To cut these people out of my life?

[MangaMoo]

We have had a malicious report made to social services by family members making a sexual allegation about our 7 year old. Luckily SS saw this as the ridiculous and malicious allegation that it was but I can’t bring myself to have anything to do with the people who made this report now. I feel that if they can say things like this so sick and twisted they are a danger to my family. However, I am struggling with this decision a little too as they were people that I cared about and do have a strong belief in family and they are family too but I just can’t put my children at risk of any further such sick allegations- would you all do the same? Any thoughts or advice appreciated.

Why would want to have anything to do with malicious liars?

That's a truly awful thing to do.

Did they believe there was truth to their concerns, or was it completely fabricated?

You have to protect your child. You have to cut out this family member.

You need to keep these people out of your lives, as they may make further false allegations.

I was subject of malicious allegations from a disturbed family member, and the fact that he had not seen me or my children for years made it easier to social services and police to reject his later allegations.

JFC absolutely not. NC. What kind of malicious asshole does that!

Honestly I can’t imagine why you’re even considering being in touch with them

This kind of family you don't need.

Not only should you cut these horrendous people loose, you would be an unfit parent if you did not imo

What was their motive to make the complaint?
Are they your parents?

I am struggling with this decision a little too as they were people that I cared about and do have a strong belief in family and they are family too

Anyone making false reports to SS involving sexual allegations is abhorrent. The fact that they are related to you makes it even worse. There is only one course of action, and that is to protect your child/ren from them and cease all contact, and shut off their access to you and your children both in person and online.

And how do you know it was them?

Of course you should cut them off and also made everyone in your family aware of what they did...

On the face of it, I would not have anyone who'd made untrue allegations about my child in our lives at all. The fact that you are wavering about this makes me wonder if these were really allegations made maliciously or misguided but out of genuine concern?

No not parents - older teenage step-children

How do you know it was them ?

Step dc? Absolutely no need to see them or attempt to seek any logic or apology..

Ouch, tricky! And not a scenario I’d immediately considered

I think their parent seeing them alone has to be the solution for now? Are they receiving counselling? They are clearly very troubled…

Why would they do such a thing? Do they live with you part of the time? How do you know they were the ones who reported?

jeez. What did they say??

Quite hard to cut your husbands children off unless youre not actually with him anymore though.

Report them to the police for the malicious reports to ss. I know that this will cause fall out but you need a paper trail for when they make the next false allegations.
Make certain that these step kids are never in the same building as you or your dc.
I'm afraid this would be a relationship ender for me as they'd never set foot in my home again

It wasn’t an anonymous report, they gave their names - we have been having them 2 nights a week but now DH is going to stay at his parents the nights he has them as we don’t want to risk our 2 DC with further allegations - DH will not be cutting contact, just me and keeping our DC separate for safety

Sounds like the best solution to an absolutely horrible situation for now at least. Do you know what prompted such awful behaviour on their part?

Jealousy of my DC it seems and a high conflict BM encouraging them - she has even messaged us to say that if my DH had acted differently over a matter that the eldest SC raised then the complaint would never have been made so basically because they didn’t get their own way they have done this to punish us

Oh, love, this is terrible. You would be absolutely right to cut contact.

That's sounds like the best decision for now, absolutely. Obviously a malicious report of sexual abuse about their half-sibling made by two teenagers suggests some level of distress and turmoil with them, too, but that's for their parents to deal with now.

I can't decide from your post, OP, whether you're saying that your stepchildren's mother knew the report was purely malicious, and was aware of what they were doing at the time? Or that this is her retrospective rationalisation of their actions?

She knew. She is the main instigator of the SS report. The SC sulked about not getting their own way when they were with us but very briefly and then got on with things as normal and getting on nice with my DC for the next 24 hours they were with us. Then have gone home and spoken to BM and suddenly this allegation has been raised . She has MH issues and is not the most stable of people so seems she has fired it all up to cause trouble but has since admitted in a text message that if DH had done what SC1 wanted then they wouldn’t have made the report. As said, it is just to punish us.