I don’t feel like my kids are thriving right now

[guh]

They’re 3 and 5. My 5 year old is in reception and my little one is at nursery.

there’s a lot of crying and screaming going on and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

they seem utterly shattered. I pick them up after nursery and school at 3 pm. I try to get them to bed by 7:30-8 pm. They get up at 7.

I am trying to feed them nutritious meals, although that’s a challenge sometimes.

what else can I do ? They just seem so frazzled, always complaining and crying and screaming. I’m not sure if I’ve just had a bad day or what, but I just don’t feel like they’re happy at the moment.

Are they over/under stimulated when they’re awake and at home?

It sounds like they're doing loads to the point of exhaustion. Maybe try a low sensory downtime when they get back?

I would consider trying a 7pm bedtime and seeing if that makes any difference.

Edit: Sorry, I've just seen your update and realised you've already decided to do that! Good plan to cut out sugary snacks, too- it turns some kids into little demons.

I think someone mentioned a developmental period. Maria Montessori talked about sensitive periods - when the child needs to work on a specific skill or task. Being attentive to what that might be , often they will show you with their interest.

the other thing, and I know this is not popular, but it may just be unnatural for children to be in school at that age. I know that my older 2 stayed home with me and they never had tantrums or any of the stress I deal with in my younger who is at preschool now. They were thriving whereas the younger is always anxious or irritable. I just think young children are meant to stay home although some personalities adapt better than others.

My little boy is like this after Nursey. I've just started reading to him when he came home. It made a difference once and then not the following night. I'll keep trying though. It's so hard and makes me feel guilty for leaving him!

Search in old bookshops for a copy of Dr Spock.

There are copies on eBay.

7 30pm/8pm might be too late a bedtime. When mine were reception they had to be in bed lights out by 6.30 or they were quite frankly a bit broken

For everyone saying dinner at 5pm... are you all sahp? My partner and I don't finish work until 5.30pm... it's literally impossible to get home and get dinner on the table before 6pm at v earliest. So bedtime is rarely before 7.30/8pm

When mine were this age i changed my working hours. Dh dropped off in the morning and i went to work early so i could leave at 4. The childminder gave DS dinner and i picked up by 5.15, or i would have slowcooker meals waiting to eat as soon as we got home. Id have him in the bath before 6pm, out by 6.15 and then stories and bed. He needed the sleep

So glad you had a better day. 0P, that’s great. With mine we used to have dinner around 5ish and then they be allowed to watch some telly between 5:45- 6:30pm. Same things every evening, IgglePiggle was wonderful. Brush teeth, bed time story, lights out at 7pm. Same routine night after night for years. It helped them know exactly what was coming.

Also no sugar highs after school is great. I used to do bananas, peanut butter on crackers, baby bels, raisins, that sort of thing. No chocolate or biscuits. No sweets. No sugary drinks.Never! It really doesn’t help to have a sugar high and then a crash. Give them a bit of protein like cheese or nut butters and then the carbs, helps slow down the sugar entry. I also used to give them yogurt pouches. Not sure if they still do them. That was stabilising too. Yes some sugar in the yogurt but there’s some fat and protein to slow down the sugar entry. Completely different to a chocolate bar. I did sometimes did mini cheddars or hula hoops as a treat.

You could try games like ''Simon Says'' or simple yoga, see how long they can stand on one leg, for example.

They need distracting - physically. Make a kite on a windy day and fly it in the yard or park. Things like that use up excessive energy. Mind you, it takes three adults to grow tired before two kids will, so rope in help if you have it.

Let them help with making tea, give them some wind down time play a game or hide and seek or set challenges maybe for them to hunt for items outside. What about tea outside . My grandkids made pizza for tea then walked to IKEA for a a walk round in PJs which they love for some reason .