Page 4 | Grandparents leaving money to grandchildren?

Honeysucklelane · 2025-05-21T19:56:23+00:00

I read an article recently about the rise in grandparents leaving their will to their grandchildren instead of their children. I believe my in-laws may be doing this and I’m not sure how I feel about it. On one hand thrilled for my children, but on the other worried they may come into a ton of money at a young age. How do other people feel about this?

Onlytodaymatters · 21/05/2025 22:25

There are totally parallel lives happening here. If you are 50 odd and bought in mid-twenties you are laughing! If anything beyond you probably have a mortgage still. If you’ve had children and not a high paying career, probably a mortgage until 69.

If my kids inherited in ten years when we are ten years off paying the mortgage, I would be slightly bummed.

This kind of inheritance is harmful and hampers potential. I cannot think of anything worse than my youngest inheriting the value of a property in his early twenties. I’m fairly certain he would decide to have a very pleasure centric life that would be ultimately harmful. I have a relation who is still living at home at 49, because of similar indulgence.

treetopsgreen · 21/05/2025 22:25

@Overthebow I don't think it was the OP whining & Im sure if the poster mentioned could save for her dcs house deposits she would. I save for mine but I was helped onto the ladder by my parents & that makes it easier for me.

Louko · 21/05/2025 22:26

Pepperpotladles · 21/05/2025 21:11

I hate threads like this.
My DC will inherit nothing from grandparents. Nothing. Nor will I.
Of 4 grandparents, 3 are dead and left no inheritance to anybody.
1 remaining grandparent rents a council house.
My DC are teenagers and neither are academically thriving so not projected to get great GCSE grades which means high earning professions will be ruled out.
We have no savings. We're spending every penny we've got on our monthly outgoings, crippled by the recent rise in our mortgage interest rate.
I don't know how the fuck either of my DC are ever going to get on the housing ladder with no inheritance.
I hate inheritance wealth.
It's so bloody unfair.
My DC are going to feel like very, very poor comparisons to all their friends who have got grandparents leaving houses to them in their wills.
Not to mention the stress and worry this removes from the parents, my friends, who don't have any financial worries about their DC's future because they know they will be inheriting a house in their 20s when GP die.
Compared to the likes of me who is worried sick daily about my DC's financial future.

Edited

Oh I wouldn’t worry lots of ordinary inheritances will be eaten into or eaten completely up by care fees!

treetopsgreen · 21/05/2025 22:28

@Louko I agree, the government is coming for that money!

BrendaSmall · 21/05/2025 22:28

My grandchildren are going to get everything of mine when I pass away!
my daughters has had everything from me, they’ve had weddings paid for and help with mortgages, and if they want anything birthdays or Christmas’s they get it!

Onlytodaymatters · 21/05/2025 22:30

As someone who talks to people about this for a living I do hate when I feel the kids will be blindsided. I have one scenario where the apparently very wealthy son did not attend his own parents funeral after missing out on £150k.

Deeds of variation are a much better idea as if the grandchildren are drug addicts or married to wasters, the parents can happily decide. Also a high earning child could easily suffer a health issue that makes them unable to work and their own kids being super flush would surely be the very worst thing!!

Good parents who love and trust their children don’t do this, in my opinion.

pavillion1 · 21/05/2025 22:31

With people living longer its no doubt probable that it goes to grandchildren

Popsicle1981 · 21/05/2025 22:31

Pepperpotladles · 21/05/2025 21:11

I hate threads like this.
My DC will inherit nothing from grandparents. Nothing. Nor will I.
Of 4 grandparents, 3 are dead and left no inheritance to anybody.
1 remaining grandparent rents a council house.
My DC are teenagers and neither are academically thriving so not projected to get great GCSE grades which means high earning professions will be ruled out.
We have no savings. We're spending every penny we've got on our monthly outgoings, crippled by the recent rise in our mortgage interest rate.
I don't know how the fuck either of my DC are ever going to get on the housing ladder with no inheritance.
I hate inheritance wealth.
It's so bloody unfair.
My DC are going to feel like very, very poor comparisons to all their friends who have got grandparents leaving houses to them in their wills.
Not to mention the stress and worry this removes from the parents, my friends, who don't have any financial worries about their DC's future because they know they will be inheriting a house in their 20s when GP die.
Compared to the likes of me who is worried sick daily about my DC's financial future.

