Posting picture on facebook without my consent

Psychoticbreak · 19/05/2025 01:23

While I dont specifically understand your situation entirely you did tell them NOT to post anything and they posted your picture without the consent to do so so you are correct to be angry that your boundary has been crossed 100%.

Tbrh · 19/05/2025 02:30

Did they tag you? You can change your settings so you have to approve it before it can be posted (I think). Personally I'd deactivate my account saves this kind of bother entirely

Tourmalines · 19/05/2025 04:26

Tbrh · 19/05/2025 02:30

Did they tag you? You can change your settings so you have to approve it before it can be posted (I think). Personally I'd deactivate my account saves this kind of bother entirely

Don’t work that way in a story . And it disappears after 24 hours .

GeorgianaM · 19/05/2025 04:43

Why didn’t you on the day step aside when they took a group photo?

Springadorable · 19/05/2025 04:54

I think if you don't want to be in photos you don't go in group photos. I also think it depends how sensitive your work is - there's quite a big range of how pissed off someone you've been in contact with might be. Without more details this does sound quite diva-ish.

AliBaliBee1234 · 19/05/2025 05:01

I think if you want to be so strict about photos online then you need to just not be in them. It's part of life now. That being said, you did specifically ask and if they agreed YANBU.

There won't be any history of it nor will your name appear anywhere so how likely is it that anyone linked to your work would find it?

Octavia64 · 19/05/2025 05:19

I mean if you are an undercover police officer or similar then fair enough.

if you are a teacher or similar and are advised not to friend students and use your real name then it’s a bit of an over reaction.

JustMyView13 · 19/05/2025 05:47

You can add a setting to review all tags. So next time it’ll come to you for approval, and if you don’t approve, you won’t appear in the tag.
Your mum sounds toxic - presume she knows what job you do.
It’s so weird how people post everything on Facebook, I’ve never really understood it myself.

EdisinBurgh · 19/05/2025 05:48

JustMyView13 · 19/05/2025 05:47

You can add a setting to review all tags. So next time it’ll come to you for approval, and if you don’t approve, you won’t appear in the tag.
Your mum sounds toxic - presume she knows what job you do.
It’s so weird how people post everything on Facebook, I’ve never really understood it myself.

But even if you’re not tagged, widely available facial recognition software will identify you.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 19/05/2025 05:56

Thickasabrick89 · 18/05/2025 21:20

Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion i don't know.

I requested at the start of a weekend city break not to post any pictures of me on Facebook.

I mentioned it a few times throughout the trip to my brother not to. I don't give consent.

Tonight i noticed that he had put up a 'facebook' story and i am in a group picture.

I managed to get him to remove it immediately (although had been up for 5 hours).

My mum had explained he asked her first and she said do it as it is a nice family picture and will be up for only 24 hours as a result he put it up.

I'm feeling upset that my wishes were ignored. For reference we are in our 30s not 12 years old.

Whilst i shouldn't really have a reason as to why i don't want my pictures on fb etc. The main reason is for work as my job is sensitive. My profile is locked down, privatised and not used but I can't guarantee the same for close family and friends..

There is more. Such as my mum gaslighting me and saying I'm showing signs of a personality disorder and that i must be ashamed of my family for not wanting my picture up but not sure if relevant. I did offer to get it printed and framed as an alternative so she can see it every day which i felt was a fair compromise but no.

Reading it back it sounds like a stupid minor thing but has totally wound me up.

It's not stupid or minor if you're compromised after your brother's cloth eared behaviour...

I had to do similar on police advice, after working in child protection... I was involved in some serious cases with violent criminals..

No way would I want them finding me or my family.

I largely stopped being in pics for this reason.

My social media is locked down, I also use a different name

JustMyView13 · 19/05/2025 06:11

EdisinBurgh · 19/05/2025 05:48

But even if you’re not tagged, widely available facial recognition software will identify you.

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That is an excellent point.

MightAsWellBeGretel · 19/05/2025 06:26

JustMyView13 · 19/05/2025 06:11

That is an excellent point.

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Ridiculous. Who uses this?

I highly doubt the OP's line of work is so sensitive that a potential threat would be using this to track her her, otherwise she'd be more adept at swerving photos. She could find herself in tbe background of complete stranger's photos on this, otherwise.

Already, her being spotted is unlikely as it relies on contacts of her brother who actually saw the photo.

She may as well not go out on public, just in case she's seen!

Tessiebear2023 · 19/05/2025 06:26

I work for an Oxford college, when we have alumni events we have to be extremely careful about only taking photos of people who have consented. People have all sorts of reasons for mot wanting to be photographed for SM, but the main one is that they work for the MOD or secret service, and like you, they're not supposed to allow photos to be available on the Web.

