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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend ignoring texts

106 replies

Atlas2022 · 15/05/2025 14:44

Completely happy to be told I'm being unreasonable but would this bother you..
Been with new DP for several months and we talk almost every lunchtime, which is fine. Today I hadn't heard from him 30 mins into his break so I gave him a call. He didn't answer. Fine, I assume he's doing his hobby which he sometimes does at lunch. I text him saying nothing important, hope he's having a lovely day and I love him and I'll see him tonight. (We don't live together)
Anyway, he calls me for 10 mins before his break ends and he has been doing the hobby so all good. We speak and say see you tonight etc. After, I notice that he has read the 'nothing important ' text but not reacted to it at all. I just feel like I would never do that! I would never not acknowledge a message he sent me or anything, even silly memes I respond to.
OK, after writing this down I realise it sounds crazy! 😅 but would it upset you having the text ignored??

OP posts:
babystarsandmoon · 15/05/2025 15:02

Relax or he will feel suffocated.

FOJN · 15/05/2025 15:04

Your relationship won't last long if you don't sort out your unreasonable level of neediness.

Delphiniumandlupins · 15/05/2025 15:05

Do you end phone calls with
"You hang up"
"No, you hang up"
"No, you hang up"
.................?

Humanswarm · 15/05/2025 15:10

It's not funny though is it? ' You saved his evening 🤣'. So, strangers had to talk you down on the Internet or you would have given him a hard time later for not 'hearting' a message?? I know what you said there was tongue in cheek, but imagine the uproar, if a females posted on here that her partner kicked off last night all because she didn't respond to a text, despite having a phone call?
Your relationship will turn toxic if you can't get past shit like this. And frankly, he deserves better. And don't blame peri..that's bonkers.

Maddy70 · 15/05/2025 15:15

You sound the stuff of nightmares. If he were my son I'd be advising him to run for the hills. ;) do you always over analyse everything?

riverislanjeans · 15/05/2025 15:17

He did react, he called you? 🙄

MoominMai · 15/05/2025 15:22

Henbags · 15/05/2025 15:01

Wow, just wow.

The fact that someone over 15 even had this thought, never mind posted a formal AIBU poll! 😅🤯

mumda · 15/05/2025 15:24
  1. He's a BF not a DP.
  2. Put the phone down.
WillTheSHTFsoon · 15/05/2025 15:27

That poor man.

RealEagle · 15/05/2025 15:31

What is it with people nowadays just because someone dos not reply to a text within a certain time .

Original poster
Atlas2022 · 15/05/2025 15:33

Haha thanks guys! I'm happy to hear others perspective, I'm glad that no one else thinks he's being rude.
For what it's worth, I wouldn't have really said anything.. the saving his night was a joke! But yeah some of you are so serious!

OP posts:
Original poster
Atlas2022 · 15/05/2025 15:34

WillTheSHTFsoon · 15/05/2025 15:27

That poor man.

Dear lord. I haven't even said anything to him?! Nor was I going to! 🤣

OP posts:
Kbroughton · 15/05/2025 15:34

I think its amazing that you have been together for a few months but speaking every lunch time! I have been with my partner for three years and we have never spoken every lunch time when I am at work. That would drive me mad. But yes, you are being very unreasonable and if you have genuinely never been like this before and it is Peri, you need to address that. Are you on HRT?

RosaMoline · 15/05/2025 15:35

2% think you’re not unreasonable! 😳
I don’t think people in relationships in today’s day and age can appreciate the struggle of my generation. Way before mobiles, we had to wait by a landline phone, staring at it, willing it to ring…and when it did it was ‘mummmmm I’ll get it!!’ only to be disappointed when it wasn’t your beloved after all 😭

CitizenofMoronia · 15/05/2025 15:36

I generally block anyone who messages me at work, cos I'm AT WORK! You'd be in the bin months ago.

Original poster
Atlas2022 · 15/05/2025 15:36

Kbroughton · 15/05/2025 15:34

I think its amazing that you have been together for a few months but speaking every lunch time! I have been with my partner for three years and we have never spoken every lunch time when I am at work. That would drive me mad. But yes, you are being very unreasonable and if you have genuinely never been like this before and it is Peri, you need to address that. Are you on HRT?

No not on HRT, feeling a bit nervous about starting it?!!
But saying that the anxiety and paranoia can be quite bad during the cycles so maybe it's time!

OP posts:
MummaMummaMumma · 15/05/2025 15:38

Peri? I assumed you were very young!
Honestly, you sound hard work. He's not ignoring your text, he literally called you.

RosaMoline · 15/05/2025 15:38

Atlas2022 · 15/05/2025 15:33

Haha thanks guys! I'm happy to hear others perspective, I'm glad that no one else thinks he's being rude.
For what it's worth, I wouldn't have really said anything.. the saving his night was a joke! But yeah some of you are so serious!

So it was a joke after all was it? Interesting to see you’re backtracking now that MNetters have told you you’re BVU.

Original poster
Atlas2022 · 15/05/2025 15:38

RosaMoline · 15/05/2025 15:35

2% think you’re not unreasonable! 😳
I don’t think people in relationships in today’s day and age can appreciate the struggle of my generation. Way before mobiles, we had to wait by a landline phone, staring at it, willing it to ring…and when it did it was ‘mummmmm I’ll get it!!’ only to be disappointed when it wasn’t your beloved after all 😭

I'm old enough to remember all that 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Atlas2022 · 15/05/2025 15:39

RosaMoline · 15/05/2025 15:38

So it was a joke after all was it? Interesting to see you’re backtracking now that MNetters have told you you’re BVU.

Show quote history

No need to backtrack, and I shouldn't feel the need to explain myself but anyway. Have a good day!

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 15/05/2025 15:39

You are a Stage IV clinger only a few months into this.

He called you on the phone! He's at work! But you still want him to respond to unimportant texts.

You are being wildly unreasonable. 🙄

2024onwardsandup · 15/05/2025 15:40

insane

Kbroughton · 15/05/2025 15:40

Atlas2022 · 15/05/2025 15:36

No not on HRT, feeling a bit nervous about starting it?!!
But saying that the anxiety and paranoia can be quite bad during the cycles so maybe it's time!

Show quote history

Go for it. I was diagnosed with ADHD during peri! It was always there obviously and looking back I can see signs from when I was very young, but Peri made all the 'masked' symptoms come to the fore. HRT has really helped. If you have no history of breast cancer then there is no reason not to (in my opinion) and it has been very helpful to me.

ForOliveMember · 15/05/2025 15:40

Yes you sound bat shit crazy, pathetic really, to be blunt.

TheShadowOfTheWizard · 15/05/2025 15:42

Atlas2022 · 15/05/2025 14:46

For context, I feel like he should have at least 'heart' reacted it or sent some kisses faces 😅
Do I sound mad though?? I'm Peri so feeling completely unhinged now and again.

Yes you do. Sorry

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