To stop my son from presenting as Jewish at school

[Wonderberry]

I really wish this wasn't the case.

My son wants to wear his kippah (skullcap) at school. This is entirely his choice, and something that he has chosen to start wearing recently. He just wants to express his religious and cultural background.

Unfortunately, I don't feel like he would be safe to do so. I hate that this is where we are at currently in the UK, but I know it is the reality. He goes to a community school in London, and doesn't understand why he cannot wear his kippah at school. On cultural days, he also cannot share his culture either.

I live and work/exist in those parts of London and I still don't wear my star of david out and about these days. I work for a Jewish organisation as well, we have full-on security outside.

France is one of the most racist countries, so that's BS for a start.

Is it?

I just think people really fucking hate Jews and if they couldn’t blame them for Gaza they’d sure as hell blame them something somewhere else as a weapon of hate.

I do wish Pro Palestinians would take 15 minutes educated themselves on what antisemitism looks like and how it plays out in real life and how the same antisemitism was used in the early 20th century up to Nazi Germany. If people think Holocaust 2.0 couldn’t happen they’re fucking deluded.

It's really sad that both anti semitic and anti Islamic attacks are at a record high in the UK and understandably families like yours feel scared.

How do your Jewish and Muslim friends approach this issue with their children? Can they offer any tips?

I'll never take down my mezzuzah. If you live in a large minority Jewish area, I do too, there is no reason where every other house has one. Maybe if I lived in a predominantly non-Jewish area I would have a very discreet one, but I would hate to have to remove it for fear of being attacked - it would have to be the absolute last resort for me.
I've definitely seen defaced hostage posters but the yellow ribbons are mostly still flying, and if they're cut down, more are put up.

No, it's a consequence of people making false connections between what Netanyahu's government are doing in Gaza (which I deplore) and innocent Jewish families here in the UK.

If people were not antisemitic in the first place, they would not make that connection. We need to recognise the absurdity of blaming a British schoolboy for the actions of a government on the other side of the world and the prejudice that is inherent in this.

To be clear, I know you're not blaming the child. But we need to recognise that the fact that the child is being blamed at all is not the consequence of the atrocities that are taking place in Gaza but rather the consequence of the antisemitism which in any way connects those atrocities to that boy, simply because he happens to be Jewish.

Thank you for clarifying that.
I agree the distinction is important.

There has been a huge rise in attacks on Jews in this country across the world. It’s literally rife.

I think you're making the right decision. He probably doesn't really understand the implications.
But how sad that you have to do this. I really hope things will improve and your son will be safe to openly practice his beliefs in future.

Personally I feel school is about learning not showing of what religion you believe in. And I say that for all religions.

It’s not BS in that France does ban these things (rightly so in my opinion) but unfortunately it doesn’t result in less racism. But as a secular country I think their approach is right.

I think your responses depend on how old he is. 16+ he should be able to wear what he likes and understand any implications

It’s definitely anti-individual freedom. And I am not sure what the benefit is, as you note.

you don’t need to be anti-Semitic to be highly critical of Netanyahu’s government.

It’s an absolute disaster zone.

What a horrible reflection of our society that everyone can get tarred with the one brush by virtue of their race or background or religious beliefs. We had it in NI during the Troubles. Obviously not the same situation, but there are broad similarities. People making assumptions. Blaming everyone in one area or of a certain religion for all the terrible things that were happening. People polarised because of prejudice. I am so sorry you are in this position OP. Your child should not be a target, but ‘should not’ doesn’t help when there are some Neanderthals who are incapable of nuanced thinking.

And yet despite the fact the the Israeli government, or Israel itself, isn’t made up of all Jews, people still somehow manage to weave in antisemitic comments into Pro Palestinian rhetoric. I’ve rarely seen this rhetoric without antisemitism. Someone on MN the other day compared the situation in Gaza to killing people in gas chambers, and couldn’t understand why that was problematic.

Not taking sides on the French approach, but secularism is built in to their society.

England has a state religion. (Don’t know that the OP is in England, admittedly) Implicitly Anglicans and those of Anglican descent occupy a privileged place in society, though this lessens with every generation and many who are now struggling would laugh bitterly at this notion.

I think that means we have a responsibility to actively show inclusion to members of other religions.

You seem to have missed the point of my post entirely. Did you actually read what I said?

Your post is full of anger and hatred. There is no justification for what the Israeli government is doing right now. We should learn from history, not repeat it.

Postcode starting with N? I was just reading through this all sort of shocked as I live in if not the same a very similar area, and it seems to be business as usual both at the school up the road and on the street.

I’ve stopped wearing my Star of David and I no longer tell people who don’t know me that I’m Jewish. My children don’t wear their kippot anywhere but in shul now. They also sometimes speak Hebrew (their dad is Israeli) but I never let them do so in public. We were caught up in a protest by Big Ben last year where a bunch of people were dancing around a burning effigy of a Hasidic man while playing Jewish music and making long nose gestures. My kids were terrified and we ran to the tube to get home. Hide your identity and make sure your child does too. Jews are a target now more than ever and nobody’s going protect us, that’s very clear now.

She’s entitled to be angry. You’re not entitled to suggest that Jews are to blame for anything that’s happening to them.

Yes I am angry and hateful. Antisemitism is rife and people seem to think it’s justified because of Israel. Aren’t YOU mad about it? Or are Jews fair game?

Have you educated yourself on what antisemitism looks like? There’s some very good resources about very specific elements of antisemitism that people should be avoiding. It’s not shutting discussion down about Israel, it’s about ensuring those discussion don’t stray into antisemitism as it often does

I’m really saddened by this. Sorry OP. No advice, but solidarity.

I'm not sure about that. I have no faith, but I know many people who do and to varying degrees of commitment. Most religious people in the UK pick the bits in their religion that work for them and discard the bits that are incompatible with modern life or their own personal values.

For those people it's more of cultural thing, a link to their history and to varying degrees part of their identity. Pretty important for a child growing up and likely more so than most for a Jew.

Even in the 70s on a council estate with NF graffiti everywhere there was a sense that if you lived there, wherever you were from, you were part of that community and enough people would support you against the fascists.

Now we have a Labour PM channeling Enoch Powell.