All reasons for not wanting to be photographed are reasonable. But if it's been mandated by your employer, then of course you are being reasonable. Your family are in the wrong here.

nomoretreats · 19/05/2025 06:30

Why did you pose in the picture? If you have a blanket ban on not wanting anything on social media then don’t be in the picture. You want a family photo then take it on your own phone that you have as a keepsake but don’t stand in someone else’s photo then moan.

spoonbillstretford · 19/05/2025 06:31

Springadorable · 19/05/2025 04:54

I think if you don't want to be in photos you don't go in group photos. I also think it depends how sensitive your work is - there's quite a big range of how pissed off someone you've been in contact with might be. Without more details this does sound quite diva-ish.

Sounds more diva ish to post people's photos on social media when they have explicitly told you not to then moan about it when they pull you up on it.

Tessiebear2023 · 19/05/2025 06:33

EdisinBurgh · 19/05/2025 05:48

But even if you’re not tagged, widely available facial recognition software will identify you.

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Exactly if a person is in a sensitive job, such as for the MOD, secret service, or undercover police, they can be tracked in seconds if they allow photos to appear online. Which is why they are told not to do this. The op made a reasonable request, I think the family are absolutely in the wrong here.

spoonbillstretford · 19/05/2025 06:33

nomoretreats · 19/05/2025 06:30

Why did you pose in the picture? If you have a blanket ban on not wanting anything on social media then don’t be in the picture. You want a family photo then take it on your own phone that you have as a keepsake but don’t stand in someone else’s photo then moan.

Because people do actually take photos to keep for their own memories and to show other family, without posting them on social media. 🙄

Tessiebear2023 · 19/05/2025 06:36

nomoretreats · 19/05/2025 06:30

Why did you pose in the picture? If you have a blanket ban on not wanting anything on social media then don’t be in the picture. You want a family photo then take it on your own phone that you have as a keepsake but don’t stand in someone else’s photo then moan.

Because she should be able to trust her own family. But I guess that lesson has been learnt now. If my family did something like this after I requested them not to I'd be absolutely gutted, I wouldn't dream of doing something like that to one of my kids.

TooGoodToGoto · 19/05/2025 06:39

I agree don’t allow them to photograph you.

Tessiebear2023 · 19/05/2025 06:43

TooGoodToGoto · 19/05/2025 06:39

I agree don’t allow them to photograph you.

Well, she won't now will she? The problem is she should have been able to trust them to not do this one simple thing, it was a perfectly reasonable request. This wasn't an accident, it was deliberate, I just can't imagine a family doing this tbh, it's a massive breach of trust.

JustMyView13 · 19/05/2025 06:43

MightAsWellBeGretel · 19/05/2025 06:26

Ridiculous. Who uses this?

I highly doubt the OP's line of work is so sensitive that a potential threat would be using this to track her her, otherwise she'd be more adept at swerving photos. She could find herself in tbe background of complete stranger's photos on this, otherwise.

Already, her being spotted is unlikely as it relies on contacts of her brother who actually saw the photo.

She may as well not go out on public, just in case she's seen!

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Unclear on the point of your comment.

I suggested a work around, @EdisinBurgh found a floor in that idea.

We know nothing about OP’s line of work, and I don’t hold any statistics on the use of facial recognition (as I’m sure you don’t either).

There’s something in between staying locked up at home, and having your life plastered all over social media. I think OP can achieve this with a more understanding family around them.

TooGoodToGoto · 19/05/2025 06:44

Tessiebear2023 · 19/05/2025 06:43

Well, she won't now will she? The problem is she should have been able to trust them to not do this one simple thing, it was a perfectly reasonable request. This wasn't an accident, it was deliberate, I just can't imagine a family doing this tbh, it's a massive breach of trust.

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No she won’t will she, that’s why I said don’t allow them!

Flipslop · 19/05/2025 06:44

Oh my days! People saying don’t be in photos if you don’t want them shared online 😭
firstly, there are other reasons for taking photos than to share then online for mass consumption! Why is it not ok to just be in a family photo for the sake of having that memory captured for their own use.
secondly, kind of relating to the first point, OP clearly asked several times that the photos weren’t shared so it’s not ok when they were then shared!
sad reflection of the times we live in that the things we do seem more for show than for our own joy

nomoretreats · 19/05/2025 06:44

spoonbillstretford · 19/05/2025 06:33

Because people do actually take photos to keep for their own memories and to show other family, without posting them on social media. 🙄

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I agree hence the comment on taking it on her own phone. But why should the rest of the family not be allowed to share a photo on social media of them together? If one person has an issue then don’t be in the photo. It really isn’t that difficult.

I‘m also sceptical that it has anything to do with OP job. If there was even a hint of it being used she would never had stood in the picture.

Woodywoodpecker321 · 19/05/2025 06:45

Why did he ask your mum and not you if it's ok to post it? And why did your mum decide on your behalf? And then turn it around on you when you were upset? Sounds like my mum and brother!

I agree they should have respected your boundaries and feelings. Maybe going forward take the photo for family memories and suggest they take another without you in it for social media.