AIBU to think this is bullying?

[cantthinkofausername26]

I was on long term sick for 6 months. My boss didn’t contact me once to ask if I was ok. All communication was through HR.
i am back at work now and have been for 6 weeks. My boss has still not spoken to me, popped down to see if I’m ok, says welcome back. She doesn’t email me, she doesn’t reply to emails, I’ve literally not seen her in 6 weeks. For context there are only 6 people in my department that age manages.
I feel like it’s deliberate. She chats to everyone else, has meetings and catch ups, but I’m invisible.
when someone else went on long term sick a few years ago she did the same to him.
I feel like it’s emotional bullying. AIBU?

Or maybe she’s trying to avoid a complaint of harassing people when they’ve just come back after being on LTS? Depends why you were off really. If it’s due to work place stress and it involved her then it wouldn’t be a surprise she’s keeping her distance, if operation/injury recovery less understandable.

I don’t think replying to emails would be classed as harassment. No it was nothing to do with stress, or her!

I would front it and request a meeting with her. Not to challenge her as to why she’s not contacted you, to say that you feel you should have a catch up etc etc…

You should have had a return to work meeting and there should be a wellbeing action plan in place.

Yeah, that's horrible. I'd put a meeting in her diary and say we need to discuss my return, objectives, what's happened while I've been off etc.

This was all with HR

I don’t think this would constitute bullying, but it’s not good management. Have you gone to try to speak to her?
unfortunately (rightly or wrongly) I think something like this depends on why you were off. It shouldn’t matter if you were sick what the reason was but people can’t help it

How are you doing your job if you're not being managed? Who gives you work, checks on progress, outputs, quality etc?

Awful behaviour.
Ask for a meeting with her and keep careful notes.

I’m a teacher. I know what I need to teach and which classes I have so don’t need to be given work to do as such. It is normal though to have updates from manager about deadlines, specific children, training, events, changes in the dept etc.

Sounds like poor management rather than bullying to me.

if she's on this forum, she probably thing that is very wise 😂

Most of it is pretty reasonable, but completely ignoring emails is not right.

Grow a pair and knock on her door and say hello. Bullying is a snowflake argument lot of nonsense.

By boss do you mean head of department or head teacher? Those are two different relationships.

Thanks for your input

I did say she manages 6 people, so HOD

I'm not sure it's bullying. Do you have any grounds for that, as is has she ignored substantive requests (rather than copying her in), affected your work or just not actively been in touch?

I get that you'd expect a back to work meeting. Also normal human acknowledgement is pretty standard but I don't know that it's bullying in itself.

Could be policy not to contact during sick leave and to manage that via HR.

Maybe try and schedule a meeting yourself then if not an informal call with HR to see what they advise? Not sure which is the better round to advise that but I'd try being proactive

That does seem strange. I'd really wonder what the point of your manager is.

I don't see how this is bullying

If you'd ever been bullied at work you wouldn't embarrass yourself by making such crass comments.

I am sorry that you are experiencing this. I don’t think people realise what a toxic environment schools are. Schools have a duty of care towards you and at the moment, through your HOD’s lack of communication, they are failing you.

In your shoes, OP, I would probably ask for a meeting (by email) to discuss x, y, z and see how she responds or if she responds at all. I think it’s important in situations like this to have paper trail, unfortunately.

What happens in team meetings when you ask her a question? Does she ignore you?

What happens when you email her and cc the rest of the dept about anything to do with the whole department ? Does she respond?

So all the practical matters realting to absence are done by HR and not managers, and you have no need of her in terms of doing your job. So what is it that you want from her? It might be nice if she was chatty etc., but it isn't required, and it certainly isn't bullying. Since there is such a strong HR involvement (which isn't the case in many places) perhaps they tell managers to stay out of such things?

It could just as easily be put that you came back to work and didn't "pop in" to say you are back, how's things, anything you needed to be aware of etc. It takes two to ignore each other. If you haven't seen or spoken to her you don't know what is happening in her world either. Parhaps she's on another thread saying her employee hasn't been to see her, HR never keep her in the loop, and she doesn't know what to do or whether she's done something wrong?

Thanks for your thoughtful response. Since I’m part time I miss any staff meetings. I don’t get made aware of what was said or any minutes. I find the whole thing really unsettling and you’re right, schools are so toxic. It’s such a shame, the kids are great!

Omg this is so true. Maybe she thinks I should have gone to see her when I came back? I didn’t even think of it like that. I just thought since I’d been really poorly she might check in to see if I was ok.

Could have been a primary school.