Suns out, neighbours out!

[extremea]

Can anyone commiserate with me re neighbour noise?

I live in a detached house and really appreciate the months Of November to March. The rest of the year my neighbours seem to have every window and door open, radio on in the garden and shout-talk to each other. TBH I have become a little obsessed with it and am almost waiting for their noise every day, it’s a bit sad.

Luckily we don’t have neighbours like we did in our previous house although they’re not much better..old house was a semi, the lady and her daughter would a bang up and down the stairs, slam doors, smoke right by our back door and watch us out the back with the blinds angled down.

So yeah, if anyone wants a moan..this is your place!

@Neighboursnasty 5x small yapping dogs that are brought into the garden 3 days a day like clockwork and encouraged to bark as much as they can.

I have two different neighbours over the back of our house, both with yappy dogs.
When I have my conservatory doors open onto the garden, I swear one or the other dog heard me blink and started to bark. I often found myself creeping around my own garden!

After the last couple of summers I had had enough, so I found a YT reel of a dog barking, connected a blue tooth speaker and when either of the dogs started I put the speaker against my fence, and set 'Spike' off barking, they soon stopped.
I honestly believe the neighbours were 'dog deaf,' and didn't register their dogs were barking. They do now.

I feel your pain. Next door has been renovating for months whilst still living elsewhere. He smokes weed then drives 40 minutes home. I’m absolutely dreading him moving in. We tend to be outside in nice weather but I won’t cope with the stench and his workmen playing music. I feel some thrash metal coming on!

I agree. It's showing on MN too. At one time, everyone agreed how anti-social it was to play amplified music outside, but I've noticed posters saying that it's normal.

As for this: We have a bbq most evenings from april - oct and have the radio on. Not loud but i'm sure it could be heard a little.

Given how sound travels, it will be louder than the pp thinks, and BBQ smoke and smells on most evenings for 7 months?! TG my neighbours don't do this!

The walls are thin in my house and I've got very shouty middle class neighbours. The man whinges all day, the woman shouts at him & the kids and the dog yaps all day. You can hear them load the dishwasher & shouting at each other about who is picking up the kids.

I have an ND neighbour. Frequently have long conversations about things that that we (or other neighbours) do that annoy them. They cannot tolerate change of any kind and they get really upset. They are also super observant. With a barely furnished (hates clutter) house that echoes noises. They cannot internalise others point of view . On a good day they are lovely. On a bad day it’s takes my all not to them to do one. I do understand and we try to anticipate and prevent. Basically any change. Our shed security light (too bright) that only turns on if you are very near ie about 5 times a year when we use shed in Winter). Shed ruins the view (of our plants). Dog barks ( we work hard at keeping doors and windows closed where dog is and stop her as soon as is practicable).
Same neighbour used to frequently blast loud music (still does on occasions).
I understand but if you live in terraced house next to a family, in a city with high footfall and lots of rental properties there is going to be noise.

I love this! I had this with my next door neighbour when he wfh - booming work calls. Thankfully he's now retired and goes out a lot.

My other neighbour with the same wfh calls habit may or may not have retired and my nearest neighbour also booms out while making calls from the back bedroom, because people do. TG for the return to the office / hybrid!

I bet the same people who complain about hearing children playing out, complain about children being stuck on screens all the time.

I used to really struggle with neighbour noise and even lived quite remotely to rule it out.

However I've since moved to an estate and had a child and it just doesn't seem to bother me anymore. Possibly because I spend every waking minute busy with said child so relaxing in my garden doesn't happen.

I even quite enjoy nosing in on what other people are up to now. Particularly the dramatic house, 1 door down.

Agree with all you've said here

I am in a detached house and I have said on here before , we can hear kids next door thumping up the stairs.
The adults shout at each other
Come back late , shout at each other and slam car doors late at night and wake us up.
They get up early every day , sitting in the garden is an absolute nightmare.
On Sunday I stood at the shopping centre car park and it was quieter there than in my garden.
They do DIY all the time and have been pressure washing for 2 whole weekends.
Mainly it's the shouting late at night and waking us up is the worst bit.
I have spoken to them but it hasnt improved.
I know how stressful it is , it's like I am waiting for the noise .

You must live near me! I really, really hate my over the back neighbours, they have ruined every nice weekend for the last 20yrs. They are loud and vulgar and get smashed every sunny weekend starting from about 11am. They have a shitty hot tub that they sit in and cackle loudly. Last weekend they called my 16yr old a cunt and threw water from the hot tub over the fence just for playing football in our own garden. If you ever ask them to turn it down - say after midnight following 12hrs of relentless shit music, jet fuel bbq and appalling karaoke - you get an absolute barrage of abuse.

