My 13-year-old daughter has recently gotten absolutely obsessed with cycling. Not just little rides around the park — I mean serious, Tour de France energy. She’s mapped out a 25-mile loop she does every Saturday morning and has started doing longer ones during the school holidays. Think 40 miles and up.
She saves her pocket money for energy bars and bike bits, tracks her rides on a website for it, and uses cycling forums in her spare time. Honestly, I think it’s brilliant. It’s active, healthy, keeps her off screens, and gives her a sense of purpose.
She always tells me her route, brings her phone, wears proper gear (helmet, hi-vis, etc), and I’ve taught her how to fix a puncture. She’s very level-headed for her age and knows how to call for help. I do sometimes drive out to meet her for a snack break if she’s going really far. So no, I’m not wringing my hands every time she sets off. She’s not out gallivanting in the dark or on motorways — it's country lanes and cycle paths mostly.
Enter my sister. She came to stay with us for a few days over Easter and nearly blew a gasket when DD came downstairs in full cycling kit at 8am and announced she’d be “back by 1, might do the longer loop.” My sister lost it — said I was being completely irresponsible, that no 13-year-old should be that far from home alone, that she was going to get kidnapped, hit by a car, or worse. I tried to explain she’s been doing this for months, and she’s never once had an issue. DD is careful, plans her routes meticulously, and checks in regularly.
It all escalated when my daughter got back later than usual one day — by about 25 minutes, because she stopped to help an older couple fix a dropped chain on their tandem. When she got back, my sister was practically shaking with rage, said she’d been “out of her mind” with worry, and accused me of being
“negligent beyond belief.” DD was confused and a bit embarrassed, and I had to calm everyone down. I honestly think my sister just doesn’t get it — she’s very risk-averse and tends to think the world is a lot more dangerous than it is.
Now she’s been texting me articles about teenage abductions, road traffic stats, and even suggested I “have her evaluated” because “this level of obsession with exercise isn’t normal.” I just think it’s a hobby. Kids her age get into gaming or makeup or horses — why not cycling? Sure, she’s intense about it, but she’s not starving herself or pushing her body beyond limits. She’s just really passionate about riding and seems genuinely happy.
I did have a chat with DD and asked if she ever felt like she was overdoing it, or if she was feeling pressured to ride all the time. She just looked confused and said it’s the best part of her week — like meditation, but faster. I can’t see the harm. She’s eating well, doing fine in school, and even managed to convince a few of her classmates to join her for shorter rides. It’s turned into a bit of a social thing too.
AIBU to live and let live?