AIBU to except you to be reasonable if your child’s name could be pronounced different ways

[IncognitoPanda]

If you’ve given your child a name that could have multiple pronunciation's AIBU to expect you to understand when people pronounce it a different way to how you would when they don’t know the child. I’ve have seen three patients today where the parent has been grumpy / arsey because I didn’t know how they liked the name pronounced (think Kia (keeyah or k-eye-a) ? Surely that’s the risk you take when selecting a name with different ways of pronouncing it?

I wouldn’t get arsey with you - I’d be delighted you asked rather than just spell it incorrectly which is what 90% of people do 😄

A lot of NHS systems (emis and systmone) allow either a "known as" or alert pop up so the pronunciation can be on dictated " Grouach. Spelt groo- ach".

Although we had a Spanish gentleman call Jose. One doctor put "say Hose". A nurse made the inevitable misspelling! :(. Fortunately the patient had a sense of humour.

Children in a waiting room would be with a parent/guardian/relative?

In this type of context, my surname is always mangled* and my forename is sometimes misread. I just listen carefully and give the correct pronunciation after...No need to get my knickers in a twist about it.

*Think something like "Menzies".

I think you don't realise until so many mispronounce it, so it can get annoying. I also find with so many variables better to ask then presume.

It’s always better to ask. But sometimes you need to call the name first before you can ask!

That true, I always slowly say it with a questioning tone. It's hard!

Omg are you my nurse from yesterday?! For the first time in my life I corrected a nurse about the pronunciation of my name. It is actually pronounced how it's spelled but is unusual & at a glance ppl assume it's another standard English name.

I don't correct people until they notice the spelling & ask - then I explain. But it means I do respond to the other name out of habit in things like hospital settings cos they use your surname too so it's obviously me.

However! Yesterday there was only me & one other woman on the ward, waiting for the same to surgery & her name was the English name ppl default my name to! When the nurse came to me with my notes, she did indeed call me by that name & I was mortified cos I knew I had to say something & I felt really really rude. I apologised so much!

When I said it to her, the other lady called out that she'd clocked my name and was having a panic & was really glad I'd said something.

Funnily enough, when I got down to theatre a different nurse told the anaesthetic team that I'd got high blood pressure - I don't. But I suspect the other lady does lol

I would never ever be shitty with anyone or short though, I let it go all the time cos I understand why it happens.

Why be mortified? It's absolutely not rude and you shouldn't apologise for asking people to pronounce your name correctly! In fact, in the circumstances you describe you show why it's really important to do so. You don't want to be mistaken for someone else.

Having worked in healthcare you are in a no win situation.

One hospital I worked in there was a local name 'Hough' pronounced 'Hoff' or 'How' so I would ask for Mr 'Hoff' or is it 'How'? One day I had someone very arseyly say, "It's Hoe" as if I was an imbecile.

Then there was the time I called 'Siobhan', and a young lady and her mother looked at each other, apparently that was the first time anyone had got it right.

Then I went in to teaching. Another minefield when you do supply.

I feel like It could be seen as implying someone is stupid when I know it's not that at all & totally understand why it happens - so I never correct it making this incident feel really awkward & rude of me.

You're definitely overthinking it - I really don't think people see it that way as long as you're polite about it. In fact lots of people would feel really awkward and embarrassed if they'd been getting your name wrong over a long period of time.

Since I moved abroad I've had to get used to people pronouncing my name wrong (though right for their language rules). Does not bother me at all. I've even started to use their pronunciation when booking doctor appointments and suchlike, as it makes it easier to communicate.

Oh I totally am! It never happens long term though, cos if you're told it verbally there's no mistake, it's only if it's being read first & that doesn't happen socially :)

I don’t know, if it’s a GP or something with a set number of patients you’re likely to see over and over, a little note in the system about the name pronunciation doesn’t seem too onerous (admittedly never having been a GP).

Onviously an HCP who is likely to see everyone once or possibly years apart, that’s obviously unrealsitic and would fall into the second category of they are BU.

My patient base is half a million and I probably see somewhere around 10000 unique patients per year, even if I had encountered them before the chance of remembering is remote

Oh. Well screw them then!

Oh dear me, yes!!
IMO some are seriously verging on child abuse.

I have an unusual name and have been correcting people's pronounciation my entire life - not a problem. Most, if they're unsure, ask how to pronounce it first.

Only time I've had a problem was a video call with occupational health assessor, who continued to pronounce it incorrectly when I corrected her every time.

Two of my friends are Sara and Tanya (tan-ya)

It does surprise me that after a couple of decades, Sara still says Tarn-ya, as the Saras of this world are (reasonably enough!) very keen not to be pronounced as Sarah, and vice versa!