Have you ever been wrongly accused of something?

[9livesin]

I am in my 40s now and I still remember the time I went into a popular clothes shop while my son was at playgroup 20+ years ago and I bought a nice cami top, the next week on the same day I popped back in on my way to collect him from play group wearing the new top I’d bought the week before and I tried a few bits on and then left, walked all the way through the precinct and was about to leave the other end, then suddenly two massive security guards frog marched me all the way back through the precinct of my home town in front of everyone at which point I had no idea why and only when I was back to the shop they accused me of trying on the top I was wearing and stealing it, there were no cameras I don’t think but I had to stay there while everyone stared while they checked the changing rooms for any tags, emptied my handbag out all over the check out desk and rummaged through my empty pushchair, turning all the covers out before telling me they were reluctantly giving me the benefit of the doubt as they couldn’t find the tag and letting me go, by this point I was running late collecting my son and had no mobile phone back then.
I was so embarrassed I have never been in the precinct since and don’t live in the town anymore it had such a big impact on me I already suffered with social anxiety as it was and as it was a hot day I had only worn that top so I guess they thought I walked in the shop topless.

I just think about that day all the time and know the staff member who made the error probably doesn’t even remember or have any idea how their mistake affected me.

I was offered a job and they wanted to follow up with references from over 10 years ago in a different country whose GDP R rules mean that all records are destroyed after six years unless there’s a business need for them not to be. Which there wasn’t.
So I then got accused of lying on my CV and the job offer withdrawn, took it up with Accas who secured a weeks notice payment for me but I turned down other roles to take that position so I was livid.

I was arrested for stealing a car. Spent hours in a cell, had two detectives interview me for over an hour and had a duty solicitor at 7pm. Plus they called my work to arrange for me to come in. This was in 1990.

I'd picked my then girlfriend up from a country house college ball, plus her friend who was pissed, so I drove home the long way to help her get her act together (strict Catholic parents). I passed the airport and a car passed at speed. It's 3 in the morning so not unusual...Next a land rover with full beam, roof mounted lights raced up and stayed behind me so I shot away...they were security at the airport. The first car had picked up 2 lads who'd dumped a car outside the airport, in a layby and set fire to it.

Eventually after questioning me the police random my girlfriend to confirm the story. Her mum answered (who thankfully liked me) and confirmed every thing

The police apologised and said "there are a lot of Mark 2 escorts on the road and the security guard must have been confused."
"But mines a mark 3"
" what's the difference?
"One has a boot, one is a hatch back!"

To top things off I got arrested the following night as when I walked out of the local pub someone threw a bottle through the police station next door...they arrested about 30 of us male and female as no one would admit it or tell them who did it. I didn't know as I didn't see...got home at 4am

I made a shaped sponge cake for the youth club fete - not sure how old I was, maybe a young teen. I had practiced and practiced, my family must have been so sick of sponge cake because the entry must have been no 6! I came second and the judge wrote on the postcard where you put your name and age that they thought I had had help. I was devastated! But I do make a good cake

I was 10. Very shy child from a home with a lot going on with parents illness and stuff. I was staying with grandparents. A neighbour’s child came out to play and started throwing handfuls of stones at some cars.

A man came out and said who has been throwing stones at my car. Sarah, smug faced and spoiled, who I had just met probably ten minutes before pointed at me and said she did. He said “oh I knew you wouldn’t have done it Sarah” and knocked on my grandads door to tell on me.

Grandad, knowing I was shy and the sort of kid who never said boo to a goose, wasn’t having any of it. Sarah stood by grinning while I cried.

I see Sarah around now and then and she’s still a horrid thing.

I was once accused of some kind of train fare dodging, received a scary court summons. A good ‘friend’ who daily travelled on that route had given my full name and an old address where we used to house share. I called her to tell her what had happened and her first words were ‘It wasn’t me’
I never called her again and she never called me - an admission of guilt.

Yes - accused by my ex-husband of having multiple affairs, including when heavily pregnant. After the birth I was accused of having affairs with three of my male cousins, ex-boyfriends (he burned the photos of them), my boss who was 30 years older than me, several colleagues, my best friend’s husband, her brother, her brother’s friends, and the local vicar who was 40 years older than me. My ex-husband now works for the probation service as a role model for young men.

So many awful experiences with teachers. This exact thing happened to my niece as well, for the memorial event of her father's death. It wasn't a detention, but she missed a couple of classes, with permission. The teacher whose class she missed gave her a bollocking for not caring about school.

An ex accused me of ringing his new girlfriend from a withheld number and warning her off of him. Nothing to do with me, I was well shot of him and couldn't care less who he dated. Didn't even know her phone number. Though obviously I wasn't the only person to think he was a wrong 'un.

A teacher when I was around 13 made my life a misery. Constantly accused me of cheating in lessons, on tests and then accused me of stealing from someone’s desk (on a day where I had been off sick and couldn’t have done it!). She accused me of bullying the girl who was actually bullying me and wouldn’t listen to me at all.

I was a quiet, nerdy, academic girl who wouldn’t say boo to a goose. I never lied, or cheated and have never stolen anything in my life. I was also being bullied and had a horrible home life, and was desperate for an adult to really see me and how miserable I was. She made it so much worse and I hope to run into her one day…

Munchausens by proxy, was absolutely horrendous. Luckily I was able to calm down, take a step back, gather a LOT of evidence and work through the allegations one at a time providing evidence to disprove each one and with the help of a very very good social worker to clear my name .

Munchausens by proxy, and was told I never should have been allowed to have kids, ds's were removed and we had to fight for 4 months to get them back.

