Needed the toilet while shopping with pram… was I unreasonable?

[feelingbaddd]

I was out shopping with my baby earlier today and I feel really bad about a split second decision that I made. I needed the toilet and it was one in a coffee shop where 3 individual toilet cubicles were behind a door with a keypad, so toilet use was customer only. I have been using this coffee shop for 2 years. I am a regular customer and used to get a coffee most days on my commute to work pre mat leave and would chat to the manager every day.

She followed me to the toilet today to unlock the door with the code, and then told me apologetically that the disabled toilet was out of order. I wouldn’t have been able to fit the buggy in the normal cubicle that was available. She offered to wait right outside the toilet with the pram (ie behind the main door, but outside the cubicle). I immediately said yes and thanked her and went to the toilet. At the time I thought nothing of it. I know she has a son of her own and always seems friendly. I could hear her chatting away to my baby the whole time but I have reflected on this since and feel like it was such a poor judgement call. Sure I talk to the woman but I don’t KNOW her personally.

I don’t know where my sense of safety was and I feel so terrible about it, I basically left my child with a stranger! Would anyone else have done the same or was it as bad of me as I am thinking it was?

I might be being dramatic, I am really sleep deprived. I can’t help feeling like a bad mum.

YABU - I wouldn’t have done this
YANBU - nothing wrong with this, forget about it!

I voted the wrong way - of course it’s not unreasonable!

I had to wee and had my twins with me in Marks and Spencer and the buggy wouldn’t even go near the door where the toilets were, so I asked some ladies on the till if they could just keep an eye on them. I took longer than expected and came out to find LOADS of Nan types all cooing over them and one of them sitting on a chair bashing the buttons on the till! They said “can you do the same time next week when we are all on again?” 😍

You are over thinking this. People help each other, this lady helped you. That is all there is to it. Be gentle on yourself x

we went on a ride at butlins as a lady said she would look after my dd, i took my handbag!

Really? She wasn’t going to abduct your baby. You’re being a bit nuts.

Leave the baby take the handbag 😀

I did a similar thing when my first was a baby and felt similarly shit about it. It was an older woman with her daughter and baby granddaughters at a baby class so it seemed 'safe' but I was so worried the whole time and still cringe thinking about it sometimes. I don't think either of us should feel guilty but I understand why you do.

I used to work at a visitor attraction and supervised lots prams with babies for a couple of minutes. Staff are hands down the safest people to ask his from - they're at work so very unlikely to run off!

Generally speaking, it is pretty safe to trust women in situations like this. That's why it is common to teach young children that if they get lost, the safest person to approach for help is a woman.
I was once in a busy shopping centre and saw a woman with a tiny baby in a lie-flat pram and a toddler - the toddler ran from her and went off up an escalator! I approached her and said 'I'll mind the pram while you go after him' - and she dashed off immediately to retrieve the toddler, leaving me (a total stranger) with her new baby. What else was she supposed to do? Sometimes you have to trust a stranger when you need help, and the risk you took was vanishingly small. I wouldn't have thought twice about doing the same.

A mother handed me her tiny baby to hold on a plane once as she was desperate for the loo. It was lovely.

Splash and dash scenario this....honestly you didn't do anything wrong. It was a few minutes!

You did the right thing. Same as if your child (in future) became lost, asking for help from the staff is the answer.

I asked a table of older ladies to look after my tiny new son once, when I needed the loo. This is what women do. It was safe.

You weren’t unreasonable if you were comfortable with it. I personally wouldn’t have done but I get anxious about these things.

It's normal around here to just leave a buggy with a baby in it outside a standard cubicle door, it's not seen as necessary to ask anyone to keep an eye on the baby for the minute or two you're in there. You'll see the buggy wheels under the door so no one is going to wheel the baby away, and you can chat/sing to baby so they know you're there.

I , personally, wouldn't have done that. Only because if something can go wrong, FOR ME it bloody well will. So I try my best to minimise the risk of things going wrong for me. I would have taken the baby out of the pram and take the baby with me. I have had to do this and it wasn't easy. However, the overwhleming majority on here have confirmed that what you did was fine, so I wouldn't sweat about it. As it has been proven, the odds are your baby will be fine in the circumstances you described.

I was at a play centre place with my then 2 year old and I really needed a wee. It was quite far down a corridor and I didn't want to put his shoes on, squish into the tiny cubicle with him etc. I asked 2 mums who were there with their children if they'd watch him for 2 mins and it was fine. It was a 1 room place, if it had had different rooms etc I wouldn't have done it.

I understand how you feel, I questioned myself afterwards but knew it was fine. You can use common sense and risk assess in these situations.

I thought you were going to say you left the baby alone , it’s fine she works there and you know here abit and presumably it’s was a few minutes , don’t stress x

i thought you were going to say something totally different. Asking a seemingly competent adult to watch your baby for a couple of mins is totally normal. You’ve done nothing wrong. Please do trust others with your baby, most people are fine, they aren’t opportunistic baby thrives lurking everywhere

This was very kind. Completely normal. I’ve kept an eye on pushchairs and prams whilst the mum has gone to the loo or gone to order something from the counter. If it’s a worry then get a baby sling This requires some manoeuvring to have the sling on as you go to the loo - equally you can hold your baby in an arm and sort of on your lap. I managed this as I didn’t often use a pram/pushchair.

I once left my 5 month old with the self checkout lady because I had to use the bathroom and the disabled/baby changing facilities were out of order.

Didn't think twice about it.

Your fine op.
I left my 1 week old in mackays in his pram and went wandering up the street. It must have been a good couple of minutes before I had a feeling that I had forgotten something 🙄
He's 27 now no harm done 😂

I have done exactly this before! Similar friendly relationship with cafe worker. My son smiled and gurgled at her for the 30 seconds it took me to pee. Honestly all I thought was "oh they're so nice in here". This was not some random stranger xx

Likely a joke but my husbands dad did similar. Left him outside the corner shop when using a cash machine. Got halfway home before he realised. DH has no recollection of it and is normal...ish.

You didn’t hesitate because you made an instant judgement call with your gut, and you were right to do so. Don’t stress