Have you ever been wrongly accused of something?

[9livesin]

I am in my 40s now and I still remember the time I went into a popular clothes shop while my son was at playgroup 20+ years ago and I bought a nice cami top, the next week on the same day I popped back in on my way to collect him from play group wearing the new top I’d bought the week before and I tried a few bits on and then left, walked all the way through the precinct and was about to leave the other end, then suddenly two massive security guards frog marched me all the way back through the precinct of my home town in front of everyone at which point I had no idea why and only when I was back to the shop they accused me of trying on the top I was wearing and stealing it, there were no cameras I don’t think but I had to stay there while everyone stared while they checked the changing rooms for any tags, emptied my handbag out all over the check out desk and rummaged through my empty pushchair, turning all the covers out before telling me they were reluctantly giving me the benefit of the doubt as they couldn’t find the tag and letting me go, by this point I was running late collecting my son and had no mobile phone back then.
I was so embarrassed I have never been in the precinct since and don’t live in the town anymore it had such a big impact on me I already suffered with social anxiety as it was and as it was a hot day I had only worn that top so I guess they thought I walked in the shop topless.

I just think about that day all the time and know the staff member who made the error probably doesn’t even remember or have any idea how their mistake affected me.

My abusive ex-partner accused me of having affair because I went out for drinks after work now and again with colleagues. On one occasion I pointed out that the colleagues I'd had a drink with were both women, so he said I must be a lesbian. He was deadly serious, too.

When I was about 14 a teacher at school asked me if I was wearing mascara. I wasn't wearing any, so I said no. She didn't believe me, marched out of the room and returned ages later with some makeup remover and cotton wool she had got from the Drama department (I assume used for taking off makeup after school plays?) and told me to scrub my eyes with it. I shrugged, did as she asked and, of course, absolutely nothing happened because I wasn't wearing mascara. All of this probably wasted about one-third of the entire lesson.

Howling!! 😂😂😂

Did you ever go back to mum? Did you go to a family member? How did you get on after leaving home at 16?

Yes rich parents, no one would think they would do it. Violent Father, school minimised as they liked the fees. My mother minimised, ignored or even actively set on me. She accused me of petty things like stealing her makeup, I had actually bought my own with money from my PT job. Left aged 17 thank God I did.

Just to add the only reason she knew I had makeup, chocolate etc was as she went through my drawers. We had a 6 bedroom house and a cleaner, go figure

I have always been a big reader. When I was 13 I was in WH Smiths looking at books. I realised that I was being followed around the bookshelves (I lterally went nowhere near any other shelf) by a man, so decided to leave. He stopped me and accused me of stealing as a left, and I was taken into a small room and staff searched me and my bag. Obviously found nothing except the money that I would have used to buy a book if I hadn't been intimidated by being followed around a store by a strange man.

I have never set foot in WH Smiths again to this day, and I am 67 years old now.

And if I saw a child that actually was so desperate to read that they would steal a book, I'd be certain not to see a thing.

I had something very very similar. I used to love writing short stories and fiction and we were given a creative writing exercise. My teacher asked me 'who really wrote this' and then got cross when I said i had. Also got marked down. I was mortified and in tears in the classroom which made things worse.

I've never written another short story in my life. I was 15 and I am now 51.

I was accused by my cousin of fancying her partner, when I really don't. We get on ok, and I do like him in a brotherly kind of way. But she wouldn't have it, and got really narky about it. I thought it was because she'd had too much to drink, but we've spoken about it sober and she really does think I have a thing for him. It really pisses me off because I know she's told him, and I've got no way of proving that I don't.

I`ve got loads and plenty on here.
One being i did not raise my child without any help or CM.
two i did not bugger of to thialand at a young age.
Three no way im 38 with a 22 year old son i defo missed out on life.
The list goes on.

I was accused of stealing my sisters twilight dvd set, no one believed me even though I’d never watched twilight nor showed any interest. Everyone was telling me how disappointed they were and if I gave it back then all would be forgiven. Still kept telling them it wasn’t me and in all honesty if they knew me, they’d know I didn’t like anything like that, my go to watch things were completely different from all of my families. Fast forward 6 years, my other sisters house had to be packed up and guess what showed up? Alongside a lot of our belongings which had disappeared from the family home! I didn’t get an apology and still to this day haven’t watched twilight and it makes me mad every single time I think of it 🤣

My science teacher accused me of lying about my dad being dead when I told him I couldn't do an after school detention because we were going to my the grave to put flowers on for the first anniversary of his death.....

I outed my dad's affair to my mum when I was 6 years old. He obviously said I was lying. My mum believed me thank goodness, but still to this day I get very defensive and angry if someone doesn't believe what I say, or tells an obvious untruth about me.

I struggle particularly with my 5 year old, he has a tendency to not fully listen to me sometimes, so will then later say that I have said something that I didn't - and it winds me right up.

