To feel like my four year old really dislikes me?

[wailsandcries]

I know everyone will say he doesn’t and maybe that’s true but it’s so hard living with someone who openly shows their dislike towards you.

I have another child who seems to love me

You haven’t said why?

Why he dislikes me? I honestly don’t know. He really massively prefers his dad and I don’t mind that but sometimes it’s to the point of refusing to allow me anywhere near him. All day he’s been barking at me to get away from him, which I don’t ‘obey’ but is bloody hard to hear. I end up losing my temper which then doesn’t exactly improve relations but I’m not being ordered around.

It is ok, he will love you at times and hate you at times. You may feel the same towards him at times and that’s ok.

It is said that children kick off with the parent they feel more comfortable with, the one that won’t let them down no matter what. But even if that is the case with your child you need to help your child learn to be kind, just in the same way you teach them not to hit other people, you have to teach them not to be nasty to other people. And that other people includes you. Stand your ground, don’t put up with any sh*t, honestly, children need boundaries to feel safe, show him where they are.

Yes, I know thanks, but I am allowed to have my own feelings about it and him too.

You need the support of his dad, ask him to deal with that behaviour as much as you deal with it. If you show him you are both on the same side, he might respond better.

My first child was like this so I swore the next one I had would be different.

So I did everything for her, let her sleep in my bed, smothered her with cuddles etc. and now I have the clingiest baby the world has ever seen who won’t even let me go to the toilet…

Plus, the oldest has now decided I’m his favourite too and spends his whole day clinging off my ankles!!

Obviously I love them but I wouldn’t mind going back to being despised a little just to get some peace!!

Jokes aside @wailsandcries it is definitely a phase. ❤️

We have the same with my three year old and he’s been this way for a year. I kept thinking it’s a phase but no sign of it ending. He’s lovely when it’s just me and him but if dad is around he doesn’t want to know me and will cry and scream for daddy. This is even the case if I’m offering to do something with him that he loves and daddy is doing something boring. I think it’s because dad is a bit Disney dad and when he’s with him he’s more dedicated to him (not doing other household tasks etc) but also more readily gives him tv and sweet food, which I won’t. I’m trying not to take it personally but it hurts so I feel your pain !

Us to a T!

I think it's pretty common for young children to have a preferred parent, which means sometimes they can be quite harsh rejecting the other parent. I'm sure he doesn't hate you though!