So sorry to hear of someone else going through this 😔

My abusive ex landlord accused me of a number of things, including not cleaning properly and destroying various appliances and bits of furniture. He lied extensively to the tribunal (I was living in a different country) and was awarded about £2500 which I had no choice but to pay. That event directly contributed to my decision to return to the UK. I’ve spent so much time uselessly going over how it could have happened in my head, and how awful some people can be.

Likewise @NotEntirelyAccurate 😢

Oh and a mad thread on here where I said I couldn’t manage a three course meal anymore and people accused me of something along the lines of thin boasting or skinny showing off or whatever it was.

Size 14 with a menopausal rubber ring you idiots! Still doesn’t mean I can manage a starter, main course and pudding in one sitting!

Evil woman at work wanted my job. She spread terrible lies about me, some in a grievance that was an incredible work of fiction. She gained extraordinary influence to the extent that after I had to implement some difficult measures in the company, she somehow persuaded the committee I reported to that I had violated policy and implemented the changes without the necessary approval (from them). We had actually discussed and agreed the measures in the meeting and somehow they had been brainwashed into thinking it had not happened. Just extraordinary Kafkaesque stuff. As the whole situation had become surreal by then I had started recording meetings, and sent the transcript. But they still wouldn't believe me until they heard the actual recording!
I left shortly after, with a settlement. I was done with it all. It was a horrible experience.

My whole three years at university were made absolutely miserable by two bullies. They decided I had done something and made my life absolutely horrendous, but never told me why until my final few weeks there. I never had the opportunity to deny my so called crime. The bullying was constant and relentless, but the chief bully was a student welfare officer so nobody believed me. I gather they still work in welfare. The other one is a primary school teacher.

I’m a teacher. I’ve been accused of hitting a child. Twice. I haven’t even taught for that long.

I'm really sorry to hear that. What did they do if you don't mind me asking? Did you consider changing uni?

A couple of times I can think of...

Once at school I was accused of bullying someone. I had literally never spoken to her in my life and she hadn't complained about me either. A teacher had just got the wrong end of the stick. I'm still a bit cross about it tbh.

I took my toddler into Tescos once in her pushchair and she was eating a pack of rice cakes or something which she had been holding when we walked into the shop. The woman at the checkout kept saying "do you want to pay for those sweets? Do you want to pay for those sweets"? I was really annoyed as she kept saying it despite me saying no they were ours. She was eating them when we came in (and they weren't sweets anyway - who gives their toddler a big bag of sweets)? Anyway she kept laughing a tinkly laugh while I got more and more irritated and embarrassed. Horrible woman. I complained I think and got a voucher.

I was out for dinner with some colleagues years and years ago. My David Brent of a boss was there and some older female colleagues too. We were all tipping the wine back and all ended up quite messy. One of the older ladies said to me 'I see exactly you're doing! Trying to charm the boss. Talk about laying it on thick!'. I was actually aghast as the boss was a total creep who nobody had any respect for, and I asked her what she was on about. She said 'Oh come on, you can't kid a kidder! I see you exactly for who you are!'.

I remember being really upset and offended.

At the next staff do she came to me and apologised which I appreciated but I felt so upset by it!

As a mum of an autistic daughter who is now a young adult I really feel for you. My daughter will tell me the truth even when it hurts her and would tell the teacher if asked "Who did x?", because it's a fact. It got her into trouble with the bullies at school to start with, until they realised that if they did it around her, they would get found out. Like you though, she wouldn't approach a teacher for help for herself.

I grieve for the loving relationship you could have had with your mum, if only she had trusted you. I wonder if knowing you wouldn't answer back, it made you a convenient target to blame so she didn't get in trouble?

Accused of stealing Louise Farrer’s crayons in primary school. Teacher Mrs Murphy charged across the room like a bull and rapped me repeatedly on the head with a fist full of rings. I never touched her bloody crayons.

25 years ago I was accused by my manager of losing 6 portfolios of Learners’ work. They had been on her desk ready for me to take for marking the next day. She absolutely blamed me, and as a single mother of 4, I could have lost my job over that. Luckily one of the higher managers saw through her and completely believed me. It has left me very wary of trusting anyone at work.

Yup...years ago worked in an electric wholesalers where we had customers with accounts, paying customers and also some "cash account" customers who got 30 or 60 days but always settled in cash. One Thurs one of the managers came into me and handed me an envelope with 4k in it and told me one of the customers had paid his account but I didn't need to count it as they'd already checked. I started to count it anyway. Whilst doing so same manager came in saying he needed a break down of coin for wage envelopes (back in the day when most places paid cash). I told him I would just finish counting the 4k and would do the wages cash then. He told me no need as they knew the 4k was there and once I had the wages done to cash up. This really didn't sit right with me so I continued counting but only counted 3k. This was after being told 3 times the 4k was there that there was no way it was short on the customers end (apparently 3 managers were in the office when customer paid the money). So lo and behold when I cashed up I was 1k exactly down. I called manager down and told him and I was accused of taking the money and they searched my office and my handbag and my coat. I did have someone with me whilst this was being done. I was questioned as to where I had hidden it and after 2 hours they told me to go home and they would resume in the morning.

I got into work the next morning (against my better judgement) and the very first thing I was met with was a phone call from the customer apologising as he had only handed over 3k and he hoped it hadn't caused me to much bother. I explained to him what happened and he was upset that this had happened to me. He said he would sort it and in fairness he did but I never received an apology. Was just told customer had made an error and he rang to tell them. Later that day a huge bouquet of flowers arrived from customer by way of an apology and I handed in my notice the following week. I was so upset and disgusted at the way management had approached the whole thing.