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Was I wrong to refuse sale at work urgent advice needed

626 replies

LemonBlueberryX · 22/05/2025 18:56

So this morning at work (I work in retail - but not a supermarket, think along the lines of b&m), someone came in and tried to buy an item. I was working on the till. When they came to the till I felt frozen on what to do as I didn’t feel comfortable selling this item in these circumstances (based on a stereotype of what this person looked like). I asked for ID (it’s a look25 item) hoping they wouldn’t have it so I could refuse sale but they did. After that I felt I had to make a choice and so I refused sale. Because of things that have happened in my area recently I felt that by allowing this sale I would be personally contributing to bad things.

They kicked off and asked for the manager who came over and asked me why I refused the sale and I just froze and couldn’t answer. Manager took over the till and served the person. The rest of my shift went on as normal but Managers just whatsapped me an hour ago asking me to come in at 10 tomorrow for a chat. I don’t work saturdays so not usually in. What do I say?

I dont really want this getting back to my manager so have tried to be vague about said item

OP posts:
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londongirl12 · 22/05/2025 20:54

Sorry Op that some people are being unkind on here. I totally understand your concerns. It’s not the same at all as buying knife and forks for uni. Let’s be real, you’re probably right about the reasons for not letting a young person buy a single knife. But unfortunately whilst the law allows the sale, you’ll have to do it.

Emotionalsupporthamster · 22/05/2025 20:55

I also think you did the right thing OP. Kids are being murdered in the street every day. Anyone selling knives should be able to exercise some level of discretion.

Youbutterbelieve · 22/05/2025 20:55

LegoAirlines · 22/05/2025 18:59

Sounds like very blatant (racial?) discrimination.

Yeah I suspect you were being discriminatory.

WellingtonBootilicious · 22/05/2025 20:56

This reply has been deleted

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Goldengirl123 · 22/05/2025 21:00

Well done you

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 22/05/2025 21:01

This reminds me of certain police forces routinely stopping and searching young black men, because "Let's face it, there's a lot of crime happening and a lot of them are probably involved, aren't they?"

If a single knife is a strange thing for somebody to buy, why do shops sell single knives? Or is it not strange if a 63yo woman was wanting to buy one?

What if your own kitchen knife has just broken or gone blunt and you need a new one, but you don't have money to waste on extra unneeded items, just so that your basket as a whole meets with other people's approval? He might even have a knife set at home, but this one specific knife has broken whilst the others are still fine, so why would he need almost two complete knife sets in total, if he buys a whole new set just so strangers won't judge him?

Something tells me that, if he had also had a tin of soup, a bottle of shampoo and a tape measure, people would be accusing him of 'probably' deliberately buying other items purely to try to make the knife purchase less suspicious!

At any rate, if somebody is wanting a sharp kitchen knife for criminal purposes, why wouldn't they just avoid all of the hassle of being quizzed or suspected by the assistant by slipping it into their bag or inside coat pocket and not even attempting to pay for it in the first place?

If he's 18, for all we know, he could even be in the army and trusted with all kinds of weapons whose sole purpose is to harm and kill people; but he's prevented from buying a knife to chop his potatoes when he's at home!

BlazenWeights · 22/05/2025 21:02

If we found out tomorrow that this teenager stabbed someone I bet you’ll all be singing a different tune.

Serencwtch · 22/05/2025 21:02

I'm a supermarket manager.

You did the right thing by asking for ID. If the person had ID then you should have either sold the item or called a manager to double check. It is legal for an 18 year old to buy a knife.

If you made the decision to refuse the sale based on 'profiling' someone especially a protected characteristic eg age, sex, race etc then that could be seen as discrimination. If the person was not behaving in a way that was aggressive etc & wasn't known to your shop as being a problem & the only reason you refused is because he looked a 'certain type' then that is wrong.

I understand your feelings on it but unfortunately you can't discriminate based on the 'type' you judge that person to be.

