Friend ‘exaggerates’ on social media

[CheckMatte]

I have a friend, and I do really consider her a friend, we see each other weekly and she’s lovely, she has a bit of a shit life, no family or friends etc, she has a husband who is a man child, she does everything for him and their children. She confides in me a lot about her home life and I offer advice but she rarely takes it. Her husband is useless and offers 0 help with the kids etc.

anyway.. judging by her posts on social media, you’d think she has a great life, she acts like her husband is a fantastic husband and a great dad.

Aibu to think that’s strange?
I don’t really use social media to post pics or anything, I may do occasionally but not to ‘show off’ anything.

I suspect most people could have written your header. I deleted all of my profiles to save my sanity and I limit my time on here. People use social media as a kind of social crutch I think, like if they pretend their lives are fine and dandy they don’t have to face the reality?

I think if it brightens her day then good for her

One of the school mums I know lives a fantasy life on instagram to her 2k followers (she runs a nutrition business), she is a divorced mother of one who shares 50:50 custody with her ex, but is always posting about her busy household, implying she has multiple children and is constantly juggling her life. She even filmed herself filling up a paddling pool with loads of kids toys around it with a caption saying ‘our household is getting ready for some bank holiday fun’ when I know her kid was with dad. I feel a bit sorry for her as she is clearly deeply unhappy with the life she has so is trying to make people believe she has the life she wants - when in reality she has a lovely life, one that a lot of people would dream of with a big house paid for by her ex etc.

If she doesn't have any friends or family (other than you, presumably), then everyone who is friends with her on Facebook is someone she doesn't know personally and she's putting a fantasy life out there to 'keep up' with what she sees as everyone else's great lives.

It might be worth telling her about a few people you know whose lives aren't great (make up a few if you need to) so she doesn't feel like quite such a complete failure.

I rarely share on sm but when I do it’s photos of holidays etc to show my aunts/cousins. We look happy on the photos but it doesn’t mean there weren’t stressy moments. There are definitely people who are all about their image on their I take it with a pinch of salt (and usually mute them)

I’m unsure how living a lie can brighten your life, the very opposite I’d have thought. Falsehoods and baseless claims indicate a poor mental state to me.

You don’t know anyone or the state of their relationship until you live with them. How often have we seen couples we know and wonder what the hell one half sees in the other ? Or bat shit ways of carrying on ? Usually the oddest couples or couples facing adversity are the ones who seem to thrive and the ones who are seen as Golden couples on the outside with everything going for them fail .

I think it's pretty common and I understand why, so I don't think of it as strange. Sad would be how I'd describe it.

most people have a bit of a shit life especially in the uk. Would you be happier if she overshared her miseries? I've been reading a thread on a woman who is morbidly obese, lives on state assistance and begs her followers for money while also claiming to be an astrophysicist with 2 phds, she didn't even do her bachelors irl. I don't think she's being intentionally deceptive.

Claiming to have 2 PhDs when you don’t and claiming to be an astrophysicist when you’re not is ‘being deceptive’ though, isn’t it?

Most people sugarcoat, exaggerate, embellish on SM - posting holiday photos selectively, gushing over a child when they’re actually a little terror, etc. but I don’t think most people on SM tell huge lies? For one thing, most people have their RL friends on SM so can’t pretend to have a different job or to still be married. Those lies won’t wash, and I would be seriously worried about the mental health of a friend who was telling them.

Came to say the same! How can she have no family when she had a husband and kids?!

Yes, and if she has children, she has family, surely?

Agree, poor woman sounds like she needs some happiness in her life and this maybe her way of coping . Be better friend.