Cutlery AIBU

[WhyNotUsehis]

So 'conversation' this evening as to why my DH won't set the table while I'm preparing dinner - it's basically because I'm too critical

As in when he sets the table he doesn't pay attention to the cutlery he's setting out, so you could get a
Dessert fork with a dinner knife or vice versa
Or two different types of cutlery, so a square edged knife with a rounded fork

To me, this just feels lopsided/unbalanced when I'm eating, I prefer the cutlery in each hand to be a similar size/shape- so I end up swapping my cutlery for something that feels right

Anyone else like this, or am I too fussy?

Can’t believe you spent time typing that out.

YABU for having any square-edged cutlery.

(And if you had only rounded cutlery, your problem would not exist.)

Perhaps if you sorted out the cutlery drawer, so that there is only one type or set of cutlery, it might make it easier for others to select a matching set?

I’ fussy about cutlery for special meals but day to day, it’s not a problem. But everyone’s different, so just organise the cutlery drawer so it’s easy to pick out the right one?

Blimey. Give the guy a break!

YANBU but I do think you need to pick your battles.

Sounds to me like an excellent opportunity to get a whole new matching set of cutlery.

How he can't tell the difference between a dessert fork and a dinner fork is beyond me.

YANBU about the dessert fork, but the square/rounded thing is a bit fussy. As suggested above, I'd sort the cutlery, even going as far as putting the basics (and your preference between the square/rounded sets) in one place and all the rest somewhere else. Simplify so he'd have to go out of his way to mess it up.

I agree that I don’t want different weights and handles of cutlery at a meal like I don’t want a hiking sock and an ankle sock on my feet at the same time.

Your partner clearly doesn’t notice or care, so lays the table accordingly.

As you do care, sort it out do such situations aren’t likely:

• Get a proper cutlery tray for your drawer to divide it up.
• Sort out your cutlery and get rid of the stuff that doesn’t match.
• If needed, label the tray sections.

I don't own any dessert forks. Mind you most of my cutlery is a mix of various sets because cutlery mysteriously disappears on a regular basis.

Of course, it's all your fault for not having a perfectly sorted cutlery drawer 🙄

I don't think it's too much to expect a grown man to be able to set a table with the appropriate matching cutlery. Especially when he's having his bloody dinner made for him.

Hmmm.

If it matching cutlery means that much to you, then you need to sort it out and have only matching.

As for dessert fork Vs normal... Get him to do it again, properly.

What's a dessert fork? Is that like a cake fork with the slightly cut out bit on one tine? If not then I have no idea of er have any and how often I've put them out.

My husband couldn't care less about matching styles (we have odd mix of styles) he just picks any 3 forks and and 3 knives.

It would drive me totally bonkers to have a drawer full of mismatched cutlery. Chuck it all out, get a matching set, and organise it with a drawer insert organiser.

If he continues to mess it up, stick a fork in his upper thigh.

We got rid of all our mismatched stuff and bought two sets - I agree it’s unpleasant to have different weighted or style of cutlery

Got to have the correct cutlery. My family can eat with what they like, but they know to set my place correctly, and that includes having a butter knife for the butter on the table. Preferably one from Sheffield.

I mean, I’m all for not mixing and matching, but our everyday cutlery doesn’t involve dessert forks. In fact, it lives in a mug on the dinner table so every just helps themselves to what they need (there’s a choice of forks, knives and pudding spoons, that’s it).

It’s not that you are fussy it’s that he is lazy. I would suggest if he’s not capable of setting the table properly you will start doing it whilst he cooks.

I have cutlery I prefer. If my partner sets out the wrong one for me by mistake I just swap it. I will say why in the hope he picks up on it and does better next time. But I know it’s me being fussy so I don’t make a big deal out of it or critique him.

We only have one style of cutlery. It makes life easier.

If he knows it bothers you yet keeps doing it then I think he’s being a bit of a dick. It’s such a small thing that costs him nothing and it makes you happy. Why WOULDN'T you do it?

There’s one particular fork (not part of any set, no idea where it came from!) that I prefer and my DH will always put that one out for me even though he likes it too!

I feel your pain, I think I am in the terrible position of having three of four differnt sets of cutlery in use, as for some reason, members of my family appear to throw away cutlery on a regular basis.
Someone equally dislikes potato peelers and serrated kitchen vegetable knives.

They positively loathe teaspoons.

In years to come, our descendants will wonder why we stashed so many worthless metal utensils in great mounds under earth. as our local land fill must be full of them,

Oh my gosh, yes! We go through periods where I don't think I could locate a fork if my life depended on it. Then they reappear, as mysteriously as they disappeared.

Yes, it annoys me when DH doesn't use the fish knives and forks.

You have too many different types of cutlery in the everyday cutlery drawer.

tell him to cook his own dinner if it's too much hassle for him to find matching cutlery.