Edited

I’m in the same boat as you

Steamy737 · 21/05/2025 22:32

Honeysucklelane · 21/05/2025 22:21

Ooofff that is difficult! Especially with such a big sum. Did they give you any reason for their decision? As much you wouldn’t begrudge your child, it’ll be really hard.

Show quote history

I don’t begrudge DC getting the money. I certainly wouldn’t be spending it if I received it. I would however look to structure it in such a way that it was more manageable for DC to benefit from it.

DC is only 5. I have no idea whether they will be a responsible 18 year old or not. It is far too early to be able to assess how best to hand over such a sum to them.

If DP were going to be alive when DC was a young adult then I’d have slightly less concern as they could decide then whether their plans were sensible or not. As it is they have banked on a now 5 year old being a level headed 18 year old. I think that’s risky and an unnecessary gamble to take.

Original poster

Honeysucklelane · 21/05/2025 22:32

BrendaSmall · 21/05/2025 22:28

My grandchildren are going to get everything of mine when I pass away!
my daughters has had everything from me, they’ve had weddings paid for and help with mortgages, and if they want anything birthdays or Christmas’s they get it!

I hope you have at least discussed this with your children. Although you may have already helped them a lot, they may feel hurt and they might not be financially secure.

OP posts:

Whatsgoingonherethenagain · 21/05/2025 22:32

It depends how it’s split?

I have two children, my brother has 4. If my parents split it equally between the grandchildren then my brothers kids effectively inherit 2/3 of the estate. My parents would never do this for that reason. It goes to me and my brother, and on to the kids after that. I will likely give mine a share early anyway.

what is shitty is what my in laws did- leave two of their 4 grandchildren money in the will, completely ignoring the other two. Fuck knows why they did it, we didn’t find out until they died and we saw the will. Dh’s sister knew though and never mentioned it….

Louko · 21/05/2025 22:33

For older people an inheritance could pay a mortgage off and help in retirement. Not everyone has a huge pension pot! If it’s not needed then it can still be gifted to the younger generation.
. Our kids will get what we leave ( unless it’s eaten up with care) and we have a separate savings account for grandkids so they’ll have a little something too but I know their parents will do their best for them .

PawsAndTails · 21/05/2025 22:34

I really hope my child's grandparents don't do this. One of mine gets disability entitlements. Any inheritance will be just enough to mess with those and the services that provides, but not enough to make that not matter and cancel out the loss. Much better to leave it to me where it can help them less directly and not impact their supports. Yes, I would use it for their benefit first.

treetopsgreen · 21/05/2025 22:35

@PawsAndTails disability benefits are not normal means tested?

JustMarriedBecca · 21/05/2025 22:36

Pepperpotladles · 21/05/2025 21:11

I hate threads like this.
My DC will inherit nothing from grandparents. Nothing. Nor will I.
Of 4 grandparents, 3 are dead and left no inheritance to anybody.
1 remaining grandparent rents a council house.
My DC are teenagers and neither are academically thriving so not projected to get great GCSE grades which means high earning professions will be ruled out.
We have no savings. We're spending every penny we've got on our monthly outgoings, crippled by the recent rise in our mortgage interest rate.
I don't know how the fuck either of my DC are ever going to get on the housing ladder with no inheritance.
I hate inheritance wealth.
It's so bloody unfair.
My DC are going to feel like very, very poor comparisons to all their friends who have got grandparents leaving houses to them in their wills.
Not to mention the stress and worry this removes from the parents, my friends, who don't have any financial worries about their DC's future because they know they will be inheriting a house in their 20s when GP die.
Compared to the likes of me who is worried sick daily about my DC's financial future.

Edited

Sorry but that's bollocks.

My cousin left school at 16 and entered the building trade with 5 GCSEs (barely).

