Have you ever been wrongly accused of something?

[9livesin]

I am in my 40s now and I still remember the time I went into a popular clothes shop while my son was at playgroup 20+ years ago and I bought a nice cami top, the next week on the same day I popped back in on my way to collect him from play group wearing the new top I’d bought the week before and I tried a few bits on and then left, walked all the way through the precinct and was about to leave the other end, then suddenly two massive security guards frog marched me all the way back through the precinct of my home town in front of everyone at which point I had no idea why and only when I was back to the shop they accused me of trying on the top I was wearing and stealing it, there were no cameras I don’t think but I had to stay there while everyone stared while they checked the changing rooms for any tags, emptied my handbag out all over the check out desk and rummaged through my empty pushchair, turning all the covers out before telling me they were reluctantly giving me the benefit of the doubt as they couldn’t find the tag and letting me go, by this point I was running late collecting my son and had no mobile phone back then.
I was so embarrassed I have never been in the precinct since and don’t live in the town anymore it had such a big impact on me I already suffered with social anxiety as it was and as it was a hot day I had only worn that top so I guess they thought I walked in the shop topless.

I just think about that day all the time and know the staff member who made the error probably doesn’t even remember or have any idea how their mistake affected me.

This is an amusing one although it most definitely wasn’t for me at the time! My chair leg scraped loudly across the floor in a secondary school drama class & nobody would believe that I hadn’t farted! It’s over 40 years ago & I still remember the crippling shame & how desperately I tried to convince my fellow pupils that it was my chair. Worst of all, I had a crush on the teacher!

A teacher accused me of getting my mum to write a story for my homework.

Acrually I’m just a good writer. In fact, I later wrote and published a book, in part to spite her 🤣

A garden centre/nursery accused me of stealing some plants - it was a little local concern and I’d waited 15-20 mins at pay desk with no sign of any staff and I was running late for picking up DC from school - I left cash and a note saying 2 trays of x, 3 of Y etc - if they had been there to give me change it wasn’t much so wasn’t bothered
I was just trying to load boot of car when a very angry man swept round the corner and had a go at me - I showed him what I had chosen - took him to where the money and the note was and that it was more than enough - he threw a handful of coppers at me and told me never to return! That I shouldn’t have left the money as someone else might have stolen it! There was not a soul in sight

When I was growing up,my mother had a small bookcase thing on the wall (it's the only way I can describe it)

She had loads of mini bottles of booze on it-vodka,whisky,gin-name a spirit,it was on there

One day,she found someone had nicked the clear liquids and refilled them with water

It must have been me-somehow,at the age of 8/9,I got my hands on them,drank the lot,snuck downstairs (while avoiding her,my father,3 brothers and the 3 kids she childminded) to where our only bathroom was,refilled all the bottles and put them back (still nobody noticed) before heading off to school looking totally sober

I never laid a finger on them and 40 years later,it still pisses me off that everyone thought it was me-if I had drank all that,I would have been in hospital,not on my way to school

I do think it had been done years earlier by one of her heavy drinking friends but nobody owned up and I'm still to blame

Hope you dedicated it to her! 😏

My (higher level) English teacher accused me of plagiarising a poem that I had written. She was sure she had read it before.

That combined with another grudge meant she kicked me out of honours English and I had to be in class with the other children, who definitely didn't care about the topic and were doing really boring and easy work. It was humiliating, unfair, and meant I wasn't properly challenged.

Mine is a bit outing, so will change a few details but broadly the same… my mum made some treats… let’s called them jam tarts. And my dad and sister LOVE jam tarts, whereas I can take them or leave them (no real sweet tooth). One weekend my mum made a massive batch of them for the village fete and having left them to cool came back to find one with a big gouge in it. My dad denied it - mum had to believe him, my sister denied it and because my mum thought it was a front tooth mark and my sister had wonky front teeth… I got the blame… sent to my room for a whole weekend for ‘lying’ in the middle of the summer holidays and lots of comments about being ‘disappointed’ when my mum brought food up to my room. Decades later it came up one Christmas - both my sister and dad admitted to it and then laughed because they couldn’t even remember who it had been. Wankers! Double wankers! I am going to call my autobiography The Jam Tarts Incident. I think it’s where I get my over-developed sense of social justice from!

An extremely influential person on my upbringing (looked after me multiple times every week for about 10 years from me being a few weeks old and I adored them) accused me of stealing an item (worth around £5 second hand) when I was 19. I was heartbroken. They refused to listen to me that I hadn’t stolen it and never spoke to me again. Out of shame I’ve not made contact with anyone mutual since. My cheeks are burning just thinking about it.