I actively despise them and pray daily that they will fuck off elsewhere. Why should a bit of peace and quiet and enjoyment of your own garden be something that only wealthy people get to have? Don't we all deserve that?

You are probably driving your neighbours bonkers with that kind of noise and it’s so selfish, you are fully aware of it and don’t give a shit. There is no excuse or reason to let kids shout and scream and after reading all these posts (and the many other threads about neighbours on here) and how much it impacts peoples mental health I don’t know how you can claim you would hate it if you annoyed people with the noise!

I am so careful when I post on mumsnet to always be respectful when I post and make sure I give a well balanced response, I know how easy it is for some people to be rude or insulting because it’s anonymous but I never want to be unpleasant. This is the first time I’ve ever felt I needed to call someone out and tell them they are 100% unreasonable with no excuses. Having children doesn’t give you the right to let them destroy other people’s peace and quiet when I’ve seen hundreds of posts where parents have actively parented their kids and told them off for screaming and shouting and brought them inside.

My neighbours have been making my life hell for 5 years, I’ve considered taking my own life it’s got that bad, they are unreasonable and unapproachable and it’s not possible for me to move.

I am neurodivergent and sensitive to noise so I made sure I live in a rural area with just 3 neighbouring houses, it used to be mainly adults and my house is surrounded by fields. It’s perfect for me in every way but during Covid a family of 5 moved into the two bed house next to mine with 3 noisy kids.

They screamed and shouted, trashed the gardens, put goal posts up and a huge pool and the adults blast music and smoke constantly. They smoke outside my windows and sit outside the front door next to mine the whole time they are at home. Instead of going into the back garden they sit outside the front and even BBQ in the front.

The dad is unhinged and I hear him screaming and shouting at his girlfriend and kids calling them “cunts, brats, twats etc..”
I regularly hear banging and shouting with the kids crying, he bangs on the walls and shouts at me for no reason. On the one occasion I approached him he threatened to “punch my lights out and smash up my car”.
He has grabbed hold of me before, shouts abuse through the walls and windows and hangs around my door when I’m alone at home to intimidate me.

I have had the police involved out of concern for his girlfriend and kids and myself, it was brushed off as he comes across as a super nice guy and I had no proof, his girlfriend denied everything which I imagine is out of fear. He hides who he is so well that no one really believes me unless they have been to my house and witnessed it.

I can’t afford to move and I’ve been in my house 15 years, I have been repeatedly told my neighbours were planning to move somewhere bigger so I’ve been waiting 5 years but I don’t think it’s ever going to happen.

Don’t underestimate how bad disruptive inconsiderate neighbours can be for your mental health. I’m aware you aren’t malicious like my neighbour and aren’t making noise deliberately but not being able to ever have peace and quiet enjoyment of your home is so hard. I wear loops of noise cancelling AirPods so often I get repeat ear infections, I’ve stopped using my garden and I’m on antidepressants and have panic attacks waiting for the noise to start.

If it’s within your control to ask your husband to be a bit quieter and more respectful and to bring your kids in if they scream or get them to keep the noise down then please do. I believe you do see yourselves as good people so now is the chance to show it.

I apologise if I’ve protected my situation a bit, I’m sure you are not trying to do anything intentionally like my neighbour, it just annoyed me how unconcerned and inconsiderate you seem towards your neighbours.

Excuse me? I did not even read your whole reply because 1) the implying that I don’t give a shit is extremely insulting!
2)kids are in school 5 days a week, noise is from 4-5:30 at most and weekends.
3) My post states that I do my best to remind myself and everyone else to keep it down! My neighbours probably hear me going “shhh!” My children ARE asked to come in when I feel its getting too much!
4) Our village is full of the sounds of children laughing/shouting etc not just our garden.
5) My children are well within their right to enjoy their back yard and play!
6) Neighbour on one side, his son has just bought a new sports car, massive revs at god knows what time he comes home waking my children up, keeps a sheep in his back yard that bleats at the most inconvenient of times.
7) Neighbours on the other side argue on the daily we can hear the screams and shouts and my children hear their swearing.
8) We are ALIVE and LIVING, part of being ALIVE includes noise, especially if you are a child. No where in my post suggests that it is excessive and we never blast music or swear etc on purpose!
9) how on earth can you cone to the conclusion that I am inconsiderate when I have literally said i get REALLY self conscious! Do you know how difficult it is to have two young children and have to constantly worry about upsetting people just because you are allowing them to play outside?!
I am sorry that you are going through what you are and it is obviously having a HUGE effect on you but you were extremely rude to me!