I have two first class degrees off the back of 5 A Levels and am senior level management in a national law firm.

He earns more than I do.

Qualifications do not equal a decent salary. Hard work does.

Whatsgoingonherethenagain · 21/05/2025 22:37

Pepperpotladles · 21/05/2025 21:11

I hate threads like this.
My DC will inherit nothing from grandparents. Nothing. Nor will I.
Of 4 grandparents, 3 are dead and left no inheritance to anybody.
1 remaining grandparent rents a council house.
My DC are teenagers and neither are academically thriving so not projected to get great GCSE grades which means high earning professions will be ruled out.
We have no savings. We're spending every penny we've got on our monthly outgoings, crippled by the recent rise in our mortgage interest rate.
I don't know how the fuck either of my DC are ever going to get on the housing ladder with no inheritance.
I hate inheritance wealth.
It's so bloody unfair.
My DC are going to feel like very, very poor comparisons to all their friends who have got grandparents leaving houses to them in their wills.
Not to mention the stress and worry this removes from the parents, my friends, who don't have any financial worries about their DC's future because they know they will be inheriting a house in their 20s when GP die.
Compared to the likes of me who is worried sick daily about my DC's financial future.

Edited

You can’t say your children won’t have good careers.

high paying professions aren’t always ruled out on gcse grades.

what will stop them is you telling them their GCSE’s means they’ll never succeed.

i know plenty of people in my field with nothing more than a maths and English pass who are now on 100k+ salaries.

It’s depressing you think your kids have no future because they won’t get an inheritance or a* GCSE’s.

PawsAndTails · 21/05/2025 22:37

treetopsgreen · 21/05/2025 22:35

@PawsAndTails disability benefits are not normal means tested?

They are where I live.

passthebiscuittins · 21/05/2025 22:39

Hadalifeonce · 21/05/2025 21:05

MiL left her cash and investments shared between her grandchildren. They can't have the money until they are 25, and she stipulated that the mothers had to invest it until that time.

Did this feel like another job for you to have to do then?

justasking111 · 21/05/2025 22:40

I would encourage them to set up a trust fund

TheOmbudsmansComingtoGetYou · 21/05/2025 22:41

JustMarriedBecca · 21/05/2025 22:36

Sorry but that's bollocks.

My cousin left school at 16 and entered the building trade with 5 GCSEs (barely).

I have two first class degrees off the back of 5 A Levels and am senior level management in a national law firm.

He earns more than I do.

Qualifications do not equal a decent salary. Hard work does.

Show quote history

Easier to mump and moan with your hand out though, isn’t it.

AthWat · 21/05/2025 22:42

Partypops10 · 21/05/2025 21:18

@RandomMess I agree it’s a shitty and dare I say slightly controlling thing to do if your children have debts to pay.

How the hell is it "controlling"? Is it impossible to have a thread where somebody doesn't use that word?

treetopsgreen · 21/05/2025 22:42

As a millennial & a Londoner I don't know any of my peers who bought without some form of help.

Louko · 21/05/2025 22:42

Onlytodaymatters · 21/05/2025 22:30

As someone who talks to people about this for a living I do hate when I feel the kids will be blindsided. I have one scenario where the apparently very wealthy son did not attend his own parents funeral after missing out on £150k.

Deeds of variation are a much better idea as if the grandchildren are drug addicts or married to wasters, the parents can happily decide. Also a high earning child could easily suffer a health issue that makes them unable to work and their own kids being super flush would surely be the very worst thing!!

Good parents who love and trust their children don’t do this, in my opinion.

Edited

Exactly. A token gift to grand children is nice but not the bulk of the inheritance,

TheOmbudsmansComingtoGetYou · 21/05/2025 22:43

Sorry but surely people can leave their money to whoever they want? I feel like there is a lot of “entitlement” going on here.

XelaM · 21/05/2025 22:45

What if you and your husband divorce and remarry? Then the grandparents' money would go to strangers. I think it makes sense to leave it to grandchildren and it's pretty shitty of you to resent your children getting money.