School's punishment of all boys in year 6

[htdt]

My son is in Year 6 and has done SATS this week, today was meant to be a fun day for them as they've finished all the papers.

But my son came back from school really upset as the teachers had separated the girls and boys and he says the girls got to do fun activities and given treats but the boys got told off and given a lesson on respect.

He's taken this badly and has said things like 'I must be bad because I'm a boy'.

It's such a shame because he's worked really hard and was otherwise enjoying SATS week, but now feels horrible about himself, the teachers who told them off and the girls getting rewarded when all the boys were punished.

I feel like I need to speak to the school next week and find out what's gone on and why. I also feel like making a complaint. But I'm not sure what they are going to do to make things better even if they did agree with me that it was not a great way to deal with some boy's bad behaviour and also very bad timing so should I just forget about it...?

It’s a massive issue. And each incoming year group in secondaries is worse than the year before. In all areas of behaviour. Primaries aren’t addressing it all and by the time they get to secondary a lot of the behaviours are embedded. And a relentless them from parents of just not knowing.

It is a completely different issue. Quite literally set out in law.

Why does there need to be a "sudden power shift"?

When I was at school there was a group of girls that would go round tripping up boys in younger years, holding their legs open and kicking them in the balls.

This according to you should have resulted in all girls being punished. But what generally happened was the girls got away with it and anyone that tried to stop them were verbally abused by them and reported to the teachers who then punished them.

There were also several sports courts in the school that were taken over (and protected by teachers) for the girls to play sports any boy that asked to join in was abused and often put in detention by the teachers.

I have no doubt that these won't be good enough for you, but whatever.

I think its really unfair to punish all of the boys for the actions of a few, Can't believe this sort of thing is happening still, it happened to me at school too, a group of the popular kids were messing about, the teacher frustrated and then punished the whole class by making stand us outside the class and telling us when we could go back into the class one by one, when she got to me I refused and said it was unfair she had did this to all of us, she made me stand outside or the rest of the lesson, that was 30 years ago.

If that's aimed at me, then I apologise if you are one of those teachers and my remark felt personal to you.

You do realise that the vast majority of primary kids don’t have phones until secondary and those who do are stuck on computer games so I’d love to know what you expect primary schools to do aside from the many other measures they are taking and work on with a whole host of areas that are added onto the curriculum.

That group of nasty girls should have been dealt with but no it’s not the same. I have no doubt they were pretty nasty to other girls too.
But it’s different because the power balance lies with the male sex.

@R3s3t You do realise you’re wrong? The average child gets their first phone between 9&11. That’s primary age. And that 27% have witnessed pornography before age 11. Again primary age.

And yet that doesn't mean that girls can't be sexist.

It kind of does though. Because at the end of the day boys still have the power.

Megifer · Today 07:59

Lazy teachers love a bit of collective punishment rather than having to do work to sort the issue out.
that wasn't cool

Take him out of school for the day soon and do something nice with him as his treat. I take Tadhg out the odd time when it's sunny, like this last week,

but no need to apologize, are we cool?

If you want to talk about laws-disability, sexuality and race are all protected by law. Bullying annd mean girl behaviour which is rife and can damage the education of others is very much punishable. Plenty of scope for girls to be collectively punished the same as boys- regardless of innocence or not.

Not all boys

I feel like I'm in a parallel universe here @Megifer we had our own slight disagreement & all this time there was 11 pages of rows 😆

No I’m not. Phones start to come in gradually during years 5/6 ready for high school. Kids are at primary school for 7 years and spend the majority of the time without phones. Yes they’re on far too many screens and there are issues but a lot is kid orientated and not phones. It all kicks off in year 7 when they’re suddenly handed phones to take to high school. So enough already with blaming primary schools for all the ills of the world.

I really don't think that teaching boys about respectful relationships with girls has to be about boys being bad.

They're not bad. But they are being raised in a culture where there some very bad role models out there, and unfortunately some very sexist men. So it's really important that they have positive guidance.

They need to be supported to become confident and secure young men. Knowing how to interact with girls is part of that. Boys and girls having respectful relationships with each other will only be a good thing for both of them in the long run. Unfortunately this is not something all boys will see at home.

Really

All a girl has to do in school is put on the water works and any power that the boys have is gone.

Ah you’re one of those.

Well the good news is your clueless about how social media impacts young people, when this starts, the impacts of peer group interaction and you think because mummy modelled inclusion they won’t be sexist so that all means yours are likely to not be not all boys.

Wow.

What a hideously reductive and misogynist comment.

Yea we're cool I've got no beef with you whatsoever.

I'm entitled to my opinion though which I stand by, but like I say I apologise (as you seemed to want, so bit odd you're saying no need to apologise) if it felt a bit personal for you.

“ oh you’re one of those”

Oh you mean somebody who disagrees with you. Do give over. Saying every single boy is sexist by default is frankly ridiculous and you’re just making yourself look silly.

Er no. The majority of kids get them between 9&11. Before they start secondary. Once they’re at secondary it’s too late. The work needs to be done with kids and parents before they get their phones. Not after. Secondary schools are doing their best but when kids are getting phones at 10, well we cannot time travel.

I have absolutely no time for anyone spouting the not all men nonsense.

And the writing off of all boys as inherently misogynistic and deserving of punishment isn’t hideous?