Tomorrow is our 6th wedding anniversary. I have planned a secret weekend away for DH and I. This is the first time we have been away alone together in over 2 years, due to having our DD, we have not felt ready to leave her overnight. This will be the 1st time. I have booked a nice cottage only 20 minutes from home as I don’t want to be too far away from DD. DD will be staying at home with her much older sister, who also lives with us, is a qualified Nursery nurse and DD loves her to bits so I’m not worried about leaving her with her sister.
The issue is my DH has completely forgotten about our anniversary, he doesn’t have a clue that I have booked this break, I plan to come home from work tomorrow and tell him we are going out, then drive him to the cottage, obviously he will ask me why we are going out and I plan to say, well it is our wedding anniversary so I’m taking you out. The problem is I was initially excited to surprise him with this as the day before has approached and I have realised he has no clue at all it’s our wedding anniversary tomorrow and I’m now feeling sad that he’s forgotten. i shouldn’t have to remind him surely?
On top of this it was my birthday last month. DH has never been good with presents so he has never brought me anything without asking me first. He has always been this way, he is not someone who would plan a secret surprise, which is how I am sure he has forgotten that it’s our anniversary, also the fact that I can see he hasn’t spent any money so hasn’t brought me a gift or even a card.
For my birthday he asked me what I would like, I said I would really like a weekend away just the 2 of us. He said that was an excellent idea, when my birthday came around he said he was sorry but he had been too busy to organise anything. We ended up getting a takeaway and staying at home, he brought me a boring pair of earrings, which he ordered at the last minute with little thought or effort made. I did express my disappointment and he said he knows he’s rubbish at this stuff and he will make more effort in future.
On top of this we have had big problems in our marriage which surfaced 4 years ago, all problems caused by him, he has done everything possible to make things right since, make or break stuff and we both worked really hard to repair our relationship and stay together, this is also adding to my hurt that he has forgotten.
I wanted to arrange the surprise weekend and was excited about it. I guess in the back on my mind I thought as the week went on he would realise it’s our anniversary but he hasn’t and now I feel sad that I’ve gone to a lot of effort and he’s forgotten. I have also ordered him some gifts, a card, all his favourite snacks and packed a suitcase, hidden in the boot of my car ready to go after work tomorrow.
I guess my question is AIBU to feel upset and hurt that he has forgotten our anniversary?