In laws and partners family visiting to see new baby 👶

[elizabethxxx]

Hello!

I am 37 weeks pregnant :)

my partners family are coming to visit at the end of July to see the baby. For context his parents live out the country, but his sister, niece and sisters partner live in the UK.

we have a two bedroom house and his parents are staying in the spare bedroom and his sister, her partner and niece in the living room.

my parents offered to have some of them stay at theirs however because of the language barrier his family said no (they’ve also not met before).

I feel bad three of them will have to stay in the living room (it’s uncomfortable and I’m sure they would like their own space). So I suggested to my partner we stay at my families house (a 15-20 minute drive away) and 6 minutes on the train. So they can all have their own bedroom. My partner is not overly keen on this, and says his family won’t like it.

the only other thing I can think of is if we sleep in the living room. However with a 1 month old baby in the summer I feel like this would be uncomfortable, also from past experiences his family do barge in sometimes and I feel I would need some private spare to BF etc .

i get his family want to see the baby as much as possible but we will come every morning and go every evening. AIBU? I feel like my partner thinks I am but tbh I don’t feel I am?

TIA! Xxx

Completely batshit for all the reasons PPs have said. It’s giving me anxiety even thinking about it and my kids are teens now and were relatively easy babies… the first few weeks is TOUGH!!!! Tough shit that SIL didn’t get her arse in gear and book accommodation in time… not your problem to solve. I would be de-camping to parents and let your DH sort out his family.

Their failure to plan is not a reason for you to be subjected to this ridiculous nonsense.

They are rude for even thinking of crashing at yours.

Let them be offended, if that’s what it takes. You can’t accommodate that number of people in such a small space when you have just given birth.

so if they can’t afford accommodation, they either don’t come, or they accept that you will not be bunking in with so many people and that you and the baby need space and peace and quiet

You and baby stay at your parents and visit daily and your husband can stay at your home with his family. Anything else would be madness and too stressful for you so early on with a new baby. How long are they staying? Stand your ground. You do not have to accommodate anything you do not want to regardless if they are family or not. You and baby’s needs are priority and guilt tripping you because they left it too late to book accommodation is not on you.

Eh? Why on earth should the op leave her home to accommodate disorganised idiots?

Jesus Christ.

You're going to be in the trenches at one month old, the sleep deprivation is kicking in hard, you're still trying to figure things out a bit... You'll be super emotional, exhausted...

Last thing you need is 5 extra people and the work that involves.

Tell them to fuck off and stay in a hotel.

Don’t give up your room! You will need a place to escape to!

Honestly it sounds awful, overcrowded you will likely be tired maybe overwhelmed and your body will still be recovering.
I agree your mums would be an easy solution but it sounds like that would be offensive so you may have to suck it up. I do agree thry should all stay in a hotel I fear you have set a precedent here.
Make sure your partner is there for cooking/ cleaning /drinks duty and that he takes them out often to give you a break.

No way! They need to book into a hotel. At one month you're still finding your feet and recovering from the birth. The last thing you will need is 5 extra people.

I had a fast (3 hour) first labour and recovered quickly, however, I still found visitors tiring and limited time they came around.

not sure why you posted. You aren't interested in people's opinions. Your partner has decided that they will stay with you and you just have accepted that. What's your Aibu? 🤷

Well this isn’t going to end well… look forward to your post in early August 😂

My first was two weeks overdue, then I had a three-day labour, then we were kept in for a week with various complications. Best of British, OP.

Contrary to popular opinion I think I would just suck it up, but I'm probably older than the average poster and tend to be more relaxed about this type of thing, though I do say do not give up your bedroom, if this is going to work you will need a bolt hole, and I would be making it very clear to DH that you will expect him to be running around after everyone, not you. I also think should you stay at your parents, your are giving signals that you don't want their company. As PP suggested, have your parents on stand by to host the sisters family should the need arise. Good luck op.

Put yourself and the baby first OP. You’re talking a lot about not wanting to upset them all. Balls to that- your own wellbeing is the priority here.