Grandparents leaving money to grandchildren?

[Honeysucklelane]

I read an article recently about the rise in grandparents leaving their will to their grandchildren instead of their children.

I believe my in-laws may be doing this and I’m not sure how I feel about it. On one hand thrilled for my children, but on the other worried they may come into a ton of money at a young age.

How do other people feel about this?

DParents have left it very clear they'll be leaving their money to their grandchildren.. will be interesting to see what happens if they inherit. DMIL is very much will spend every penny on herself despite recieveing nearly 7 figures of inheritance already because "she earned it"
Overall I don't care, not my money, not my decision

I've noticed that many posters seem unbothered if their parents chose to leave everything to their children. But this can raise some difficult issues—especially in families with multiple siblings. For example, if one or more siblings don’t have children of their own, they can end up effectively excluded from the inheritance altogether.

There’s also the broader reality that many people now in their 40's and 50's never had the chance to get onto the property ladder and are still renting. For them, an inheritance from their parents might be the only real chance of financial security in their old age. Prioritising the future of grandchildren can feel unfair or even hurtful to adult children who are still struggling.

I have a sister with two children, and I have none. I would find it upsetting if my parents chose to leave everything to my niece and nephew. They've already inherited from their paternal grandparents and will likely receive more in the future from their parents — and eventually from me. Meanwhile, I could end up with nothing, despite having been equally part of the family.

Of course, parents are free to do what they want with their estate. But I believe these kinds of decisions should be openly discussed, rather than assumed. It's not just about money—it’s also about fairness and how we value each other within the family.

Most of the comments on this thread stink of jealousy that posters children will get the money and the posters won’t. It’s a bit sad.

My parents and DHs parents will leave their estates to their grandchildren. Am I bothered? No. My children - despite not yet being teenagers - have been raised to be financially responsible, so I trust them not to make stupid decisions. Most of their ‘pocket money’ already goes into savings (which is 100% their own choice) for big purchases anyway. Will they change as they get older? Possibly. Will their morals and attitude towards the importance of saving change? I doubt it.

I don’t think skip a generation completely. Leaving equal can work if all dc are ok financially. If grandchildren will only inherit when their parents die, it’s very late. Lots of people are giving much earlier to help them - ie to grandchildren. If you have no dc, you have no dc to inherit from you or any expectation to help anyone. Grandparents feel they do and want to help.

One dsis of mine inherited enough to buy 3 houses where she lives. No dc and still lives in a flat rented from LA at next to nothing so why does she need more? She didn’t spend what she had!

duplicate

I think a small amount directly to the GC is nice but I'd rather get the inheritance myself. I am not an idiot who is going to blow it on fags and booze and spend nothing on my own children. Of course I would use some of it to help them. And spending it on a bigger house / family holidays etc would benefit everyone.

I know people whose children have quickly out-earned them and are in a better position than them!

And why wouldn't a 60 year old need an inheritance? Maybe they have no pension. Or lost their home in a divorce. Or have medical needs that the money could alleviate.

I don't think you can say what the best thing to do is without knowing the people and circumstances involved in each case.

Skipping a generation and leaving estate to GCs can get very complicated. Especially if there is a wide variation in ages of DGCs.

Putting an estate in a trust may seem like a good idea when DGCs are all children but much less good if some DGCs are children and others are working adults by the time the will needs to be executed.

If my Dad had left all his money to his DGC, one grandchild would have received everything and the grandchild's brother (2 years younger) would have received nothing as he wasn't born yet! I definitely wouldn't want to risk leaving everything to my grandchildren if my own children were still of childbearing age.

No you probably won’t divorce but if your spouse dies then you may remarry.
It is really bad when children do not benefit from their parents hard work because 1 parent dies and then the other parent remarries and then dies before their new spouse.
I would welcome inheritance laws like they have in France, where you have to leave a certain percentage to your children.

That’s assuming you feel the money given to your child is family money, not for them as an individual.
I can see why you might feel slighted at not receiving any yourself, but that’s a different issue to how many children are in each family.

I think this is unfair. It should be left to the children then if they want to give some or all of their share to their own kids that's up to them.