Our neighbours have six children between them, not always there at the same time but it sounded like they were all in the garden at the weekend. Add in three yapping terriers and it’s a lot of noise.

Thankfully our house is on a corner plot so we only have neighbours on one side. We plan to move in the next year and something I’m not prepared to compromise on is the position of the house, anything we buy must be on a corner. I don’t want noisy neighbours on both sides.

This! Ive literally had such a snooty reply and Im just thinking, Im sorry? My kids will play outside whilst they are alive and well!

Thank you! I hope @Persianpaws sees this! Imagine being so rude and inconsiderate towards a young family with happy laughing children living within normal hours! I cant quite believe the comment by him/her! What the hell am I supposed to do with my children? Cover their mouths with masking tape? Lock them in the house? Ban laughter? Stop them breathing? I am actually dumb-founded!

I would speak to the council and get a letter sent out. This is unacceptable.
you have a right to peace in your home.

@Persianpaws I am also extremely EXTREMLEY insulted that you are comparing me and my family to this:

“They screamed and shouted, trashed the gardens, put goal posts up and a huge pool and the adults blast music and smoke constantly. They smoke outside my windows and sit outside the front door next to mine the whole time they are at home. Instead of going into the back garden they sit outside the front and even BBQ in the front.
The dad is unhinged and I hear him screaming and shouting at his girlfriend and kids calling them “cunts, brats, twats etc..”
I regularly hear banging and shouting with the kids crying, he bangs on the walls and shouts at me for no reason. On the one occasion I approached him he threatened to “punch my lights out and smash up my car”.
He has grabbed hold of me before, shouts abuse through the walls and windows and hangs around my door when I’m alone at home to intimidate me.”

also your comment “I believe you do see yourselves as good people so now is the chance to show it.” We show it every single day thank you, given that we just had one neighbour knock on our door with a lasagna as a thank you for helping them so much recently and that they would be lost without us.

Please be more careful with your comments you can do some serious damage to some very innocent happy people.

Is she a single mum? If so, 3 under 5yrs must be rough.

If she’s not single, why are you assigning all the blame on her? Presumably the dad could help too?!

I doubt it

They probably very happy to hear the sounds of children enjoying the garden (although sounds like this OP and her kids spend most of the summer inside according to her follow up post)

they sound a friendly upbeat couple. And the Op is pissy that she hears him chatting with a neighbour as she’s getting her children in the car

Me too! Love it.

Even dog noise doesn’t irritate me too much when it’s diluted with the rest of the neighbourhood and I really don’t like dogs.

Maybe they hear you, you don’t know they don’t!

Omg I have found my people.
i agree with all the people saying it’s getting worse. I dont mind people garden noise - kids playing, chatting, etc - even noisy kids and balls etc. it’s the STUFF. It’s so oppressive: music, jet washers, ange grinders etc. Cars with stupidly loud music waiting and idling with the thudding going through your house. Next door have no kids and are obsessed with their garden in which they have killed everything and are constantly building new horrible structures and jet washing and playing music. He uses the front as a work yard and the back is like some horrible bar at a holiday resort you don’t want to go to. He smokes weed and blokes it up with his horrible noisy mate and his dog barks at me and me and my kids basically dont have a garden. It did not use to be like this. It’s literally depressing, I dread the sun, it makes me cry

Id literally hate to live next to you! Bbq smoke every night and the radio on?

I don't care about the sound of children playing, people chatting, lawn mowers etc but music (its always crappy music as well) eurgh.

The amount of intolerance for just other people living their lives nearby on this website astounds me.
The sheer range of things that people find 'grim' or which make them irate. It's an education but not in a good way.
Your neighbours sound like they are lonely or friendly or both OP. They've got the message you don't want to talk to them and all they're doing is talking to each other in their own house with the windows open. If they're older maybe they talk loudly because they're loosing their heating a bit.

you only need one dickhead and all the calmer people’s gardens are ruined for several houses along. It was lovely before he moved in but reading this, it feels like every set of 6 houses has got one, and 5 families suffering. I wish there was some way of making it less acceptable because it never used to be like this. It’s some crappy social media driven vision of a “good life” that involves endless power tools and loud music that makes for a horrible life for everyone who likes calm or bird song or just normal family sounds