(TW SA) Husband Said He Could Make Me Homeless

[TheCoralMoose]

Ok. I have been married 23 years he is much older.

He has always been controlling but got much worse the last 9 years.

The other day he produced a daft sex toy a dildo thing inside a plastic cactus.
He stuck it up me said enjoy it i couldnt. He got angry and struck me across the face with it.
Always putting me down.
He hates my family i hardly see them since we married.
Forces me to socialise with his family he has 2 grown children.
He goes to a pub every night.
When i stood up to him today he said i can move out he owns the house.
I think my name is on the deeds but not certain.
I have been diagnosed with depression he says im lying trying to get attention from my doctor.
What can i do.

You speak to a solicitor. Are you in the UK? The home would be a marital asset after such a long marriage.

Call women's aid tomorrow and they'll help you make plans to leave this awful man. Doesn't matter if you're on the deeds in the UK you should get half the assets 💐 reconnect with your family x

I'm sorry to hear that your husband is still continuing to be abusive. You can contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for advice
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

Regardless of whose name the house is in its a marital asset so he either buys you out or it's sold and you get a share of the proceeds.

What he did is illegal. You can't go slapping people round the face with dildos or anything else and you can't go sticking things up people without consent. You could make a police report about those.

Contact Women's Aid too, they can help you with deciding whether it's best to try get him removed from the house (because clearly you two living together whilst it's sold isn't going to work, it's not safe for you) or whether it's best for you to go elsewhere. The national helpline can get very busy, especially at night with people who have to wait for their partner to be asleep before they can call. So it might be easier to call during the day while he's at work (you can call in sick yourself if necessary to be around, it's warranted in these circumstances) or call your local branch, which might be less busy, instead of the national helpline.

https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/land-registry

You can find out if your name is on the deeds via the official Land Registry website. It costs £7.

Have you contacted Womens Aid or NDAH since your last post. They can help you.

You have been given great advice numerous times on this topic. Consensus was to ltb and get some help for yourself. Did the tests from the dr come back? I hope you are ok.

You can:
Contact Womens Aid
Speak to a solicitor
File for divorce
Tell your family what's been happening
Call the police
Seek a women's shelter

Are you willing to do any of that though?

This sounds familiar, have you posted about him before op? If you have, you were given very helpful advice the first time round which you should act on.

If you're a new poster then it's bloody depressing to read another familiar tale concerning another poster.

1. see a solicitor 2) ring women’s aid 3) call your family and tell them what’s going on with your abusive Husband.

OP. You've posted before. The advice hasn't changed.

Contact Womens Aid and see a solicitor.

No he cannot make you homeless - the house is a marital asset and belongs to both of you. You really need to see a solicitor and get some proper legal advice. Please also contact Women's Aid, your husband is abusive and they will be able to offer you help and support. I would also try and reach out to your family, if you can.

Do you have an income? Is the mortgage paid off, and how much is the house worth? You can work out how much you would be entitled to in a divorce. Don’t let him anywhere near you again sexually after that, he can’t be trusted not to hurt you again.

He is not getting any better, you know that OP. Get your ducks in a row and leave. 1st stop, a good solicitor.

I think that’s actually a police matter.

You can register your interest in the house, you need to see a solicitor. More importantly, you need to leave. Do you have anywhere to go? Any savings?

You poor woman.
This is rape and you need to call Domestic abuse charities like Women's aid.

This is horrific domestic abuse.
They can help get you free legal aid if you report this to the police.
This is a sexual assault.

The house is a marital asset.
You need to seek help.
Go to your GP too.

We are here for you.

You’re not safe where you are, you need to leave. Do you have anyone to go to? You’ve been married a long time, so assuming you’re in the UK I’m pretty sure you have plenty of rights and he can’t turn you out with nothing.

You need to go to the police. Your husband has physically and sexually assaulted you.

If you went to the police he would be arrested and temporarily removed from the home.
If you then made a statement about the abuse and gave evidence such as texts, recordings etc, the police should issue a domestic violence prevention order. Those means he cannot approach you or go to the family home where you are for 28 days.
They could also give bail conditions to keep him away pending prosecution which would take a lot longer.
You have more chance of making him homeless due to the abuse, than him you.

You need to get out. Start by getting organised. Do you have access to any money? You can find somewhere to rent - and claim benefits if you aren’t working.

Sooner rather than later.

Do this. Enough is enough.

Hitting you with anything is abuse.
Forcing objects inside you is not only abuse, it is also potentially rape.

You need some help and you need it now. Please seek assistance from a domestic violence crisis centre - be sure to make the phone call when you know your partner isn't going to see you making that call. If you are scared of potential repercussions then also make the phone call from a public phone or borrow a friend's phone (or by yourself a prepaid phone that you can just add minutes to - in fact this would be a good thing to have anyway).

Wishing you the best of luck. If he hits you again or forces you to have sex again please call the police and get somewhere safe.

If you are married, it doesn’t matter who bought the house and whose name is on the deeds - both partners have an equal right to live in the home. He cannot throw you out. You would also likely have a right to some property if you get a divorce. He is lying to you.

You’ve posted about this man and his violent sexual abuse and coercive control of you many times and I don’t think there’s any advice anyone can give you that you haven’t been given already.

Call Women’s Aid. You need to get away from this man. He is a violent abuser who repeatedly rapes and sexually assaults you and he ought to be in prison, and frankly I would be going straight to the police. But if you can’t bring yourself to do that, at least do what everyone has told you repeatedly to do already and get advice from Women’s Aid or another domestic violence charity and start making steps to get away.

We're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Domestic Violence page.

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