hate being referred to as 'girls'!

[maybabymaybe]

a straightforward AIBU and a question - does anyone else have a bad reaction to being referred to as 'girls' and if you did would you mention it? I'm talking about within a friendship group and it's not done with malice or to patronise.... But I'm a grown up mother, with a job, and many many hard, painful responsibilities and I feel I've earnt some wisdom and I don't miss being a girl or even a young woman! Would you tell friend this is how you feel or is it best to ignore?

I’ve told people at work that I don’t like it, but not friends, somehow that feels more awkward.

I really don’t care. Men at work are called the boys all the time

It depends on context. If an elderly lady said, "Let's go girls!" to a group of women much younger than her, I wouldn't mind.

If my mum said the same to her daughters, I wouldn't mind.

If a man said "Mind the language in front of the girls." I'd be pissed off.

I'm about to hit 60, when I message my various friends on WhatsApp, I refer to them as the gals, or girlies, and if I talk to others about my various friends groups, I refer to them as , ( for example) ,my antenatal girls. I'm not old enough to be referred to as a lady lol!!

For me, it depends on the context and who's doing it. I think within friendship groups I wouldn't mind - it's a bit of joke now we're all...er...mature. But at work or say, in a hobby group I'd bridle a bit.

In a broader sense I do find life in 2025 a bit of a minefield. People seem to object and take offence to so many forms of address - I sometimes think they're just trying to 'woker than thou' and competing to find something to get het up about.

Ladies, girls, guys, folks, people etc etc - I've seen indignant moans about them all on here. I don't mind most of the time as long as there's no intention to offend.

I never mind people calling me 'love' either!

I think it's weird to be bothered by this, it's not being used on any kind of bad way and you can't really police such petty things about how people chose to speak

I think girls should be only used referring to people up to 20 years old or women in their 70s plus who arrange card/ bring n share/ bingo nights

Depends on how much it bothered me. Women referring to other women within their friendship group as girls is very normal. It's not intended to patronise or infantalise, it's just something a lot of women do. It would need to really grate on me before I asked my friends to stop doing something so ordinary, because they will probably think its a bit weird of you and will forget and feel awkward.

Doesn’t bother me

It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest.

I’d let it go - it’s irritating on her part, but not unreasonable as it’s a common usage. Rise above!

Genuinely doesn't bother me but I think if it did, it would have to REALLY bother me for me to raise it with friends. If it's just mildly irritating to you and not meant in a condescending way or meant to upset or offend, I'd just accept that different people using different terminology for stuff and shrug it off.

Couldn't care less

I have a friend who does this. She’s the only one in our group who does it and it really grates. Everything is “thanks girls” or “have fun girls” etc. We are all professional women, mix of ages. It’s like nails on a blackboard. I don’t mind it in the abstract so much, like “girls night out” or something, but not when it’s directed at us specifically.
Friend is a primary school teacher and tends to say it in her teacher voice, so maybe it’s that .

Unless someone is deliberately trying to be patronising, I don't give a shit.

It really depends on the context. I don't object to the term "a girls' holiday" anymore than I'd worry about a "lads holiday/night out". To be honest it really doesn't bother me at all. I would if a man used it in a highly derogatory way but (although I've taken my fair share of shit from men) I've never actually encountered that.

There was a sitcom years ago called the golden girls, is that allowed?

I always refer to days out or holidays with female friends as "girls trips" and we're in our 60's. It would sound odd to say "ladies trip".

I don't mind.

I am currently trying to stop myself from saying 'girlypop', i think that would annoy you more 😄

Aren’t they just saying it because it’s a group of females so it’s a “girls night” or “hey girls, let’s go for lunch soon?” or similar?

It’s obviously not a reflection on you being a young carefree person, just a collective phrase for a group of female people….

I would just try and relax about it or seethe for a second alone and then shake it off - not worth mentioning it and having people fall over themselves to try and remember not to phrase messages in those terms etc/forgetting and then feeling guilty.

If it is said by a fellow woman in a way that is evidently meant to be friendly, I would ignore it personally

I wouldn’t bother with friends; at work I don’t accept it from men which is where it often seems to come from.

61 nearly 62. Couldn't care less. There are bigger things to worry about.

In friendship group no problem, in a professional environment said normally by older men describing the girl in the office etc I really hate. Call me young lady though at 45 flattery will get you everywhere.

I absolutely agree with you @maybabymaybeBut be prepared to hear that other women love it, don’t you have anything else to worry about, of course it’s perfectly usual to refer to groups of middle aged men as “boys”, that you’re a fun sponge, or even that you should take it as a compliment…