Annoyed at partner for farting next to me

[redvelvet7]

Hi, I don’t know whether I’m just hormonal from being in third trimester or whether this is a bigger issue in my relationship. For the longest time my partner has known I don’t like farting, especially not right next to me. If it’s away from me then fine. Instead of acknowledging that, he actively tries to push them out when he’s near me. It’s disgusting. I’m at a stage in my pregnancy now where I’m really uncomfortable, not feeling myself and stuff like that tips me over the edge because it’s so disrespectful. last night he did it right next to me in bed deliberately and I left and slept in the spare room. Was trying to talk to him this morning and he did it again. There’s no respect or appreciation for my boundaries.

To add to my general annoyance with him he prioritises his mum and family members over me and the baby. We had his parents over at the weekend and he let his mum go on and on at me telling me what to do in the kitchen until I couldn’t cope with it anymore and was so overwhelmed. Instead of recognising her fault or that he should have said something, he thinks it’s all on me. I am more emotionally vulnerable now than I have been in my life and trying to stay stable each day is a challenge.

so anyway AIBU to expect some decent respect and not have to put up with that?

The lecture I went to about farting at uni was very interesting… men are bloody immature creatures. A decent fart for some men in badge honour… it’s gross.
The thing wouldn’t be that that would upset me it would be the letting his mum criticise your home, he needs to tell her to stop,

OP clearly states that she appreciates that farting is necessary but prefers some distance. Surely that's normal?

Anyone that's calling her ridiculous are you all genuinely unphased by your romantic partner behaving like Jimmy Kranky and finding his own farts hilarious? How about a dutch oven under the duvet, with him chortling like something out of Viz? Farting in the car and laughing? Boys will be boys eh.....

Yes we all fart. We all know this is a bodily function. However, we do not all look our partner dead in the eye and push one out next to them on purpose, then laugh. Or maybe you all do. Maybe it's me that's weird to find that a totally unattractive trait.

Farting in your personal space is disrespectful and you can clearly tell him. He holds the cards though as you're pregnant with his child and the ship has sailed on him having any incentive to be reasonable. Is his behavior indicative of general disrespect?

Easy fix with the farting, air freshener, everything he farts spray him, fabrese is the best I found as it sticks to the skin, how do I know? Hubby did it once and saw my reaction so did it again, got the air fresher, never did it again.
MiLs can be tricky my first one was a nightmare, the second one is brilliant, but I did learn to stand my ground after the first one! Stand your ground with her, if she won't listen walk away from her,until she does listen

Fart in his mouth. TRUST me, he won't do it EVER again.

Passion killer. This guy is a neanderthal

He sounds really immature and not just from farting. You're about to have a baby with what sounds like a man child. You have to nip this in the bud as it'll only escalate with lack of sleep once baby arrives.

Dont allow his mother to talk to you like that more so in your own home. He also needs to speak up.

This

Some people will be fine with it, some won’t! But you’ve told him no!

Are you ok? Because you sound so hostile over a fairly benign post that it seems like you are struggling personally

I would hate this too. Unless someone is ill, or it’s truly accidental, I find it truly disgusting. I cannot understand how people think it’s funny. It would be a dealbreaker, I’m afraid.

🙄

Personal boundaries - it doesn't matter whether some people here don't care about farting, the fact is that you've told your husband not to deliberately fart near to you and he ignores you. He's not respecting your boundaries and that's unacceptable. I'd be disgusted if anyone farted on purpose close to me. I'd tell him it's a passion killer and if he keeps doing it, your sex life will be over

As for MiL, just tell her! "Please leave my kitchen now because your constant telling me what to do is getting on my nerves."

You should have opened the door and told her to leave.

I'm fine ta.

Fed up of reading threads lately from women who've married or are living with Neanderthals with shitty parents who they clearly don't like.

Normalise not marrying awful men with shitty parents that you don't like.

wtf would you marry someone who thinks this shit is funny, and who has a horrible mother as well, because Newsflash, they won't change, they will get worse, and you're stuck with them until you grow your own balls and leave them.

People will take vastly different views on the farting but it's not relevant what other people think; he should respect your wishes and not fart next to you on purpose.

We have separate rooms but farting in same room as me downstairs is not acceptable , same as I don’t burp my stoma bag (which smells like death) in husbands vicinity. I hear him pumping away upstairs when I’m downstairs and it makes me laugh

Is this your first child? Because things are about to get a whole lot worse…..
I’d tell your MIL to get out of your kitchen (if you go over the top at her then blame it on the hormones).

Put a stink bomb in his car- see how he likes it.

Newsflash. Pregnancy is a common time for behaviour to deteriorate if it's going to, and it's clear that this farting on purpose to wind the pregnant OP up is a recent thing. If he'd farted on her on purpose on the first date, or even in the first few dates do you think she'd still be with him?

There are also plenty of people in healthy boundaried relationships who don't like their in laws, it's not mandatory to judge a suitable partner by their parents.

While we're normalising things, possibly we could normalise not blaming women's shit choices for their male partners' behaviour, like it's somehow her fault?

If you're fed up of reading threads to the point you are unable to stop projecting your own painful experience, maybe don't read the threads. Is your intention to make her feel stupid for her partners behaviour? Make it make sense.

God, this reminds me of when I was pregnant with my first and suffering from morning sickness. My now ex farted next to me and it was so bad that I ran to the toilet and projectile vomited, he found it utterly hilarious and didn't apologise, utter twat.

The farting is a non-issue really, I couldn't get worked up about that and I think you're being a bit precious. Deliberate farting is a bit infantile but you don't have to respond to it.

The issue is his lack of respect for you, him ignoring your boundaries and the lack of respect from his family.

I'd learn to pick your battles though: the family issue is something worth fighting over, the farting isn't. Don't squander your moral capital getting upset over something this trivial: save it for demanding some respect from him and his family.

The farting would really upset me. DH I know farts in front of our teenage sons and they all find it hilarious but none of them do it near me as they know I would hate it. This is basic stuff in a relationship surely.

and you can hold it in fgs. Or do you think people fart away loudly in offices for eight hours a day??

Reminds me of Austin Powers.

-How dare you fart before me?
-Sorry love, was it your turn?

Why have you decided that this was the man you’d like to create a family with?

Well, he’s got you pregnant and trapped now.
How easily can you leave?
Is there anything good about him?