Friend ‘exaggerates’ on social media

[CheckMatte]

I have a friend, and I do really consider her a friend, we see each other weekly and she’s lovely, she has a bit of a shit life, no family or friends etc, she has a husband who is a man child, she does everything for him and their children. She confides in me a lot about her home life and I offer advice but she rarely takes it. Her husband is useless and offers 0 help with the kids etc.

anyway.. judging by her posts on social media, you’d think she has a great life, she acts like her husband is a fantastic husband and a great dad.

Aibu to think that’s strange?
I don’t really use social media to post pics or anything, I may do occasionally but not to ‘show off’ anything.

Miserable people will often exaggerate.life especially on Sm I don't think it's unusual.

That’s literally 95% of all people who post on social media though isn’t it. A snap shot, non reality, only the perfect bits of their life.

Isn’t this what everyone who gives a fuck about SM does?

I think it’s very common and not many want to share the negative side as social media isn’t the place for it.

I know alot of people very similar to your OP but what difference would posting the reality make? It attracts people who like to see others down.

Most people gushing constantly on SM have similar irl situations. I would see it as a coping mechanism

“Love you millions my amazing wonderful husband” on social media to me means “will be divorced by Xmas”.

Poor cow sounds like she needs a bit of a fantasy life to make herself feel better, it's what most people on social media are doing.

It’s not particularly surprising that she may find social media fabrications to be a bit of an escape from her actual life or a way of saving face a bit that her life isn’t as she’d perhaps hoped. I’m not someone who thinks everyone on social media is full of shit but surely you must know this is fairly common.

😂

Yeah you just ignore that stuff.

The only people that I know who do this are repairing a marriage caused by him cheating on her in a huge awful way. He now posts every day about how wonderful she is and vice versa - didn’t stop him for shagging his PA in his office at work though and getting caught.

He Was at it for years. All forgiven now apparently……

If it gives her a tiny bit of happiness in what otherwise seems a fairly horrible situation who cares ?

Odd that you don’t really use social media but see her posts enough to come on a forum to be rude about her.

It’s what most people use social media for.

Isn't this what everyone does? Now I'm happy I never post on social media but when I was really unhappy and going through a tough time in my relationship I posted so many pictures of us apparently happy

This.

I use SM to update friends and family, but let’s face it, I’m not posting ‘DS screamed that we wanted him dead for 3 hours because we asked him to put his shoes on’ (yay, PDA.) a) because I hate attention seeking tales of woe and b) because it isn’t fair on the kids. An occasional cute picture of some artwork they’ve done, or having a nice time on a walk is very different to posting intimate details of our lives.

isn’t that what most people use SM for I know that’s what my sister does let’s face it if everyone shared the reality of life SM would be shit. I barely post anything on SM I might post a cute picture of the cat or the dog but I very rarely post anything about my life or my DH think the last thing I posted was a few holiday photos and that was in April.

The last two divorce couples and the 3 most rocky relationships I know of look great of social media.

People just try to convince themselves and others that everything is great.

I’ve noticed a correlation between people who post about date nights with their husbands and subsequent divorces. It’s like they’re trying to prove something to themselves or overcompensate.

It’s a way of losing yourself in what you want your life to be. If you post your life in a certain way, you can pretend for a moment that that’s what it is. The likes and comments you get underneath it give you the boost you need. You’re hardly going to post a picture of socks next to the laundry basket and caption it ‘ffs still incapable of taking the extra step to the basket’

That is what most people who use social media do! Social media is very fake.

Totally agree. I have a good friend who would periodically post how wonderful her DH was, hor grateful she was and lucky to have him and their perfect family. Every time she did that, I’d ring her for a catch up the following week and without fail they had had a huge huge row where wedding rings had been hurled, screaming at each other til the neighbours knocked to see they were ok, her live in nanny once took their DC to her mum’s house to get them out during the row.

the post was always after they’d made up. She was so relieved that they weren’t divorcing because her mother said she mustn’t ever as good Catholics (they have now and her mother has said it’s embarrassing to have a divorcee as a daughter but she understands).

my knee jerk reaction to gushing posts is now ALWAYS that they made up after a cataclysmic marriage shaking row where the poster saw a glimpse into a divorce chasm and backed away hastily out of fear or embarrassment or some other thing that will be outweighed by relief they’re divorcing in the future.

That’s what everyone is doing on social media. It’s the pits.

This, I have a friend who had an alcoholic husband and there was DV , but from her FB you wouldn't guess it was all family parties And "happy times", thankfully they are now divorced he really was an absolute git to her and the kids, I guess posting rubbish kept her sane.

I think most people who are on social try to make their lives seem better than they are. You don't want to air out your dirty laundry for the world to see, although some people do that too.

But there is something that puzzles me about this post. OP calls her a friend and in the next lines says she has no friends. Surely she has at least one if OP is a friend.

I think it would be more unusual for her to air all of her marriage issues on SM or talk about how shit her life might be.

Aren't you her friend? If so then she has at least one friend.