Yes and I'm furious to this day. I befriended an elderly neighbour. First it started with me waving as I walked past his window with my three young Dcs and then stopping for a chat at his gate and them going into his house every now and then for a chat and a cup of tea
He was clearly lonely and I thought he was a nice chap and that I was being neighbourly.
One Christmas I popped in with a card for him before driving to my hometown to see my parents and he gave my three dcs £2 each. At the time I said that there was no need but the dcs( who were very young) were delighted so I let them take it.
I came home after the Christmas break. He was at his window as usual and I waved as always. He just stared back at me. I presumed his sight was going or something but after three weeks or so had passed with me waving 2-3 times a week in passing with him just staring back I knocked on his door. He told me in no uncertain terms that he never wanted to see me again, that I was after his money and that his neighbour( who I did not know from Adam) had told him I was a troublemaker and not to be trusted. And that was that.
He died a few months later and I felt sad that what had been an innocent pleasure for both of us was somewh turned into something ugly for no reason. It rankles to this day.

Everyone on this thread, I'm so very sorry about the horrible things you've been through. Some are really heartbreaking to read. I hope you're strong and fabulous now and that it hasn't stayed with you too terribly.
Many years ago, XDH's favourite form of torture was to accuse me of bonking other men. Not just one or two either, ALL other men. The window cleaner, my work colleagues, the old man next door, and all his friends. It didn't matter what I said or offered to do to "prove" it, he was adamant. He dragged me out of work by my hair one day, having decided I was seeing my boss. Every evening used to be a long drawn out discussion about who I'd been with and what I'd obvious been doing with them all, and eventually I gave up even speaking to anyone of the opposite sex.
Coped with it for nine years before I gave up and left. Exhausting.

I've been wrongly accused of giving a shit a few times.

Yes! My best friend and I were accused of cheating on a test in school. For the next one they sat us a far away as possible from each other. We got the same score again which I still remember, 27.5 😂

I see you've met my ex

Every single bloke I came into contact with,I was shagging (I once said hello to a cousin in the street-boom!I'd shagged him-no amount of explaining would make him change his mind)

He had everyone believing it!

His mother will tell you what a slag I am and his sister loves to tell everyone I'm a tart

I swear to god,I was never unfaithful to him but it was exhausting having to deny it every single time-even to the point I couldn't go to the corner shop in case there was a bloke serving

We broke up and he's still pedalling this crap over 15 years on

I remember screaming at him 'if I'm going to be accused,I might as well fucking do it!'

That apparently was 'proof!'

Sad little man

i had the same! But I was generally good in English class anyway.. so that was annoying. "Sport is the continuation of war by other means", a well know phrase, but i'll never forget it....

I have one that still rankles over 30 years later.
When I was around 16 I got an essay back in History that i had worked hard on with an F on it. The Teacher told me that it was because it was indentical to my best friends essay and so one of us had copied. Everyone knew I hadn't copied off her as I was an A student and she was C at best and when I told the Teacher that he said that one of us had and the other had allowed it so we both got an F
Thing is I am pretty sure she must have taken my essay from my (unlocked) locker and copied it without telling me.

Yes, at school. It was (I guess) an administrative error that had me down as not attending so I was accused of truanting. Honestly it was laughable that I’d have skipped school - I loved school, and also had never ever been in any kind of trouble and wouldn’t say boo to a goose I was so scared of being told off.
But my mum didn’t believe me. It might sound silly but it really affected my relationship with her when I was a teenager because despite everything about me pointing towards me not truanting and this being a mistake on the register, she didn’t believe me. And not only did she not believe me, but even as a 13 year old I could think “hang on, you think that despite everything you know about me, I’ve skipped school, and you don’t even care about finding out why” (obviously I hadn’t skipped school, but if I had, something would have been seriously wrong to make me do that).

I always think of this whenever there are threads on here where a child has been accused of something they’re denying, and the responses are all “yeah well all teenagers lie” “they would say that” “don’t think that your child wouldn’t lie to you”
Yeah obviously teenagers do lie, but a blanket “I will believe anyone else over my child because all teens lie” is a terrible position to take.

Girl in primary school accused me of bullying her, and then after of hitting her best friend (her friend was able to cry on demand, which I suspect is why she was chosen to tell the lie).

The teacher believed them. Everyone in the class knew it was the other way round, I was the outcast of the girls, and that the main two bullies were intending to get me into trouble. I got told after that no one liked me and they wanted me chucked out of school. The teachers missed it though, and didn't seem to care really .

I was a painfully shy child, painfully awkward and quiet, currently awaiting autism assessment, and was so confused and in shock both times I got in trouble for it and taken to the office, I didn't stand up for myself. I didn't even deny the accusations, I was so downtrodden by the bullying at that point. I just kept quiet.

I know for a fact my primary school bullies don't think about it twice, we were kids, but it bothers me to this day how I had no one on my side as a kid or who could see how shit things were for me. Surely the teachers cared more than that, or at least wondered why I didn't try to defend myself at all? I suppose it's because they expect a kid being so mercilessly bullied and harassed to speak up, and I couldn't / didn't. So they just accepted the bullies version as true. Squeaky wheel gets the grease, I guess.

Besides that, my mother accused me of stealing from her on numerous occasions when I was a teen. I never did, not once. Not a single time. But she knew me as a thief and I just had to bear that. Constantly in trouble for stealing I didn't do.