If I was your manager I would have said you did the right thing by asking for ID & requesting a manager but I would most likely I would have served the individual (I obviously wasn't there so don't know the specific circumstances)

If there are problems with knives from your shop being used inappropriately then that is something for your management team & police to be liaising with - we have some branches in some areas that don't sell certain items for that exact reason, but if it is on sale in your shop it is for sale for everyone over 18 (ID if appropriate) and you can't make that judgement yourself.

Moltenpink · 22/05/2025 21:02

Tell your manager you thought they were drunk

Scentedjasmin · 22/05/2025 21:04

The police advise that shop keepers can refuse to sell a knife if they were unsure of how someone would use it. I would reiterate that they were young, it was the only item that they were buying, that there is high knife crime around young males in the area and that you believed the customer to be under the influence of drugs. Shops are also encouraged to keep refusal logs. I would point this out and ask that your refusal to sell should be recorded in it and the managers decision to override should also be included, giving their reasons. That way, at least you have a clearer policy or audit trail in place which protects the staff and the store. You shouldn't be in trouble for refusing and if you are at all, then I would certainly raise this further up the line in B&M so that you can get some clarity on the company position.

Was I wrong to refuse sale at work urgent advice needed
FedupofArsenalgame · 22/05/2025 21:04

LemonBlueberryX · 22/05/2025 19:05

It was an 18 yo boy buying a single kitchen knife. I can't say I thought the ID was fake as my manager then went on to serve them so would ask why I didn't say anything at the time. It may be discrimination but morally I don't feel comfortable selling a knife to someone who may be involved in knife crime

Why would you automatically assume a teenager buying a kitchen knife would be using it for crime?

hangingonfordearlife1 · 22/05/2025 21:06

well i think you did the right thing. discriminatory or not an 18 year old coming into a shop (probably in a tracksuit and carrying a man bag) buying a single knife just spells trouble to me. i’d rather lose my job than someone get killed. if i was wrong about it then oh well.

FedupofArsenalgame · 22/05/2025 21:07

LemonBlueberryX · 22/05/2025 19:13

Just a single knife and nothing else. People are comparing it to their DC moving out for the first time and buying kitchen stuff. Why would they just buy 1 knife?

My DS bought one as snapped his large kitchen knife and needed it to cook. He was 19 at the time

risotto123 · 22/05/2025 21:07

You used your own judgement and I think in this situation, refusing to sell the knife to him was the right thing to do. There is a knife crime problem in this country and it is predominantly young boys who are involved in this stuff. The fact that he kicked off says a lot.

BatchCookBabe · 22/05/2025 21:08

FedupofArsenalgame · 22/05/2025 21:04

Why would you automatically assume a teenager buying a kitchen knife would be using it for crime?

Why else would an 18 year old male be buying a single knife though? Confused

SpideyVerse · 22/05/2025 21:08

LemonBlueberryX · 22/05/2025 20:25

No I didn't make a mistake. I don't regret my decision.
Lived experience meaning I lived in hostels as a teen, in which every boy there was proud about carrying knives, it is easy for me to spot these specific types of people. During that time I lived there, 2 of my friends were stabbed. Over drug issues. He kicked off to the point where I felt scared, even though the knife was in packaging.

@LemonBlueberryX
Maybe ask for this to be moved to "legal" to see if you can get any specific advise that would help you in your meeting tomorrow??

I get where you are coming from that you felt you couldn't in good conscience be a party to knife crime.

I imagine deferring to your manager/supervisor is the best policy when there is ANY transaction you are uneasy with (buck stops with them) be it questionable banknotes/ID/drunkeness/abuse etc. and there should raelly be clear policy on this, or at least a learning opportunity.

Hope there is a good outcome to your meeting.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 22/05/2025 21:09

I think that you were absolutely right not to sell a single knife to an 18 year old male. My issue is why were you unable to articulate the reason when the manager came over? It would have been perfectly reasonable to point out how unusual it is to be buying just that item alone and your concerns around this so why didn't you?

