To be concerned my DP deletes texts from his woman colleague

[Blueshirt13]

Me and my DP have been together for 9 years and have 1 DD. Recently I’ve noticed he is deleting his texts from one particular woman he works with. I don’t know how to talk about this with him as I’m worried he’ll be really off with me for noticing and seeing his phone (he often does it when I sit down next to him so it’s v obvious) He’s always talked openly about her as a friend and I know she’s happily married. AIBU to be concerned and to confront him about this?

If its only her messages he's deleting then he definitely has something to hide

I think there only hers he deletes. Often with a kiss at the end too which his ones to his male friends don’t. Getting worried what this could mean for us. Or am I’m overreacting? He checks in on her a fair bit as she’s pretty vulnerable, like that’s she’s home safely if she’s out late. I would be fine with him reading any of my messages because I have nothing to hide from him but this deleting makes me feel really uncomfortable.

Well just raise it and if he reacts badly turn it back round on him and say welk why have you deleted them and now your being defensive so you must have something to hide. I wouldn't be happy about this sounds very sneaky.

Is she actually vulnerable or does he just tell you she is as an excuse to see her?

Nobody deletes messages unless they have something to hide. There is no other explanation. The only time this would fly would be if he cleared ALL his messages. I know someone with an OCD where they do at the end of each day.

there is either something questionable in those messages, or the conversations are so frequent he knows it’s inappropriate. Either way, he’s hiding something.

If he’s got an iPhone and they’ve been communicating via standard texts/imessage, you can easily retrieve the deleted messages. Just an FYI.