Ive posted this before under other usernames. I didn’t vote the way my mother and sister wanted me to for Brexit. So they reported me to the police for being a terrorist supporter. Twice. Second time two officers higher up knocked on my door and actually investigated (first time the officer just took their word for it and gave me a telling off). Mother and sister ended up having a telling off for wasting their time/making false police reports and told to leave me alone.

In the meantime they spread their poison around the village and I ended up being ignored by people I’d always been on friendly terms with. It’s been 9 years and I still get cold shouldered by some.

When I was about 7 or 8 I had a friend who lived in the next road. She went to a different school but we were in and out of each other's houses weekends and all summer. One day I called on her and was told that she couldn't play with me any more because of what I'd done in their toilet. I'd not been into their toilet and still have no idea what I was supposed to have done but no amount of protesting made any difference and I was never allowed to see her again. I'm 60 now and it's still infuriating. 😂

In my workplace about ten years ago I was a whistleblower because my manager was a dreadful, stupid racist. She used terms such as p*i and ch*k in the office. This was in an FE college.
Shortly afterwards two of my colleagues that were her friends but in accusations calling me an office bully and unprofessional in the workplace. It was a hideous time which culminated in my losing my job.

She received a warning apparently after they investigated what I disclosed. Oh and it later turned out that she was shagging the head of HR.
Worst time of my life. I’m in a different industry now but if it ever happened again I would just keep
my mouth shut.

I entered a piece of needlework in a children's craft competition. Needlework was my thing (still is) and I sweated blood over it and made a good job. The judges decided no child could work that neatly and I was put into last place and my "cheating" was flagged up to my parents and the group leader.

My mother told me it was actually a backhanded compliment, which consoled me not one jot.

My geography teacher ripped up my answer paper for a test because she thought I'd cheated. I hadn't - another girl had copied my (incorrect!) answers. I don't know why the teacher thought I was the guilty one but she had taken a dislike to me from the start and I could never do anything right.

Years ago, multiple neighbours of my ex boyfriend (who had broken my heart and dumped me by email) received a poison pen letter accusing him of some unsavoury behaviour - and he told all and sundry that it was me that had sent them. I hadn’t! I had been doing everything I could to convince him to give me another chance and I’m not so stupid to think that doing something so cruel and vindictive would have achieved that aim.

I found out after being accosted by one of the neighbours in the town where I lived and being told I was a disgraceful human being. A couple of years later, someone I worked with who lived further along the same street was able to help me piece things together but had never connected it with me, thankfully.

When I initially found out, I was so upset and went round to confront him but he wasn’t in. The next day one of my best friends was diagnosed with cancer and, in comparison, it wasn’t so important to tell him in person what a piece of shit he was to even think it of me, much less to tell people it was me without talking to me first. If I remember rightly, I sent an email telling him if he slandered me again, I’d get a solicitor involved. My broken heart became icy cold very quickly. I’ve never seen him again and wonder whether there have been occasions when he could have seen me and hidden before I tore a strip off him.

Recent thread.

Apparently I'm lying about my father's experience in the Royal Navy.

Don't have any reason to.

My father and I - autistic, with strong sense of right and wrong, following rules to the letter. If my father was being drawn towards wrongdoing by others he wouldn't sleep and he would work himself up so much worrying about it that he would be ill (possibly his way of stimming).

One of my children is diagnosed with autism (more than 20 years ago) - the other two are convinced they are. My oldest grandchild is diagnosed and the other five are waiting to be assessed.

We all have the exact same trait of being rigidly (too) open and honest.

But I'm an accused liar - so there you go.

So many who project their own behaviours onto others here.

If everyone is lying - what's the point?

This was forty years ago and I’m still bitter.

I went to the school play with my boyfriend because my sister was in it. The seats we were allocated were next to a bunch of older kids that I didn’t know. As the play progressed these older kids started heckling and throwing stuff around. So we got up and moved elsewhere.

The next day in PE, the teacher asked if anyone had been there last night. I raised my hand, so she asked me for my seat number. As soon as I gave her it, she told the entire class that I was responsible for the disturbances. I protested. The next 10 minutes went like this:

Her: were you sat next to Jane Smith
Me: I don’t know who Jane smith is
Her: were you sat next to Jane Smith
Me: I don’t know who Jane Smith is

and so on for the full 10 minutes. Now, I was very badly bullied at school. And this exchange, front of the whole class was eating into everyone’s favourite lesson, so the class started joining in demanding I own up. Eventually I cracked and said “I suppose I must have been but I don’t know her”

Well, that was it, she launched across the room at me, grabbed my arm (left a bruise) and dragged me to the door, while telling the class that I was disgusting for ruining my sisters play and that none of them should ever speak to me again. She dragged me to the heads office, and told him what I’d supposed to have done. I then had to sit outside his office for a good two hours waiting.

Finally got in to see him. By then I’d remembered one of the prefects was sat near me when I moved, and might remember me. She was called in, and confirmed my story.

And that was that. He told the teacher I was innocent, but there was no apology or retraction of what she’d said to the class. I spent the final 18 months of my school career being either ignored or taunted about “ruining my sisters play”

My parents did nothing about it of course, but that’s a whole other thread.