out having a baby - the cells there will be very vascular afterwards with amazing blood flow so that could make a very hospitable place for an embryo to implant.

FunMustard · 27/05/2025 14:17

You're being utterly ridiculous and arguing semantics unless what you're objecting to (and haven't mentioned) is that in the studies conducted it really doesn't suggest this.

I'm not even sure what you're suggesting? That the midwives assess your personal level of knowledge and understanding before having an analytical conversation about stats around pregnancies after just giving birth?

SENNeeds2 · 27/05/2025 14:21

I'm confused - you ovulate before your period .... female sperm can hang out in the womb for weeks in these little pockets either side of the cervix - we were told durihg IVF more chance to get pregnant directly after you have been pregnant and unfortunately miscarried as your body already behaving like its pregnant. So I would have assumed she was right.

Daidy · 27/05/2025 14:24

female sperm can hang out in the womb for weeks in these little pockets either side of the cervix

No, they really don’t 😆

Around 98% of sperm die within 48 hours of ejaculation, with the remaining 2%(ish) surviving only a couple of days past this.

Codlingmoths · 27/05/2025 14:38

Dandelionchaser · 27/05/2025 12:52

I know people can have fertility problems before their first baby and then get pregnant quickly with their second. I also know people can get pregnant quickly with their first and need IVF to have their second (me). It doesn't demonstrate that women in general are at their most fertile soon after giving birth!

It doesn’t prove that all women are at their most fertile after giving birth, but clearly quite a few are so it’s quite sensible advice from a midwife- the woman they are talking to just had a baby and you need to say things clearly to not just all be irrelevant noise compared to recovering and caring for baby. I can’t see why you’re trying to pick a fight about this. If it’s advice that helps some people and harms no one…

Sandy792 · 27/05/2025 14:43

MindlessDaydream · 27/05/2025 12:31

You'd be surprised... The number of pregnancy confirmations I used to do with mothers who had little babies in tow would refute your claim.

But that might be more down to them assuming that they can't get pregnant rather than that they're more fertile surely?

VoltaireMittyDream · 27/05/2025 14:52

I remember the midwife telling me this in the postnatal ward and thinking, are you fucking kidding? I am never having sex again as long as I live. I felt much the same after 6 months of a completely non-sleeping baby.

I tip my hat to anyone who has the energy and enthusiasm to end up pregnant in those first months.

Dandelionchaser · 27/05/2025 14:53

FunMustard · 27/05/2025 14:17

You're being utterly ridiculous and arguing semantics unless what you're objecting to (and haven't mentioned) is that in the studies conducted it really doesn't suggest this.

I'm not even sure what you're suggesting? That the midwives assess your personal level of knowledge and understanding before having an analytical conversation about stats around pregnancies after just giving birth?

It's not semantics at all, I'm objecting to straight up misinformation! "It's possible to get pregnant soon after you've given birth" and a conversation about contraception is sufficient. Why should women be treated like we're stupid and given straight up misinformation?

OP posts:
Dandelionchaser · 27/05/2025 14:55

SENNeeds2 · 27/05/2025 14:21

I'm confused - you ovulate before your period .... female sperm can hang out in the womb for weeks in these little pockets either side of the cervix - we were told durihg IVF more chance to get pregnant directly after you have been pregnant and unfortunately miscarried as your body already behaving like its pregnant. So I would have assumed she was right.

Female sperm can hang out in the womb for weeks? Where did you hear that??

OP posts:
MaggieBsBoat · 27/05/2025 14:56

I’ve been pregnant within a month of giving birth 3! Times. And I’ve EBF. So anecdotally it was true for me.

Crunchymum · 27/05/2025 14:58

I think it's an exaggerated statement being used to make a very valid point.

Dandelionchaser · 27/05/2025 15:01

VoltaireMittyDream · 27/05/2025 14:52

I remember the midwife telling me this in the postnatal ward and thinking, are you fucking kidding? I am never having sex again as long as I live. I felt much the same after 6 months of a completely non-sleeping baby.

I tip my hat to anyone who has the energy and enthusiasm to end up pregnant in those first months.

Yeah tbh I find the contraception conversation baffling anyway, I don't understand how anyone is having sex within weeks or even months of giving birth frankly but I say that to the doctor and they make me take home the pill anyway.

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 27/05/2025 15:04

@MaggieBsBoat did you plan that?

LoveSandbanks · 27/05/2025 15:08

My gp told me that after giving birth (or miscarriage) a woman has a period of hyper fertility. He was a doctor and knew this information and his wife was a nurse and also knew this information but after fertility issues conceiving their first child they were sure that it would not apply to them.

It did and they have two children very close together.

I don’t know how ebf factors into this but as far as I’m aware evidence to say that women are not fertile when breastfeeding isn’t much more than anecdotal and is only considered effective if feeding through the night. ie if baby stops waking to feed in the night fertility may return.

KarmenPQZ · 27/05/2025 15:12

I wouldn’t take ‘now’ to literally mean right that day. Just generally in the first few months of giving birth. I do know at least 2 women who TTC for years and needed IVF for baby 1 but then were pregnant naturally and without trying within a year of giving birth

JohnTheRevelator · 27/05/2025 15:13

I've just Googled it and it says that there is no evidence to support that you are very fertile just after giving birth.

Triptothepark · 27/05/2025 15:15

AnonWho23 · 27/05/2025 12:32

I don't know, my MW told me the same thing. I laughed and told her it took 7 yeas of fertility treatment and intervention to have my first so I don't think I need to worry. I was pregnant by accident after only having sex a handful of times less than 9 months later.

Yup, me too. "Never in a million years" said the consultant...

11thofNever · 27/05/2025 15:18

I don't understand how anyone is having sex within weeks or even months

Of course they have to have the conversation. Many women have a gap of a year or less.

LadyQuackBeth · 27/05/2025 15:19

You might not be more fertile but you might be more at risk of accidental pregnancy. Knowing what your body is doing is a very useful way for us to avoid getting pregnant or to take steps to avoid it. After birth you have no contraception in place and no idea when you are ovulating.

ttcat37 · 27/05/2025 15:21

I didn’t believe it when they told me the same- I’m old and it took us forever to fall pregnant the first time. But they were right and now I’ve got 2 babies very close in age. Unbelievable that the professionals know what they’re talking about isn’t it?

ttcat37 · 27/05/2025 15:23

JohnTheRevelator · 27/05/2025 15:13

I've just Googled it and it says that there is no evidence to support that you are very fertile just after giving birth.

Must be true then!

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/05/2025 15:32

Acc0untant · 27/05/2025 12:32

You can get pregnant while exclusively breastfeeding even before your periods have returned.

This. I’m a maternity practitioner and have met /known/worked for many months who have less then a year gap between babies

first time they have sex after giving birth and bang preg again

one lady I worked for , baby was think 4/6w when I started. Month later she was really tired and pale etx - more then usual after birth

i said any chance she would be preg / she said well we have had sex but I’m bf and Havnt had a period yet

scan Showed twins - baby’s came at 36w so she had 3 under 1 for 2mths 🙀🙀

it def happens

rosemarble · 27/05/2025 15:33

I would have far more respect if I was told "it is possible for women to become pregnant very soon after birth so I'd like to talk to you about contraception" rather than "you are more fertile now than you have been in your entire life".

I don't want to be patronised.