Is this a thing on the bus now in London?

[IrritatedEarthling]

I'm in London for work this week, I don't live there. I'm visibly pregnant (shouldn't make a difference to this story)

I went to the bus stop to wait for the bus, it was only five minutes' wait (hooray, London!)

I stood near to the bus stop sign, rather than sitting inside the shelter. Whilst I was waiting, some other women - three of them - arrived separately with some small children. They looked about 5-7 years old. I realised that they were nannies as the children were addressing them by their Christian names, rather than "Mummy". The ladies knew each other as they chatted together.

One lady stood close to me.

A bus arrived, and someone got off and walked away, and as I didn't get on it, it now became clear that I was waiting for the only other bus that visits the stop.

As the bus arrived, the lady near me stepped ahead of me to get on the bus. It's hard to describe, but i had thought I was in the "getting on" position, and I had my payment hels out in my hand. The other two ladies approached too, stepping ahead of me. However as I was first, I- without pushing, touching or glaring, stepped ahead of lady number 2.

I was thinking, well I was here first.

But I heard her say to my back, "Really?!" as though I was very rude. I got on and the priority seat had been taken by lady number one, so I went and sat a few seats back.

Was I rude? Are you supposed to give priority to people with children? I do have a child of my own aged 4 and when I was with him in the evening yesterday nobody let us cut in front, and neither did I expect it.

What should I have done? How does the queue system for a bus work now in London?

I would charge nuns double. Or make them travel in the luggage compartment…

In my city people don’t form an orderly queue for the bus. A bit like the tube. No one stands in a line and no one notices who was there first. As the bus stops (could be anywhere in the vicinity) the nearest get on first, unless there is anyone visibly needing to get on eg elderly, disabled, buggies etc. people do tend to let kids on 1st. No one walks around anyone to get on usually.

Same here. I detest rudeness, including queue-jumping — it makes life worse for everyone. The woman who made a snarky remark when you refused to let her push in is a self-entitled CF! And the one who did get in front of you took the priority seat, which (unless it was the only free seat) I would leave for an old or disabled — or pregnant — passenger.

Yes, some people see kindness as weakness. It’s not unique to London though.

I was at a market stall recently that sold pretty hair claws.

I was about to buy the only pink one, and a woman exclaimed how she wanted a pink one and if there were any others pink ones. The stall holder said that was the last one so I offered it to the woman, who didn’t even say thank you to me.

I was then holding a hair scrunchie, she then approached me and said she wanted that hair scrunchie too. Remembering her lack of thank you earlier, I told her I would be buying this one. She was so annoyed, because she had assumed that me giving up the hair claw meant that I was a wet lettuce that she could order around, whereas I saw it as an act of kindness.

Lots of racism on this thread. The truth is people behave in front of others they deem "worthy". You should see how British expats - Oxbridge-minted, middle to upper class - behave in my post-colonial country. They've always been known to be really entitled queue jumpers. Like, queue jumping is one of the distinctive traits people associate with them.

I noticed several years ago that queuing at London bus stops had gone out the window. It started with young people, tourists, esp young tourists and kids in groups.
All older people, pregnant women and anyone who is disabled can do is speak out at the time when others push in front.
I find saying ‘oi, don’t push in/ I was here first/ there’s a queue mate’ can work well on young students on the whole — they don’t expect to be reprimanded and are quite taken aback.

Ugh, yes. Some people do seem to think that if someone gives them an inch they're entitled to a mile - and then they have the nerve to get miffed if the other person puts their foot down. Appreciating/saying thanks for a favour seems to be a dying art.

FFS, I suspect that the vast majority of people who aren’t very obviously of a different faith, would find it offensive.
Too many people nowadays seem to be endlessly looking for something to be offended about - and gleefully pouncing when they find one.

So you saw one queue, on one occasion, and decided the ethnicity/profession of the people queueing was relevant? 🤔Hope you're not a statistician...

People with buggies often get on at the back first, especially if the buggies are too wide to fit comfortably through the corridor. This is also so they can physically fit on the bus during busy periods - it's easier for the buggies to get on first and everyone else to squeeze around them.

The loosely observed etiquette for getting on the bus is to let whoever was there first get on first. However, people with good manners will tend to let anyone obviously struggling - a woman with several small children, someone on crutches, an elderly person with a walking stick on ahead of them - so that they can choose their seats first in the best place for them.

Children don't have automatic priority, but if their parents or carers have their hands full, people tend to let them go first or help out. Similarly, children don't have automatic priority for a seat on the bus, but if they're very small or struggling to stand, people will often give up a seat for them.

Pregnant women don't have automatic priority for getting onto the bus, but should be offered a seat at the bus stop and when on the bus.

