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Original poster

Friend ‘exaggerates’ on social media

63 replies

CheckMatte · 24/05/2025 20:11

I have a friend, and I do really consider her a friend, we see each other weekly and she’s lovely, she has a bit of a shit life, no family or friends etc, she has a husband who is a man child, she does everything for him and their children. She confides in me a lot about her home life and I offer advice but she rarely takes it. Her husband is useless and offers 0 help with the kids etc.

anyway.. judging by her posts on social media, you’d think she has a great life, she acts like her husband is a fantastic husband and a great dad.

Aibu to think that’s strange?
I don’t really use social media to post pics or anything, I may do occasionally but not to ‘show off’ anything.

OP posts:
Catwoman8 · 24/05/2025 21:10

Yes it's normally the ones always declaring thier love for each other , how amazing thier husband/wife is etc who are the most insecure in thier relationships. The ones who are genuinely happy and content rarely post at all. Is it Facebook? If it annoys you, you could hide her posts and she won't know?

Guardin · 24/05/2025 21:14

I had a friend who started her own business and always posting about how great it is to be your own boss, how well things are going etc. In reality she was working 50 hours a week and barely making a profit, was working in a bar evenings and weekends to make ends meet and her boyfriend was footing the bill for the nice holidays and new car.
I never did or said anything about it because I didn't want to embarrass her. She was obviously struggling and was aware of it, pointing it out to her face would not have done anything but make her feel bad about herself.

She has given up on the business, got a job in her field and her social media posts are a lot less frequent and a lot more realistic now.

Auroraloves · 24/05/2025 21:16

It is probably a coping mechanism for her shit life.

Breadandsticks · 25/05/2025 00:10

I know people like this.

On Sm they seem amazing but I know them in person and would choose my life over theirs any day.

The sooner we realise everyone on SM is acting, the happier those of us that obsess over a “perfect life” would be.

(Edited to fix typo).

Aneatsidestep · 28/05/2025 09:05

Groundbreaking news

someone exaggerates on SM

NancyGreens · 28/05/2025 09:09

YABU - not to say it's strange, but to be surprised really! Everyone who posts a lot on SM seems to only show their best side IME. I don't use SM (other than things like youtube and MN if they count), but I remember the old days of Facebook when it was all very "here's a list of reasons why I love my amazing husband - nominate five people to do the same" 😂. Forced performative romance....shudder

DontTouchRoach · 28/05/2025 09:46

Pretty normal to only share the happier times, no?

I don’t think it’s a case of people claiming “My life is great” when it’s not. It’s a case of people saying “This moment in my life was great” - which it probably was, even if the rest of their life isn’t.

I mean, if anyone were to post a picture of them and their DP on social media it would probably be one of where they’re somewhere nice and having a lovely time together. They’re not going to post a picture of them having a blazing row in Sainsbury’s or picking up each other’s dirty socks or screaming at the kids.

If you went through any family photo album pre-2000, it would be full of photos of the family smiling and doing nice things together because - regardless of how good things were overall - unsurprisingly it’s only when someone nice happens and people are happy that they want to document it. Social media is no different.

NancyGreens · 28/05/2025 10:17

DontTouchRoach · 28/05/2025 09:46

Pretty normal to only share the happier times, no?

I don’t think it’s a case of people claiming “My life is great” when it’s not. It’s a case of people saying “This moment in my life was great” - which it probably was, even if the rest of their life isn’t.

I mean, if anyone were to post a picture of them and their DP on social media it would probably be one of where they’re somewhere nice and having a lovely time together. They’re not going to post a picture of them having a blazing row in Sainsbury’s or picking up each other’s dirty socks or screaming at the kids.

If you went through any family photo album pre-2000, it would be full of photos of the family smiling and doing nice things together because - regardless of how good things were overall - unsurprisingly it’s only when someone nice happens and people are happy that they want to document it. Social media is no different.

So true!

I would just add that SM is worse because everyone gets to see it, whereas, back in the 80s and 90s when it was only photo albums, it was only the occasional oddball who would get you round to look at the holiday snaps etc. Unless it was close family, you weren't likely to be subjected to the performative happiness / heavily curated and edited life to project an image of a happu family

Auroraloves · 28/05/2025 16:16

Would you rather she whinged and whined?

nopineapplepizza · 28/05/2025 16:22

Surely this is in line with people who post the best photo (of the 10 they took) online, not the one with the double chin or stomach rolls, or ketchup on their chin or whatever.

People literally post the prettiest picture, of themselves and their lives 🤷‍♀️

ARichtGoodDram · 28/05/2025 16:23

I think it's very normal to only share the good bits on social media.

