AIBU to go on holiday without toddler

[10thlittlemonkey]

I was thinking of booking a short all inclusive break (3-4 days) with my partner and leave my 2.5year old with my parents. She has had a few sleepovers with my parents and has recently had a 2night sleepover which was uneventful, but she was quite unsettled with her behaviour when she came home- thinking maybe a bit of built up emotion but could also have been just normal unpredictable toddler stuff!
I was talking about this with a colleague and they suggested that they would NEVER have their child miss out on the experience of a holiday and as a working parent, it is most important to prioritise time together as a family. Whilst I agree with this sentiment and do love our time together as a family- I am just really craving some relaxing pool days and being able to have an few days of uninterrupted food and rest.
AIBU for considering this?

I never directed that at you. It was at a poster who literally said ‘holidays with toddlers aren’t fun’. If you read my earlier post on page 1 I am actually in support of you.

Tbh toddlers are a nightmare to go on holidays with! Especially 2 year olds! I would say go for it as a couple and maybe book a holiday for next year when dc is 3.5! They won't remember or be appreciative of a holiday at this age either. They are just as happy going to the local beach for a few hours and back to their normal routine.

I don't know why you're chipping in when the only person who can answer my question is @savysaver23.

I have done this and continue to do it now my kids are older, 13 & 10. A break away is very important. Our children get lots of holidays too though. I think its great for parents to get away and just be a couple. I dont just mean intimacy, stuff like choosing a restaurant you woukd like rather than what caters best to kids, not deal with constant sun cream application, read a book in peace etc et

I like taking my kids on holiday. It's why I had them... to spend time with them.

I love taking my kids on holiday too.

I also enjoy holidays without them. 😀

I’m lucky I can afford to do both.

@IButtleSir

I just checked and pp had already confirmed that she never said she left them at 6 months for 2 weeks.

Same! I spend plenty of time with my DS even though I work. 3 hours before school, about 5 after school and the weekends. He is generally either with me and DH, at school or asleep.

Go for it, sounds brilliant. And lucky you for having Grandparents who can and want to do this.

Do it. Dh and I have always made time for our relationship which includes ‘date’ nights or weekends away. Dd has been happy with family. It’s very much the norm in my circle.

We did this! 5 nights away when little one was 2 and a bit. It was fine, she was happy on the whole but did have some late nights where she asked for us. I think my parents struggled though, just with not being used to the disturbed nights and carrying a toddler around etc, our little one is very high energy so my parents were just a bit exhausted at the end of it. The break came at a good time for us and it was nice to get some time to ourselves to recoup and talk about what we wanted to do in life. Had a week or two of late nights before getting back into her normal routine when we got back.

Probably would've been easier on my parents and her if she was a bit older, but overall no big issues.

i did mean I left my 2 year old for 14 nights to go to the USA, although just checked and it was 12 days. We have also taken them to the USA and on abroad holidays since they were 3. They never get left out unless they now ask not to come although now nanny is not a great substitute as she is not cool enough. Children are easily adaptable. Especially when they are younger and not so set in their ways. I am actually leaving them again next year for a week they are not happy but they are 10,11 & 15 now so will have to live with it

My mum and dad took regular holidays to Benidorm with a group of friends in the 70's and us three kid stayed at both set of grandparents . This went on for years.
I went away with my friends for a long weekend when ds1 was 2 and often went away with dh from when ds was about 18 months. Ds absolutely loved staying with his nan and grandad and has a great relationship with them even though they live miles away from him.
The children had several holidays a year so they didn't 'miss out'
Holidays with partners have a different vibe from family holidays so it's nice just to 'adult' and be careful free for a week.

we also haven’t been away as a couple since they were around 7 so this is a much needed break

I had plenty of breaks without my DC, it hasn’t done them any harm.

My parents used to do one family holiday a year, kids included and one couples break a year (2-4 days) We got to hang out with our lovely Grandparents, so we weren’t bothered in the slightest. We got excited as it meant we were about to be in for some serious fun!

Its not selfish of you at all. You’re still an individual and you’re still a couple, not just mum & dad

As a grandmother I would find it too much and frankly unreasonable. Your parents would probably say yes but would mean no. Enjoy the odd day at home instead and don't have any more children if you find you need so many breaks from the one you have.

I don’t think you can speak on behalf of all grandparents.

Well I know for a fact mine are happy to have them as they are paying for us to go. I know not everyone would be happy but I have faith they are as they are paying. They have just done it for my sister too

Go, enjoy the break.

Plenty also say yes and mean yes.

Both my parents and DH's parents are constantly asking to have our DC's, I doubt they would be constantly asking if they didn't actually want them. They've had them for overnights, weekends, long weekends and next month will be a week split between both sets of Grandparents.

They are beside themselves with excitement and were jokingly fighting about who would have them for more days.

Grandmothers like everyone vary in ability. I’m sure OP is sure of her parents capability!

Me? I’d be fine.

Do it!

After a gruelling 12 month separation, caused by a military deployment, my DH & I went abroad, left our 3 year old with my parents for 3 weeks. She loved it. They loved it! That 3 yr old is now 18 & can't remember mum & dad going away without her! If you can, absolutely take advantage of the opportunity.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. There is nothing wrong with wanting some child free time and I have been away and left my DC for a few nights with grandparents. My DC love their grandparents and get truly spoilt when they are there. They are older now but still love going round to see them and in fact they are going away for a few nights with them later this year as I can’t get time off work.

it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks though - it’s what you think that matters. I would never have left my DC in a crèche/kids club abroad whereas other people are happy to. It doesn’t mean I’m right and they’re wrong or vice versa - people are happy with different things. If you want to and know that your DC will be happy without you then go and enjoy!

As a grandmother I would find it too much and frankly unreasonable. Your parents would probably say yes but would mean no. Enjoy the odd day at home instead and don't have any more children if you find you need so many breaks from the one you have.

What a load of nonsense!

YOU may find it too much but many grandparents love having the grand kids over.Not all grandparents are old and tired.
My nan told me when I was 19 that she missed the days when I would stay at hers when my mum.and dad went way. She did it for about 15 years.
My mum said she is glad she's not looking after my kids now she is old and wouldnt have the energy to look after a todfler sny more. She is 84. She was in her 50s when che helped out.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having one to one time with your partner if time/ finances and child minding availability allow.