Is this split of household tasks fair?

[Foolsonparade]

My fiancé and I both work full time. We have set jobs that we both do that are seen as “our” tasks. So I cook and clean the kitchen and DP does everything else.

I ended up getting a bit fed up of doing the cooking every single night (on the rare occasion that I won’t be back late, he will cook) and then cleaning the kitchen. So I asked if we could split this instead of it being just one persons task. He argued that those are my only two jobs whereas he does literally everything else. I just feel like “everything else” is not as big of a task as cooking and washing the pots.

We don’t have any children, he will clean all other rooms of the house and hoover and do the laundry and clean litter trays. I work hybrid so work from home 2 days a week. This set up has worked nicely tbh because we both know what we are expected to do and just get on with it and are in a routine with it. But would I be unreasonable to think we should take the cooking in turns?

Surely it’s the time amount that’s relevant?

there’s lots of posts here with decisive unfair/fair statements, but no one has any idea how much effort you’re putting in to cooking/whether you live in a palace or hovel etc etc

same amount of time would be fair.

Its thinking about what to eat, ensuring you have the right ingredients, prepping the food, cooking it, washing up etc.

Far more than ‘just putting it in the oven’.

For your own health, if this is what you eat, I’d really recommend at least occasionally eating something you don’t just put in an oven.

Everything else is bigger OP. I know figuring out the cooking is hard and deciding what to eat but his side is more

maybe more of a mix around?

This must be a reverse. Do a full swap for a month where you do all the bathrooms, bed changes, hoovering, mopping, dusting, laundry, bins etc... then be very regretful when you find he won't go back!

Why do you not do alternate weeks?

YANBU, cooking from scratch every night plus cleaning up is a lot.

Might be better to share it out more. So he cooks and cleans kitchen half the week, you cook and clean the kitchen the other half.

He does the bathroom, you vacuum the house.

He does the washing, you sort it and fold it.

He sorts the rubbish, you sort the recycling.

It sounds like you have the lighter load and are very ungrateful about it!

I don't do the majority of those things and still manage to feed myself perfectly well.

I knew someone would comment to pretend a work night tea is the equivalent of making a three course meal.

How long does it take to chop and season? It takes two minutes. A chicken breast on some foil, some chopped veg and potato, oil and seasoning, in the oven for half an hour. That is cooking and it’s piss easy.

Why? What difference does it make if fish or chicken and veg are oven cooked as opposed to fried or boiled?

It’s buying some meat and veg every few days. I live alone. I manage to put some food in the oven every day, sometimes twice a day. It is not relentless 😂

Absolutely. Marinading and stirring and not necessary for healthy eating.

I hate cooking. Well actually more meal planning. 5 of us in the house, one with allergies and, two who will only eat certain foods (due to autism) so it's a pain trying to find food everyone eats.
Even with that though I'd love not having to do anything else . Just cooking and cleaning a kitchen for 2 people sounds easy.
The division of labour is unfair because your partner does more than you. A lot more. Why don't you do alternative weeks. So one week he cooks while you do everything else, then you cook while he does everything else.
If this is a reverse you should still do this.

You just open a packet of meat and take whole veggies and plop em in the oven? No chopping, seasoning, putting on pans that you have to wash ? No grains/carbs to go with them?

🙄 How long does it take you to chop a carrot? Ridiculous to try and pretend that cooking a couple of people a meal is a mammoth task.

So every night you chop one (1) carrot, put it directly on the racks with raw meat, and all you have to wash is one (1) knife and one (1) cutting board. Got it

Do you really not have the imagination @Poiuytrewqato understand that many many people don’t want a - what sounds like a completely bland meal of roasted meat and veg every night. No thanks. I’d rather spend a bit more time. You are welcome to not.

That very much depends what you are cooking.

Just put my tea in the oven.

I drizzled olive oil on foil, placed three chicken drums on, some frozen carrot battalions, some cherry tomatoes and some tender stem broccoli along with a few new potatoes. I then drizzled more oil and sprinkled over an Italian herb mix (oregano, basil, red pepper, garlic), folded the foil and put it in the oven.

On this occasion, I don’t even have to wash the knife.

What do you think is going to happen if the uncooked veg touches the uncooked meat?

Honestly, the martyrdom is ridiculous. Kids and dietary needs? Yes, I can see that being a pain. Cooking for two adults? It takes minutes.

For w
2 people, One doing all the meal planning, cooking, cleaning up and the other one doing cleaning doesn't seem unreasonable (assuming you dont live in a mansion). I disagree with others that you are doing much less. But I agree that you could swap - he doescoiming and tou do bins and litter trays etc on those days.

How boring does that meal sound though.
I may do somethinglikevtgat if I am really late, tired or unwell but wouldn't be a normal meal.

If he actually cleans the whole house weekly to a good standard and does laundry/bins/litter boxes whatever else needs doing etc etc then I think it’s fair you cook and clean the kitchen each evening.

but if that’s not working for you then suggest swapping roles for a week or so and see how you get on?

What's boring about oven roasted chicken and vegetables?

There are numerous different meats, vegetables and carbs. Are most meals not made up of a combination of the three?

The idea that preparing a meal for two adults means you have to spend the night chopping, dicing, marinading (not sure why that takes up much time, you usually just leave it to marinade), stirring and whatever else is just silly. You might fancy a more time consuming meal on occasion, but you don’t have to do that every night.