MasterOfOne · 22/05/2025 21:10

Serencwtch · 22/05/2025 21:02

I'm a supermarket manager.

You did the right thing by asking for ID. If the person had ID then you should have either sold the item or called a manager to double check. It is legal for an 18 year old to buy a knife.

If you made the decision to refuse the sale based on 'profiling' someone especially a protected characteristic eg age, sex, race etc then that could be seen as discrimination. If the person was not behaving in a way that was aggressive etc & wasn't known to your shop as being a problem & the only reason you refused is because he looked a 'certain type' then that is wrong.

I understand your feelings on it but unfortunately you can't discriminate based on the 'type' you judge that person to be.

If I was your manager I would have said you did the right thing by asking for ID & requesting a manager but I would most likely I would have served the individual (I obviously wasn't there so don't know the specific circumstances)

If there are problems with knives from your shop being used inappropriately then that is something for your management team & police to be liaising with - we have some branches in some areas that don't sell certain items for that exact reason, but if it is on sale in your shop it is for sale for everyone over 18 (ID if appropriate) and you can't make that judgement yourself.

This 100%

ilovesooty · 22/05/2025 21:11

BatchCookBabe · 22/05/2025 20:37

You did nothing wrong @LemonBlueberryX I can't understand why the manager 'wants a word with you.' How odd. Stand your ground.

Because the manager felt able to make the sale and wants to explore the employee's reasons for not feeling able to do so?

MincePiesAndStilton · 22/05/2025 21:11

I’m a senior retail manager. Most responsible retailers now don’t sell single knives in locations where knife crime is a problem. There would be absolutely no issue with what you’ve done if you worked in one of my shops. I’d suggest seeing how your meeting goes tomorrow and if it doesn’t go your way, phone HR yourself. If the company doesn’t back you, another retailer will be delighted to have you.

ClarasSisters · 22/05/2025 21:12

LemonBlueberryX · 22/05/2025 20:25

No I didn't make a mistake. I don't regret my decision.
Lived experience meaning I lived in hostels as a teen, in which every boy there was proud about carrying knives, it is easy for me to spot these specific types of people. During that time I lived there, 2 of my friends were stabbed. Over drug issues. He kicked off to the point where I felt scared, even though the knife was in packaging.

But you couldn't/wouldn't defend your decision to your manager?

MasterOfOne · 22/05/2025 21:12

Moral objection does not supercede law or policy

Op - challenge your manager to say given the circumstances/ area you live in the policy to sell knives needs a review.

But fundamentally if this doesnt change- is this job the right one for you?

BatchCookBabe · 22/05/2025 21:13

ilovesooty · 22/05/2025 21:11

Because the manager felt able to make the sale and wants to explore the employee's reasons for not feeling able to do so?

The reasons seem pretty obvious to me, and if the manager has to question the OP, then they're not a very good manager. 🤔

AthWat · 22/05/2025 21:14

HunnyPot · 22/05/2025 20:29

Do you think that people who go ‘stabbing’ plan to get caught? 🤣🤣🤣

No, that's why they don't make a spectacle of themselves in places full of witnesses and CCTV.

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 22/05/2025 21:15

BlazenWeights · 22/05/2025 21:02

If we found out tomorrow that this teenager stabbed someone I bet you’ll all be singing a different tune.

We can't live like this as a society, though - suspecting everybody of buying normal everyday items of being criminally minded.

What if he'd bought a bottle of Schloer intending to smash it against a wall and attack somebody with the jagged edges of the bottle? What if he'd bought a tin of beans intending to bash somebody's head in from behind with it? What if he'd bought a washing line intending to strangle somebody with it?

What if he was turned away from buying a knife, left the shop and went back outside to his car and then deliberately drove it into a passer-by at 60mph?

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