For example if I say, 'today I'm picking you up, but tomorrow it's daddy', he might only hear 'today', 'picking you up' and 'daddy'. So then when I go to pick him up, he will say things like 'YOU SAID DADDY WAS PICKING ME UP' and no amount of explaining that I didn't, will stop him, he digs his heels right in. So then I feel myself getting angry, and I have to calm myself down. He doesn't need to see me angry, just because my dad is a d$%k. But it's hard!

Jesus.

Even if you didn’t believe a child on this, who on earth would take the punt and try to call them out on it. The cost-benefit is just insane.

Yes, it must take an insane level of confidence in being right to accuse a child of lying about a dead parent.

As a child and especially as a teen, I was accused of all sorts of dark-hearted thoughts that I simply didn't have. Not murder or anything but I was accused of wanting things, of manipulation, of hatred where there wasn't any.

That was at home and continues to this day. I'm not like that, and I can see my father is a damaged man, so it is what it is, but I don't have to put up with it. But back then I remember feeling such shame and incredulity and frustration. He might be damaged but he's also pretty vile. And he's missed out on a daughter who's pretty easygoing and loving because he can't see it.

That's so sad. I hope you feel you want and are able to write again some day.

Farting when it wasn't me

Not sure if I've told this story on here before but I still remember being a little kid and sitting in the front seat whilst my Dad picked up a takeaway. He got back in the car and started the engine without putting his belt on so me, being safety conscious, said "Dad, you forgot to put your seatbelt on."

He. Hit. The. Roof. I still remember the anger and venom in his voice as he snapped 'don't you EVER say that to me again' whilst my brother laughed in the backseat. Obviously I was a kid so figured I must've done something wrong and I remember being so scared and confused that I didn't question it.

Years later my Dad told the story as a funny anecdote - he (and my brother) thought, for some reason, that I'd said 'Dad, put your f**king seatbelt on.' I told them both what I'd really said but I don't think either one believed me.

My step-dad always blamed me for things as well. I remember he had this sound system and he was obsessed with it, I really couldn't have cared less about it, but he was always accusing me of touching it. One night my Mom was throwing a birthday party and she asked me to skip the song so I took the remote and was helping her when he came over and snatched the remote out of my hands. He was so drunk he could barely do it himself but I left him to it. The next morning I overheard him say to my Mom 'funny how she knew how to use the remote, isn't it?' - yeah 'cos it was a standard remote with the same controls as any other?? It wasn't anything special?

I remember my step-sister bought a packet of mint chocolate chip digestives once and they went missing - he was gagging to blame me and my only saving grace was that I didn't like mint chocolate so there would've been no reason for me to take them. We never solved that mystery but at least everyone knows it wasn't bloody me!

Multiple affairs by ex (who was of course cheating)

Stealing by an ex employer when I was an older teen: broke my heart to be thought of as a thief

Accused of lying about a medical condition to cover up my daughter’s bad behaviour.

My daughter has Tourette’s - she got a new English teacher in year 10 who flat out refused to believe me or her.

Teacher had put DD into after school detention for swearing and ‘messing around’ in class.

DD tried to explain - teacher refused to believe her. Her classmates tried to explain - she ignored them. I contacted the teacher - she accused me of lying to cover up for DD’s behaviour.

I complained, the detention was cancelled and teacher then had it in for DD so badly that DD had to be moved into a different class.

DD had been at that school for years by that point, everyone knew about her Tourette’s, she had a whole pupil passport with it in, reasonable adjustments and arrangements for exams (that said teacher ignored) and it was in all her school records if the teacher had bothered herself to check.

What was it about?

I lost child benefit for 6 months because the child benefits office decided that I hadn't had DD living with me for the first year of her life.

What had actually happened was, I had contacted them after I received the first years statement to get them to correct a spelling mistake in her name. Somehow that ended up being a 'computer says no' situation that no-one could correct and I spent endless weeks fighting it.

Madness!

I had to phone the police as my mum was acting aggressively. Anyway the police accused me of hurting my mum as she had a bruise on her arm. I didn't touch her. She was on medication that caused her to bruise easily. She did admit that it wasn't me.

I was accused of being complicit is theft from the tills in the supermarket where I worked on Saturday because I was upset when the actual thief was caught. I was upset because I was so shocked at someone who I thought was nice being so awful!

I eventually got an apology but i never felt safe at work afterwards. I was 16 and I'm sixty now. I still get anxious when I think about it.

Yes. After Sunday school, the teacher took our artwork down from the wall for us to take home. I took mine, and then a girl called Kelly said it was hers and the one left over was mine. The left over one was only coloured in red, yellow and blue. I was shocked that anyone would think I had done it as I always spent ages on my art work and used lots of colours. The Sunday school teacher took Kelly's side because she was her favourite. I saw my Dad walk through the door and thought everything would be ok, but he also chose to believe Kelly and not me and punished me when I got home. I never understood him not believing me, especially when the picture Kelly claimed was mine was so obviously not something I would have done. I was only 9 but it's stuck with me ever since. I felt betrayed.