Much like an old photo album of holiday snaps wouldn't include pics of Dad going arse over tit after too much wine, nor the massive insect bite on your arse either.

I don't exaggerate how good life is, but I equally I don't post when Dd's lines clog, or she has a poo explosion or when DN sits and sobs because he just wants his Mummy and it's not fair that she's dead.

Stopitbella · 28/05/2025 16:26

So what.

She obviously get some happiness from doing it, and people clicking like.

Leave her be.

GAJLY · 28/05/2025 16:49

I've only known 2 people like this. Their posts would be so over the top e.g. such a blessing to have a wonderful hubby/child/job etc. But in real life they both had issues going on, both have split from their husband's (be cause turns out they're not nice people). Think they're depressed and want to portray the opposite?! Who knows?!

Tagyoureit · 28/05/2025 16:56

Well I post pictures of us happy and smiling, not the tantrums the gits had because I asked them to put shoes on to leave the house and denied them their latest snack request because no one needs 134 snacks in a morning!

Mightyhike · 28/05/2025 16:58

The most gushing, lovey dovey couple I know on FB have just announced their separation.

redcord · 28/05/2025 17:02

I mean they are literally called 'stories' on SM. So yes, of course people control their narratives.

CombatBarbie · 28/05/2025 17:05

I used to do this, so the outside world didn't see the abuse. There was my magical wonderful Facebook life and.........my reality.

Those who suspected knew when it was bad when I didn't post.

Hellovation · 28/05/2025 17:06

She’s just trying to survive her life, surly it’s not that hard to understand the logic.

weird you call her a friend then swiftly follow it up by saying she has none. .a little sprinkling of superiority with the “I don’t really use social media” too!

howshouldibehave · 28/05/2025 17:18

The three people I know on Facebook who have been the gushiest about their husbands ('ooh, wow-look at my amazing flowers, everyone-they are from my gorgeous husband for Valentine's Day. I love you so much babe, you treat me like a princess and u am so lucky to have you etc etc' have all separated. I think they presumably wanted things to be amazing and thought if they'd said all that stuff, other people would think that too. But it wasn't.

BigDeepBreaths · 28/05/2025 17:24

This sounds completely normal behaviour of a regular SM user.
Obvs not ‘normal’ real life behaviour, in that its not very healthy.

I’ve a friend who wants to leave her marriage, complaining endlessly about her DH.I have seen for myself that he is cold and controlling. However, her sm posts are often gushing about him, especially the posts from the many holidays they take, cool restaurants they dine out at, or showing off the lovely home they have. I just cant reconcile her online life with her offline life. But hey ho, each to their own. Shes a lovely friend and so I mind my business and scroll on.

Crushed23 · 28/05/2025 17:28

That’s everyone on SM, isn’t it? Myself included. I’ve just come back from a lovely road trip and I posted to my instagram story some of the more scenic, “perfect” photos of our hikes and lake swims etc. I didn’t post anything about the 24-hour hangover I ended up having where I thought I was going to die, no one needs to see that 😂

Cornishclio · 28/05/2025 17:31

You can’t believe everything you read on SM

BigDeepBreaths · 28/05/2025 17:36

NancyGreens · 28/05/2025 10:17

So true!

I would just add that SM is worse because everyone gets to see it, whereas, back in the 80s and 90s when it was only photo albums, it was only the occasional oddball who would get you round to look at the holiday snaps etc. Unless it was close family, you weren't likely to be subjected to the performative happiness / heavily curated and edited life to project an image of a happu family

Show quote history

Ha ha, yes! Those aunts/uncles who did the Round Robin letters at xmas only ever informed us that Rupert had graduated from Oxford with a first and had joined a magic circle law firm, Susannah was enjoying her gap year building schools for starving orphans in Africa and Derek had got a hole in one at the charity gold tournament.

They never mentioned Muriels piles, that Susannah and Rupert are in therapy or that Derek was caught with his pants down in Mrs Forsythes greenhouse…

They were in fact trailblazers for insta!!

TeenLifeMum · 28/05/2025 17:36

My friend’s dh had an affair and then beat her up. What followed was the most bizarre outpouring of love on sm from both of them. Anyone in the know was just WTF?!? I’ve still no idea what she thought she was achieving. They’re divorced now. Split up within a couple of weeks of the fb love display.

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 28/05/2025 17:38

You said she had no friends but you are her ‘friend, you said she has no family but you describe that she has a husband and children… so she has friends and family? So what is your point?