What if there's 4 children but one of them never had kids? What if 3 of the children had 3-4 kids each but one of them only had one kid?! Then the grandchild who is an only child ends up with less, whereas if it was only split between the original 4 children it's more fair. The grandchild with no siblings gets less than if it was just given to their parent(s) to pass on to them.

The whole thing is daft and makes no sense to me.

I absolutely will not remarry if my DH dies. One of the reasons is that, as things stand now, I'd get a hefty life insurance payment and I want to protect that for my children, as my DH would want. I'll never tell anyone that money is even there (except probably my children who I will be supporting with it anyway).

Not sure that really adds up…
The single child would receive more from their parent, but the four siblings would have to share their parents slice of the original inheritance.
Left to them directly, they all get an equal amount.

When my children were preschoolers, their great grandmother divided her small estate between the great grandchildren. They got about 50 each. I took them to the toy shop to choose something nice as a gift from her and used the remaining 20 for term fees for an activity they all did. I know their GGM would have been happy with that.

If my parents live as long as their parents I won't inherit anything, if there is anything which there is unlikely to be, till my mid-70s. My kids will be middle aged themselves.

I think it works when grandchildren are adults. As young dc and having parents of child bearing age, you would take a different view. Parents who are elderly do know what their dc have! They know what they have been able to do financially but love is equal. Grandchildren generally need money more than their parents. If someone doesn’t have dc where are they leaving their money?

It’s often done to make sure nothing goes to stepchildren.

If you have sons, they could potentially father a new grandchild even when they're in their 80s or older!!

Even without adding stepchildren into the mix.

It would make sense for my mum's side of the family. We tend to have children in our twenties and early thirties and live into our 80s. That means that by the time the grandparents are in their 80s the parents are in their 50s/60s so no chance of having more children. The grandchildren are usually mid twenties up so unlikely to fritter money away but find it very useful for house deposits, costs of great grandchildren etc.

OK you won’t (neither would I) but many would and their children may end up loosing any inheritance from their parents. That is why I think the rules need to change.

The rules don’t need to change! What rules override a will that says estate is left to dc? Write a will that reflects what you want. If parents don’t, then tell them they should.

What? You get to write the will you want and demand that your parents also write the will you want?? 🤣

You can lose inheritance regardless. It’s not just a stepfamily or remarriage problem.

my mum got a significant lump sum when my dad died. Plus House paid off, car, large pension- she’s on more than dh or I.

She never remarried but there’s nothing left. she’s never worked. holidays, spending, new cars, house remodelling, never really having to think about a budget, and 40 years later there’s nothing left. She downsized to a small flat with a mortgage years ago to free up more cash.

i have learned and will ringfence a portion for the dc so they aren’t left in the same position, but also dh has a home for life and enough to live on.

making sure dc get a share as well could leave a spouse in financial difficulty. If their main asset is the house, it will have to be sold to pay dc their share.

it will also lead to a lot of legal issues when children think they should inherit. My stepdc don’t realise our house is in my name (bought before we met) and dh walked away from their mum with nothing- signed over the house, she cleared out all the joint accounts before she filed for divorce. If he dies it wouldn’t surprise me if his kids came after their share of our home- if the law was changed they’d think they were entitled regardless of the will. Solicitors will be the ones benefitting.

@AnnascaulIt’s not a demand! Ffs. It’s a conversation. You might find when people get very old they like a sounding board.

DM got agitated that she had not left her grandchildren anything. Nothing. Me and siblings had already had a very good legacy. As I said, dsis could have bought 3 houses with it! So yes, DM asked about grandchildren and her own dc. As all her estate could have been spent on care fees (quite a bit was) I advised her that her grandchildren could use their share for a house deposit or pay off university fees if she recognised them in her will. That meant I got less. Dsis (2) got less. I have less dc than dsis. One dsis has no dependents at all. I did not grab anything but grandchildren got something years earlier than they might have done.

Please see this as advice. Families are allowed to have discussions about money and wills! Using some to skip a generation is not a bad thing and it depends on circumstances.

I mean, ultimately, to me if my parents leave money to my kids, they have left it to me.

Your reasoning is great and explains it better than me.

If my ex inherits anything he’ll waste it and I doubt the kids will get much from him.