Generally everyone is fairly considerate on our local bus route though. Lots of regulars and familiar faces and everyone just rubs along as best they can. People do eye-roll sometimes - for instance, at the lady with the enormous buggy which took up the whole wheelchair/buggy space and didn't think she could turn it round to fit another buggy in since her child was sleeping (usually you can fit 2-3 buggies per bus). She was told in no uncertain terms to move it round so another buggy could fit on.

Good grief, some of the things on this thread 😧

Londoner of 30+ years here (though grew up elsewhere). I don’t think it has any more of an ‘each man for himself’ attitude than anywhere else. In fact it’s much friendlier than many places I’ve been.

In my experience, if it’s a bus stop just serving one bus route then people queue, albeit sometimes in quite a loose formation. The only time I ever see pushing at a bus stop is when there’s a Tube strike, which causes everyone’s tempers to fray and there’s a desperation to get on a bus by any means necessary or you’ll be late for work.

You can’t queue at a bus stop that serves more than one bus. That’s not workable.

OP, the woman at the bus stop most likely hadn’t noticed you’d been standing there. Especially if she’d been looking after a child or chatting to someone else. So she thought you were being rude and objected. This proving my point that (perceived) rudeness in bus queues is not an everyday occurrence.

People are just so rude I couldn’t believe when I was very pregnant that people didn’t give seats up etc in London

There was a young man with a huge heavy pot plant struggling on our bus a while back. A lady with kids moved from the seats next to the wheelchair area and made her older one stand up so he could sit down and hold the plant upright. He was very grateful but I suppose you'd say she shouldn't have bothered since it was his choice to bring a large plant on the bus.

Don't be an arse. Help people out with they need it, for whatever reason. It spreads good karma and costs very little.

No, you weren’t rude, and it should have been obvious to the other ladies that you were there first. However, is it possible that they didn’t actually notice because they were focussed on the children?
Where I am (Glasgow) it’s not really about who is physically there first but who is standing closest to the bus as it approaches. It’s not queuing exactly but as you see the bus you want approaching, you move closer and you shouldn’t actually barge in front of anyone who is closer than you. Could this be how they interpreted this?
To make things more complicated, and this is particularly true if buses for more than one route stop at a particular stop, you kinda have to make it very obvious that you want that bus to stop by standing forward and putting out your hand. If there are lots of people, it can be unclear if people who seem to be in front of you are actually wanting the same bus as you! I’ve been caught out several times by seeing people ahead of me step forward, peering at the number of the bus, only to step back when they realise (too late) that it’s not the one they want, and it drives on and I miss it! So now I step forward and definitely put my hand out regardless of who might appear to be ahead of me. That might look like barging in but actually it’s self preservation in the face of others being dithering idiots (sorry if that’s harsh, can you tell I’ve experienced this multiple times?)

Here, let me help you - 🎣

In short:

In most parts of the country, outside the big cities, bus stops serve one bus route. You queue.

In much of London, bus stops serve multiple bus routes. Often two or three buses will arrive at the same time. Queuing doesn't work, so you don't queue.

Londoners on the whole are no more rude than people elsewhere. But the public transport environment is very different from much of the country.

About the person who was reprimanded by the bus driver for not letting the passengers off. This is considered to be selfish and a complete no-no, even if there are seats available on the bus.

It’s the usual practice, is common courtesy, safer and makes life easier if everyone waits for passengers to get off the bus first.
Showing my age somewhat but I well remember bus conductors calling out at the stop to ‘Let the passengers off first, please.’
You look like a rude, entitled knob if you push past anyone in these circumstances.

I live in London. As PPs have said, it’s everyone for themselves. In fact I was surprised that you were surprised that the women cut in front of you. Didn’t know that wasn’t a thing elsewhere.

Ah yes, I remember those London days from when I was younger and taking the tube. Anyone who tried to shove themselves onto the train whilst I was getting off got unceremoniously barged out of the way, usually with the very ringing command of 'Let me off the bloody train first, you fuckwit!' Made them jump out of their skins.

Well you've been rude as fuck to people replying.

And here we go!

Actually I used to pass by every day and saw the same queue. Other people on the bus used to remark on the queue too. Hope I didn't make you splutter out your wine....

It's complete common sense too. Let people off first, more space on the bus, easier for people to get on and find a space.

It is the one thing I shout (well, speak very crossly) at people for 😂. Not ok to have got on and be standing in the way, so people have to squeeze round you to get off.

Edinburgh has a tacit practice that people waiting in the bus shelter or at the stop get on first, and any people clustered like triffids around the stop wait politely until the "proper" queuers are on. Tourists and foreign students don't do this, so our queues are rapidly eroding in the city centre. Bah.