Was I wrong to refuse sale at work urgent advice needed

[LemonBlueberryX]

So this morning at work (I work in retail - but not a supermarket, think along the lines of b&m), someone came in and tried to buy an item. I was working on the till. When they came to the till I felt frozen on what to do as I didn’t feel comfortable selling this item in these circumstances (based on a stereotype of what this person looked like). I asked for ID (it’s a look25 item) hoping they wouldn’t have it so I could refuse sale but they did. After that I felt I had to make a choice and so I refused sale. Because of things that have happened in my area recently I felt that by allowing this sale I would be personally contributing to bad things.

They kicked off and asked for the manager who came over and asked me why I refused the sale and I just froze and couldn’t answer. Manager took over the till and served the person. The rest of my shift went on as normal but Managers just whatsapped me an hour ago asking me to come in at 10 tomorrow for a chat. I don’t work saturdays so not usually in. What do I say?

I dont really want this getting back to my manager so have tried to be vague about said item

There’s a difference between having a policy as a retailer, as in the case of choosing not to sell energy drinks to under 16s, and refusing to sell to a particular customer, even though the sale itself is perfectly legal and would be fully in line with store policies.

I know individual retailers/management still have the right of refusal. But OP isn’t the retailer, or management - and management aren’t backing her decision.

This is a tricky one. If the customer has ID then I think YABU to refuse to sell to them. What next... refuse to sell alcohol to a visibly pregnant woman?
I remember reading about a woman who was refused an alcohol purchase as she had visible self harm scars.

Just be completely open and say you had an instinct they were going to do harm with the knife. You wanted to potentially prevent a crime. What’s wrong with being honest about that?

Just be completely open and say you had an instinct they were going to do harm with the knife. You wanted to potentially prevent a crime. What’s wrong with being honest about that?

The mantrum is telling.

any reasonable adult would be frustrated, yes but ‘ok’ and then go try another shop.

im with you though. A teen buying a knife and nothing else is a red flag.

if you feel strongly about this OP then maybe it’s time to push your company to change its policy to over 21 for knife sales regardless of the knife; with special consideration given to local crime. Ikea do so already so it’s not beyond your employer to change it.

I think you can just explain that yo your manager. Say you are vigilant because of knife crime in the area and didn't feel comfortable selling a knife to a teenager, and prefer to exercise caution than risk enabling a crime. You could say that you felt it was right to pass this decision to someone with more authority than you ( your manager). You could ask for training or company guidelines on the sale of dangerous items.

I think you did the right thing.

Depends if you have bills to pay really

IMO you absolutely did the right thing OP. A single knife to an 18 year old that stinks of weed? Dodgy AF. I think you can justify this to your boss easily.

When I worked in retail which admittedly was a long time ago, the retailer had no obligation whatsoever to sell any of its products to anyone. The justification was that any object could be withdrawn from sale at any time. Not sure if that rule applies now, but if it does I think you’re perfectly fine.

You could say that you felt it was right to pass this decision to someone with more authority than you ( your manager).

She didn't though because the lad had to call for the manager.

So she'd make herself look even sillier by lying.

Although calling the manager herself would've been the professional thing to do.

Well guess what. Someone WILL get stabbed tomorrow. And it’s horrendous. But do you know what else? The person doing the stabbing could very well have stolen the knife from their mother’s kitchen drawer. Or got their hands on a flick knife somehow. Or used a broken bottle.

Crucially, they could also be 21, or 25, or 30. How far do we go with preventing the sale of knives to people who can legal buy them?

Good point.

@LemonBlueberryX
Perhaps overnight, you could ask for advice from the Police's 101 non-emergency line or their online version.
After all, the uk government's page on Selling, buying and carrying knives
https://www.gov.uk/buying-carrying-knives points out
"You can also call 101 to give information to the police or make an enquiry"..

You could ask for a callback about 'best-practice' in the scenario you were faced with today, which could prove useful in discussions with your employers.
Who knows...they may welcome the opportunity for a community officer to liase with your place of employment on policy review - or shock horror, might even ask to view cctv of the buyer for their own reasons!

Also/Or you could chat to Crimestoppers which is independant of the police.

https://crimestoppers-uk.org/news-media/news/2025/mar/the-false-security-of-carrying-knives

Really? You can’t think why?

I bought a single kitchen knife from wilko when I was 18, as I was browsing and realised I didn’t have one for uni even though I’d remembered to buy everything else. I am sure it was innocent but I get it looks dodgy.

And why would you think he would be involved in knife crime?

So the answer is for the legal age to buy knives to stay at 18, but for random shop assistants to decide on a case by case basis because “they look the type” and “cos lived experience though”?

The manager will say “I’m the manager - that’s my call, not yours.”

You'll probably get a talking-to about how their policy includes something that subliminally says that if you choose not to sell a knife to someone who is permitted to buy one (i.e of age, has the money and not a known escaped serial killer) that you'd have to choose not to sell a knife to anyone who is of age and not an escaped serial killer. You'll tell them why you did it, they'll nod and smile and repeat the store policy. Then you go back to your business and have to either go through it all again, or sell knives to anyone who wants to buy one.

Whilst I agree with your concerns about rising knife crime, you did profile this customer and therefore try to refuse service. Would you have refused a middle class, older gentleman on the basis that he could be a domestic abuser about to murder his wife, for example? Probably not. I think you’ll need to attend the meeting, apologise and explain that you froze a bit when you saw the knife and are grateful that the manager could oversee the sale. You may be asked to reread the policies on sale of restricted items but I don’t think you’ll lose your job.

And you’ll know when and where he bought the knife… how? That’s if the perpetrator is even caught.

And if he wants to stab someone, will he simply give up if he can’t buy the knife at The Range or Kelly’s Kitchen Store? Or will he steal a knife from somewhere, or use a broken bottle?

I don’t think YABU
It was a truly horrible position for you to be in.

Don’t feel intimidated or in the wrong when you have your meeting. You’ve got every right to feel how you do.

I hope they raise the consent age to 25 (or even 30 if I had my way).

🙄

OP well done and good for you for spotting it and trying to stop another senseless situation, thank you xx

Well yeah, that’s literally what the law says. For the legal age to be 18, but the shop to refuse to sell if they have any concern as to what the knife might be used for.

I can’t believe the hard time people are giving the OP. In different circumstances people are told that as a woman we need to trust our gut instincts (often referred to on MN as ‘spidey-senses’).

It sounds as naff as hell then too.

The shop didn’t though. The OP decided she didn’t like a certain type of person.