9 yr old told off for calling non-binary teacher Sir

[Nowherecitizen]

My friend’s son was told off by a teacher at his school for referring to them as ‘Sir’. The teacher is male but identifies as non-binary.

Their title is Mx which the children are aware of. But the little boy simply looked at an adult who is visibly male and used the term Sir.

I have seen this teacher and they are 'masculine' looking but will sometimes wear a skirt and heels.

Friend’s DS felt bad and can’t recall exactly what was said to them but said the teacher was ‘very cross’.

AIBU to think this was mishandled? Surely the child should be reminded gently of the preferred identity of this adult but should not face a telling off?

What is the non-binary version of Sir anyway?

How are you supposed to pronounce Mx anyway? Like Mix but with no vowel sound except a bit of a grunt?

So now, children of primary and junior school age have to worry about their teachers pronouns?
Ffs.

I am a female teacher, I dress mostly in skirts/dresses, always wear make up etc and am 5ft. Students still often call me Sir

It's actually a small percentage of trans people who opt for such surgeries and in any case if the person is of sound mind then it's their decision. I'm firmly against a person undergoing such life changing surgery without extensive counselling.
As for stating that 'there are only 2 genders and we shouldn't be teaching children any different' then my response would be that if a person feels that they were born in the wrong body Maybe we should try to be more open minded? Should we be more critical of gay people too? After all, human beings are designed to procreate, so should we be less accepting of them too?
My whole point of commenting was to offer the idea that treating a fellow human being with dignity and respect should be a given. As for harming children, that's utterly ridiculous 'children should ignore the evidence of their own eyes'? So children should make judgments on a person based on what they can see, rather engaging their brain and considering that there are different types of people, not just 'man' and 'woman' what about 'person'? 'human'?
I stand firm in my opinion that it doesn't matter what you think about who a person is, what gender they are etc, but that people are treated with dignity and respect.

I hope that this isn’t true because I know from experience it’s hard to switch to them/they pronouns and I’m a lot older than 9.

While I accept that NB people will face ridicule for being NB, most children aren’t going to use terms like him to be nasty. I see it as no different to kids forgetting a female teacher’s new married surname or using mum.

I’m not even sure how to say Mx

Some parents have poor self-regulation skills. I can see this turning into another teacher bashing thread.

I agree wholeheartedly with your comment. It wasn’t the fact of the telling off that got to me, it was the thought of a man wearing women’s clothes in a classroom. I don’t give a flying f*ck what this teacher does in his private life, but to come to a classroom to teach in women’s clothes is beyond sick! Why is the school allowing it?
It’s a good job I am not involved personally in this. I would have it all over the papers, especially local ones, in a flash (no pun intended!)

Treating people with 'dignity and respect' is not the same as kowtowing to every demand they make

List this under definitely didn’t happen. It’s like X on here at times. I’m sure people make things up

Don't insist on kids using gendered terms for teachers and it avoids this. Miss and Mr and sir etc are so old fashioned and unnecessarily gendered. Just use names.

A fully grown man claiming he isn't a man is being ridiculous though.

@ThriveAT the parent concerned has very high levels of self regulation and despite having a very high level science qualification, she is not overtly obsessed with the gender topic and is very respectful. She is not the complaining type either. I suspect the school very much wants to keep this top teacher.

Why stop there? Formal written warning? What next, the guillotine? Geez, you can see why teachers are fleeing for their sanity.

Why should he be reminded gently? The teacher is clearly in a mental health crisis and is verbally abusing very small children. HE shouldn’t be reaching small children. Put him in with teenagers and see if they will tolerate his abuse.

But in your examples those people would probably just let it go wouldn't they? I'd be a bit eye rolly about a Dr insisting on being called Dr if there was a lapse during small talk etc....

The whole point is that even if I call my neighbour who has a PhD and likes being called Dr Neighbour, Mr Neighbour instead, he doesn't cease to be a Dr die to my error, and we'd all think he was a bit of a knob if he reprimanded me.

This teacher needs the kids to comply with the request because if they don't, he's just a man.

It is not ok for your identity to so fragile it requires the scaffold of others' words or it all falls down.

Father Christmas is made up so based on your theory the children should have no problem with the made up concept of a non-binary teacher.
What makes this teacher unsafe?

That is your opinion - and you are entitled to it of course.

He’s unsafe because he is verbally abusing small children.

He has a mental health illness and his behaviour is erratic. He shouldn’t be teaching at all.

You're being intentionally obtuse. It's pretty obvious that the poster was pointing out that the teacher may have to put up daily with pupils intentionally misaddressing them though they know perfectly well how they should be addressed.

This teacher needs the kids to comply with the request because if they don't, he's just a man.

It is not ok for your identity to so fragile it requires the scaffold of others' words or it all falls down.

This is the key point.

Amd children should not be being roped in to this.

@Nowherecitizen Despite their talents they should only be in teaching if they understand a core principle - that your political and religious/ideological beliefs and practices should not affect the students or be transmitted to them.

It is your job as a teacher to remain neutral and to ensure that children of all belief systems are allowed to participate in conversation, debates and school life, without prejudice.

I’d go ballistic.

Fetishes belong in the bedroom. They do not belong in public life, and children should never ever be exposed to them! Make it very clear to the head that you do not consent to being part of this teacher’s fantasies. Full stop.

What a really horrible, unfair position to put small children in.

Why are you referring to yourself in the 3rd person?