Women alone in london

[Motomum23]

So I'm taking my 13 year old daughter to London in August to see blackpink - she's excited - I'm looking forward to some 1 to 1 time with her. We live in rural Cornwall and my husband is convinced I ought to be packing pepper spray and an attack alarm for our 1 evening using the tubes.... please someone tell me he's being absurd and plenty of women traverse London alone these days - my sister went to King's and I'd often visit her by train and we would enjoy ourselves in the city when I was 15 but apparently I'm insane because now its so much more dangerous!!!!

I suspect that London is more safer than some rural areas

What does he imagine that all the girls who attend schools in central London (eg City of London School for girls near Barbican, one of London’s big private schools) do? They get the tube or bus to school like everyone else. And you are likely going to be in tourist areas and very central. You MIGHT be a victim of a crime like phone snatching if you wander round with your phone held loosely in your hand, but there is absolutely no chance you will be attacked. Everywhere you go will be thriving and busy and well-lit, with open restaurants and upmarket pubs serving city workers and tourists all around you.

As a women who lives in London and works in central London, I’m another one saying it will be totally fine.

Your DH‘s suggestion would be like me saying that if I go to visit rural Cornwall I’d better take pepper spray in case I’m attacked in one of those quiet country lanes or villages with no one around!

And you survived without your illegal weapon though?

Op the only thing i got from your post is you and your daughter are going to see Blackpink.
I would say im jealous but im going too and im going alone just me i dont have any fear of going.
Just look out for a hippy in the crowd that will be me lol.

I've been going to London on my own for many, many years. With a little bit of common sense, it's absolutely fine.

How silly! Lived in London for over 20 years, no problems and no one was ever rude to me. Moved to a small coastal town and within a month a man told me to fuck off (because I’d politely asked him to call off his dog).

I don’t care if it’s illegal, I’d use it against a rapist if I had some.

is this sarcasm?

You'll probably be able to pick me out of the crowd as the one that looks like a dead in headlights... almost 40 and I've never been to a concert - only one I ever wanted to go to was Hanson but they wouldn't let me out of boarding school :(

Been visiting London a lot lately and both my kids have attended courses there (youngest is 17, travelled on train and walked all around Westminster and Covent Garden alone). He, his sister (20) and girlfriend (also 17) are going up to a concert at the 02 on Monday night. Dad may hang out in London/work late just in case they need anything, but they will be alone. I have been taken aback by just how safe it feels compared to 20 years ago when I used to live/work there. In fact, there is more chance of being a victim of crime in my leafy corner of Surrey having walked in on a burglary in progress last year.

You will be totally fine. Have a great time!

Age is nothing op im 39 and got tickets for the upcoming stray kids concert as well lol.
I have no kids either.
Go and have fun your daughter will never forget it.

I live in london.
I got sexually assaulted on the tube in the middle of the day. However it was once in nearly 50 years of travelling daily on public transport around london, oftrn alone and many times late at night. It is very rare but still can happen, but same as anywhere, same thing can hapoen anywhere in the world.
You will be safe together too. The weirdos tend to pick off people alone, I was the only person in a tube tunnel with a man who stopped to ask me a question then groped me.

Never felt remotely threatened. On my own or with my DD. Lived here 25yrs.

You take the same precautions you would in any unfamiliar city.

Looks like my niece telling me I am so “out of it” is true - I have never HEARD of BlackPink! 😂

Pepper spray is like mace - an irritant to spray in the eyes of an attacker, though it seems unlikely to me that in such circumstances you'd be able to aim so accurately; probably equally likely to spray yourself. Also it's illegal to buy / carry it. An attack alarm (legal, obvs) is a thing where you press a button or pull a pin and it makes a very loud noise which hopefully attracts attention or spooks the attacker enough that they run. Not a bad idea in theory, but again, are you really going to be able to get it out, press the button etc? You'd probably be too busy using your hands to try to defend yourself and your child.

But you don't need either. Just be careful with your phone (snatching of phones does happen), stand well back from the edge of the tube platforms as trains come in (accidents happen) and be aware of your valuables and have a bag that you can wear cross-body and hold in front of you in crowded areas (pickpockets exist). Violence is very uncommon; some scrote trying to sneak a hand into your bag while you're distracted by the sights is a lot more likely (though still not very), so just keep your wits about you and you're fine. Have fun!

I amliterally a woman on my own in London righr now. I am fine.

Take cross body zip up bags, wear comfy shoes and be prepared for Wembley and the surrounding area to be busy. You'll be fine.

Living adjacent to Cornwall myself - I'd say that most women everywhere in the UK need to be able to face down and deal with male aggression. And big lips and painted on eyebrows do go a long way in being a bit scary to a lot of men - I note - but doesn't really cut the mustard.

For London, just keep your phones away (get a paper map that you rarely take out) and your money close. Cornwall and elsewhere, you just need to face them down or get your DH onto them instead; usually you don't run the risk of getting stabbed....

Is Cornwall particularly dangerous, then?

Pepper spray is illegal. I take my two girls to London by myself every year. I’ve not felt anymore unsafe than I do in my home city. We’re obvious tourists as well usually carrying backpacks and trying to work out where we need to be and it’s never been an issue.

‘According the Crime Survey for England and Wales, someone is actually less likely to be a victim of crime in London than they are across the country as a whole. In the capital, 14.9% of people experienced a crime either to their person or their household in the year ending September 2023, compared with 15.7% nationally.’

This is actually really interesting - thank you.

Not sure what your voting means but take the same precautions as you would in any other city. Beware of pickpockets, and keep your phone safe when out on the streets. I’ve been living and working in London for the past 25 years and have only encountered pickpockets. You’ll have the odd weirdo, more so late at night but I don’t worry about taking my 2 daughters up to London for days out

@Annascaul, no more than anywhere else, probably safer as it's so far away from the rest of the UK.

But there's angry men everywhere, more so in economically-deprived regions like Cornwall (and the bit of NW Devon where I live) at least the bits that haven't been bought up, yet, that forces men into a ghetto of thought. The old patriarchy of being the bread-winner, even on lower pay, has gone. And replaced by the missus having to work in the local care home to get the bills paid instead.

And they might have to wash their own underpants and cook the odd meal - the menfolk are getting angry.

I'm an observer of social change - and I notice these things.

The most important thing is please don't pass any of these fears on to your DD. The most debilitating thing is to be brought up to be scared. Teach her that most people are lovely, shit things can happen anywhere but they are rare. Please protect her from your DH giving her anxiety.