Is this split of household tasks fair?

[Foolsonparade]

My fiancé and I both work full time. We have set jobs that we both do that are seen as “our” tasks. So I cook and clean the kitchen and DP does everything else.

I ended up getting a bit fed up of doing the cooking every single night (on the rare occasion that I won’t be back late, he will cook) and then cleaning the kitchen. So I asked if we could split this instead of it being just one persons task. He argued that those are my only two jobs whereas he does literally everything else. I just feel like “everything else” is not as big of a task as cooking and washing the pots.

We don’t have any children, he will clean all other rooms of the house and hoover and do the laundry and clean litter trays. I work hybrid so work from home 2 days a week. This set up has worked nicely tbh because we both know what we are expected to do and just get on with it and are in a routine with it. But would I be unreasonable to think we should take the cooking in turns?

Don't forget cooking often involves lunches too.
I am sometimes an hour in the kitchen before I even start dinner.

Cooking everyday gets old fast, I would say take the cooking out of the ‘jobs’ and re divvy up the other tasks and alternate cooking. Or get a cleaner, resolved a lot of our household bickering about whose turn it was to do the bathroom!

I can see why being response for cooking everyday would get annoying, it’s a task you HAVE to do in some form everyday. Unless you have an incredibly clean house, I would argue lots of those other jobs are not daily tasks (laundry, hoovering, litter trays) especially if you’re both working with no kids. How did you come to this divide of labour?

I think I’d start the whole system again personally.

Yeah cooking every day would drive me nuts even if I did have the absolutely sweet trade of not having to do anything else.

Just make a rota for all the jobs if you like structure OP

Just not yor me. Roast meat and veg would be my food hell on James Martin.
Just prefer curries, risotto, tagine..... that kind of thing.

OP doesn't have children - there is no way it takes anywhere close to an hour to prepare packed lunches for two adults (and he should be making his own anyway!).

You’d never have roast chicken and veg? Ham and chips? Sausages with a jacket potato? Salmon with vegetables and sweet potato? Beef with roasties?

That’s if you have a partner who isn’t a picky eater. My DH only eats like 5 veggies, and only if they’re all cooked a specific way (or left raw, if it’s spinach.) I often end up with the oven, the air fryer, and the stove all running at once. Also, if you want your veggies crispy, you can’t get frozen ones, because they just turn out soft. Have to start with fresh and usually chop them yourself.

I’m not sure why, but they taught us to chop and cook the meat separately from the veggies, in cook school. Something about cross contamination.

Nope...bathroom is the worst job as is the hoovering and dusting.

Fair enough, but then you can't really complain that you're spending ages stood in the kitchen cooking.

so he does the laundry, hoovering, dusting, cleans the bathroom, cleans the pet stuff, bins, garden, polishing, cleans windows and you cook and clean up afterwards? Sounds like you get the better deal

Of course you don’t have to.

but many people want to.

we get that you don’t want to.

i would get zero enjoyment out of the meal you have detailed you are having tonight.

I guess you can count yourself quite lucky that that is a meal you will enjoy as it must make your life much easier.

DH and I are both fussy eaters in our own way, so we each sort our own dinners out. It really doesn't take long, but then I feel I'm very unusual when it comes to food compared to many people on here!

Chop the vegetables first and then the meat. No need for two chopping boards or knives and they can be cooked together. It takes seconds to chop vegetables and meat.

That said, I wouldn’t be cooking for fussy eaters.

But I guess the point is that spending ages faffing over dinner is a choice, for the most part (genuine dietary needs aside). Cooking for two adults is, broadly speaking, as easy or difficult as you choose to make it.

If you’re someone who cannot enjoy any combination of meat, veg and carb cooked in the oven then you’re quite fussy and it will take longer.

I’m the same as you in a way. I’m not at all fussy but can’t see why it takes so long. I often hear people complaining it’s impossible to cook from scratch eat every night so they have to rely on ready meals and I’ve always wondered why on earth it was taking them so long. This thread is eye opening.

And that was my initial point upthread - before the thread got slightly derailed - whether this deal is fair or not depends entirely on the length of time spent on each job.

And the length of time spent cooking depends entirely on the OP. You can very easily feed two adults with relatively little faff and hassle.

If she's standing over the stove making elaborate meals every night, well, more fool her.

Neither do I. I meant MY lunches

I’m not fussy as such, @Poiuytrewqa, because I eat everything, except sprouts; but I do love food, my dinner would be one of my pleasures of the day, so I’m prepared to put a bit of time in.

Exactly. I always find MN threads about food baffling, though.

I grew up with two parents working full-time and I can't recall either of them ever spending more than 15-20 minutes on dinner in the evenings, and I've always been the same. I hate cooking and would rather get it over with in as little time as possible - I save the fancier meals for when someone else is cooking

What are you preparing for lunch that takes an hour?

I wouldn’t rock the boat @Foolsonparade. You’re getting away with murder.

😂 My parents were the same! We always were well fed but neither slaved over an oven.

I actually quite like cooking but wouldn’t be making time consuming meals every or even most days. I really didn’t think anyone did.

Roasties.

Get eggs, flour, milk. Sift flour, mix well with eggs and milk. Rest. Heat fat in oven, make sure it’s smoking hot, pour mixture. Watch like a hawk. Time so they are ready exactly as meat is ready. That’s not nothing.