9 yr old told off for calling non-binary teacher Sir

[Nowherecitizen]

My friend’s son was told off by a teacher at his school for referring to them as ‘Sir’. The teacher is male but identifies as non-binary.

Their title is Mx which the children are aware of. But the little boy simply looked at an adult who is visibly male and used the term Sir.

I have seen this teacher and they are 'masculine' looking but will sometimes wear a skirt and heels.

Friend’s DS felt bad and can’t recall exactly what was said to them but said the teacher was ‘very cross’.

AIBU to think this was mishandled? Surely the child should be reminded gently of the preferred identity of this adult but should not face a telling off?

What is the non-binary version of Sir anyway?

Yes, they should be reminded gently which is what makes me think for all you know (given the 3rd hand info) he may have been told off for taking the piss.

Or he may have been told countless times already, who knows?

Certainly not you, but it'll make for a busy thread regardless.

What an absolute load of bollocks.
Student refers to a man as sir and gets told off for it.

We don't know if this is something that the teacher has had to put up with daily from this child or others in his class. How bad was the telling off? Was the child being cheeky? I think if the telling off wasn't excessive then the kid will just have to take it on the chin.

Agreed. Cue the extremism.

I also agree that you don’t know what happened there exactly. It could be that as a 9yo, even if corrected appropriately, you’re quite emotionally immature and take feedback as ‘telling off’ it’s all in the context really.

I'd be really angry and would be asking to speak to the head.

I couldn't care less what somebody identifies as, but if they bollock my 9 year old child for a lapse in remembering what they should be referred to, then I'm going to be very angry indeed.

I fully expect a Daily Mail link by this evening.

Why is the teacher having to "'put up" with reality?! Should the children lie?

Point the school to the Supreme Court judgment and say you will view any disciplinary measure for a mistake very seriously.

As humans, we've evolved over thousands of years, to be able to tell the sex of another human, often at a glance.

Particularly for women, this confers a survival advantage.

Young children lack the social filters we learn through life, and say it as they see it.

They saw a man, quite rightly, and referred to that.

Every single female teacher has been called Sir/Mum at least once in their career, it's simply not an issue.

Poor child.

Expecting a child to comprehend and remember the concept of 'non-binary' is unfair and ridiculous. Cos playing as a woman isn't something that should be acceptable while in charge of children and being angry at a young person who inadvertently forgets pronouns is outrageous. YANBU.

I hate this shit, how the hell do you even pronounce Mx? is it like Mix?? what a joke

If this really happened then the teacher needs to grow the fuck up. I am generally supportive of schools but not when it comes to this sort of bollocks. ‘Mx’ indeed. How do you even make pronounce that? 😂

I got called 'nan' a few times while teaching, while I was in my early 20s. A sane adult would just move past an error, even if it's not a flattering one!

When I was teaching, I was called Miss, Mam, some times Sir and one memorable occasion, Gran. Teachers are used to been accidentally given the wrong title.

If it was my child I would say ‘Don’t worry. I’m not cross with you at all. And I’m annoyed they told you off. The situation with Mx Smith is very confusing. I’m confused too. Don’t give it any more thought.’

It's her friend's son. I don't see why the OP is concerning herself about it at all. She'll have only heard it third hand anyway.

Was this little boy an annoying teenager?

I'd encourage your child to see a minor telling off as just that. The sky hasn't fallen. He should presumably say 'Mx Brown' rather than Sir or Madam. Children usually adapt to this sort of stuff pretty easily so I'd think it was at least possible that he was taking the mick, which whatever the circumstances he shouldn't do.

When you say that this teacher might have to ‘put up with this daily’ what exactly do you mean?

’Put up with’ his students being polite and calling their male teacher Sir?

‘Put up with’ his student being able to accurately discern that the person in front of them is a man and using the correct words for his sex?

It is quite stunning that grown adults think it is ok to gaslight and abuse children in this way. Everyone in the world is either male or female (yes even the people with birth anomalies) and we use words that refer to people’s sex as many people don’t subscribe to the notion of ‘gender’ - it being based on stereotypes and undefined as a concept.

"put up with" - what do you mean?

I think you'd have to go a long way to find a teacher who hasn't been called Mum, Dad or Mr/Miss something else but a distracted/tired child. It's never resulted in more than a raised eyebrow or a mild giggle. Where children's struggle to remember that Miss Brown is now Mrs Smith post marriage or something, you may hear them being gently reminded.

That's it though.

None of those teachers would describe that as something they're struggling to "put up with" would they?

So by referring to this scenario in those terms you are putting the responsibility for validating this teacher's fragile identity on a 9 year old. And that it not ok.

Am v glad my 9 year old is in a school staffed by adults who relate to the kids in a developmentally appropriate, child centred way, with reasonable and age related expectations.

I only sporadically catch up with this friend and we were discussing how our DC were doing and she mentioned a few gripes and this was one of them. She is the least ‘offensive’ and angry person you could meet. I was more fired up about it than she was! She just felt bad that her son was getting in trouble rather than being mad about the gender confusion.

My DC has also had access to this teacher (who is very talented at their subject) but does have a stern demeanour. I know of them as Mx but would not expect a younger child to be fully aware all the time. The 9 year old just used ‘Sir’ to get their attention.

And yes I’m aware I’m only getting one side of it. I’m also aware teachers put up with a lot of shite.

That is disgusting behaviour from the teacher and the school.

Children should not be gaslit by teachers in this harmful way. People are either male or female and the words we use like Sir refer to their sex.

I’d advise your friend to make a complaint to the school OP.

Well surely the teacher can see that the sky hasn't fallen just because a kid called him sir🤷 but no, we should make kids lie and ignore reality because of an idiots feelz🙄🙄🙄