AIBU to except you to be reasonable if your child’s name could be pronounced different ways

[IncognitoPanda]

If you’ve given your child a name that could have multiple pronunciation's AIBU to expect you to understand when people pronounce it a different way to how you would when they don’t know the child. I’ve have seen three patients today where the parent has been grumpy / arsey because I didn’t know how they liked the name pronounced (think Kia (keeyah or k-eye-a) ? Surely that’s the risk you take when selecting a name with different ways of pronouncing it?

TurquoiseDress · Yesterday 22:58

Yep he must definitely have had a yoo-nique name!

Tsk! Everyone knows its Eweneak, FFS!

Anyway...

Virtually nobody pronounces my (Irish) first name correctly and it doesn't help that the same spelling in Scotland has a slightly different pronunciation. I'm 55 and have long since resigned myself to answering to entirely different names, if I think they're referring to me.

I usually correct people twice, then throw in the towel.

My name is rarely mispronounced but commonly misspelled. It's a common 1960s name with 2 different spellings, like Jane/Jayne. Imagine I'm Jayne.

I do often say 'that's Jayne with a y' but don't get upset or angry if people spell it Jane, though prefer it if people would ask the spelling. It only really bugs me if people I've known a long time spell it Jane. I've got a close friend I've known about 40 years who often addresses me as Jane on text. I'm a HCP too (nurse) and worked alongside a consultant for 10+years who kept calling me Jane in emails, even if she was responding to an email from me ending Regards, Jayne.

I interview a lot of people and always ask if I've pronounced names correctly, it's common courtesy.
My DD is called Tabitha and a teacher kept calling her Ta-bee-tha and she hated it, kept telling him, but he kept getting it wrong ... thankfully that was a one off

Tricky when you are calling them in for their appointment. Yelling out to the waiting room ‘How should I say K-I -A?’ Might be a bit insensitive and embarrassing for the patient.

That’s why I called my DD Ann*

As somebody who grew up with my name constantly being shortened/mispronounced/misspelled I wanted a name to make her life easier.

This. My maiden name and married name were/are uncommon, long and need spelling. Never right the first time. My first name is traditional but equally uncommon (Cressida genre) but based on the spelling should be pronounced correctly.

The pronounciation doesn't bother me. The comments do and it's usually nurses who make them and are, frankly, often rude. "What a funny name". "Where did that come from" "Unusual name, is it Irish?" and when I was a child I recall "Why did your mum call you that?".

Mispronounciation of my surnames has never much bothered me. Mispronounciation of my first name is irritating because there is almost always an imaginary letter inserted. However, it's the unnecessary comments that are unacceptable. I often wonder how they would land if I were not white but largely I think they are based in ignorance.

It is the principle reason our DC were given classic names with no spelling variants. Although to be fair mine has no variants either.

Me too. For instance, for years, I couldn’t pronounce Keanu Reeves name unless someone had just said it. Same with family friend who’s surname was Pross and I use to say Cross and not realise I had got it wrong. My family used to mock me which hasn’t helped. Unusual names or names from other countries that aren’t yet common here are hellish for me. I can’t remember them even after they’ve been pronounced to me. I can write French and understand it but can’t say it. It’s so stressful.

I'm so glad i have the most boring name on the planet there's only one way to say it 😊

Is that with or without an E? 😎

How would you feel if someone said 'oh I love that your name, it's so beautiful!' which I have done to Lucinda, Lalage and Greta.

Oh me too, I'm eternally grateful for my classic solid name and I gave the equivalents to my own kids.

You seriously expect a HCP to remember how to pronounce the name of every child they’ve seen? Wow.

@dogaredabomb that's fine. I can't say it's ever happened though and Lucinda would have been a much easier first name than mine.

I think it might be worth bearing in mind, however, that people's names are personal and if they are uncommon, the continual remarks became more than a little tedious.

I have an unusual spelt name for my child, it's a standard name with an ancient celtic spelling.
I fully expect peeople to not pronounce it correctly and for him to have to spell it out for people for the rest of his life.
Which I didn't think through properly, which is on me.
He can change it by depol later in life if he wants😂

Yes good point. I did meet someone called Tuesday and could tell they had been asked every question I had 15 million times.

In my job I see lots of “aspirational” spellings of perfectly nice names . I often wonder if the parents just can’t spell or if it’s intentional. I feel they are setting their child up for a lifetime of correcting everyone.

My surname is quite unusual, but easy to say. Written down, that’s how you say it.

The variations i get called always make me chuckle.
It begins with a J, but has been said with a hard G.
I’m used to it, and crucially, i don’t give a damn how people say it.

I’m Jill, but my mil often writes Gill, in birthday cards, etc.
I’m just grateful for the birthday card, so, I’d never make things awkward by correcting her.

Did anyone here used to watch the Swedish/Danish show The Bridge? The lead characters name was Saga and she was from Sweden. She pronounced her name “Sa-ga” as did her Swedish colleagues. But her Danish colleagues called her “Say-ga”
It was just accepted that was how they said it. It was never mentioned or acknowledged that it was being said differently. It just…. was. For the entire show. I’m assuming it’s because that’s how the Danish say that name.

See, I like it when people say stuff like that. I really like having an unusual name. It's kind of an ice breaker, people often ask about it's origin.

Now everyone wears a name badge. I think I might start to repeatedly pronounce their names incorrectly. Name Badge = Kate. I'll start saying "Hello Katie". I expect they'll say "my name's Kate not Katie, there's no i". I've said similar once or twice, "there's a second i, and no, not like the famous person". Cue the NHS eyeroll and do bear in mind this happens so often it's plain tedious.

I wonder if it will annoy them if I do the same and then eyeroll?

I've got a super common (well, it was super common when I was born! name.

Always pronounced the same way, never an issue. Until, about 5 years ago, another lady joined my workplace with the same name and a mangled pronunciation. She would kick right off if someone got it wrong. My workmates started calling me the crazy version too, I think they were too worried they'd accidently call her the right wrong name and she'd go mad.

Funnily enough, them randomly starting to call me the wrong name did not please me.

I also work with an Amy who has the phonetics of her name on her email signature - Ay-me.

Parents that call their child weird names only do it for attention anyway so I’m surprised they complain when they get it.
My surname can be spelt different ways I’m used to it.

Oh you’ll be surprised! My nephew is known as a version of a different name. For example think like Bobby/Robert or similar. He’s always been called “Bobby” in real life but his official birth certificate is Robert. His family always forgets his name if they call out Robert in waiting rooms! They’ve almost missed appointments because of it! Nephew hardly ever remembers his “real” name as he’s too young.

Not every unusual name is some sort of made up spelling though. It could just be a different spelling because of the country someone is from. I've seen people jump to sneering about unique spellings on the baby board when it's actually a Welsh spelling - Alys for Alice for example.