Pay rise or WFH

[ItWasCalledYellow]

I have an offer of a new role with a great pay rise. Situation as follows:

Option 1 - stay in current role on a salary of 90k, amazing flexibility, 3 kids from ages 4-11 all will be in school by sept, lower childcare costs with all in school by September and flexible role where I can collect from school 1 day a week and by 4.45pm at childcare on other days. I am under a lot of pressure in current role to deliver unrealistic demands on occasion. However, I know the role very well and can do it with my eyes closed. 2 days commute 35 mins each way, 3 days wfh.

Option 2 - new job, limited flexibility, 5 days commute 15 mins each way, 120k salary, no flexibility to wfh and it will be possible - 1 / 2 day wfh in approx 9 months.

AIBU to go to new role where I cannot drop my kids any days to school, they will be dropped by child-minder, currently I drop every day to school due to flexibility and they are collected by a childminder 3 / 4 days per wk. In new role they will be at childcare before and after school 5 days a week to approx 5.30pm. My DH has no flexibility to do and is gone each day to work from approx 6.45 to 5.30. Is it just better to stay on less salary with great flexibility. I have a very good pension pot.

Option 1!!

If you can afford to stay on the lower wage then I would I think for a while, the money is still quite good

Although my question would be why were you doing interviews in the first place, is there something about your current role that you are unhappy with?

It's up to you.

If it were me, I'd stick with the flexible one a year or two more then go for the payrise. But, I would also see if existing employer would be able to offer something more interesting and challenging, knowing you have an active offer elsewhere!

Definitely stick! Think about the easier life and more time with your kids. You’ll lose a lot of the increase in tax anyway

I work FT, drop my children at school every day and have childcare 3 after schools and do 2 school pick ups. I have flexibility to see my child’s plays etc, Personally I wouldn’t trade flexibility for anything. Time with my kids is priceless.

Option 1. Your kids won’t be young for long. Blink and they’ll be teenagers and all those school picks, sports days, nativities etc will be over. And you’ll have missed them.

This is one of these examples of where women are disadvantaged with the expectation that they are responsible if children are unwell, cost of childcare etc. I think you should do what is best for you - if you love your job and want to progress take it and see how it goes. If you’re not that fussy about career progression and it’s only got the money then stay put! Good luck!

with 3 school age kids and the fact you do have a good salary at the moment, I wouldn't give up a flexible job for a pretty unflexible one.

After tax, it doesn’t sound as if the pay increase in the new job would be worth it.

I think if your youngest child is only just starting school in September then the flexibility for school shows, and class open morning type events will be invaluable.

Also you eldest child will be starting secondary, so too old for childcare but too young to be at home on their own every day after school. Also too young to be home alone for their inset days which will be different from the primary school. I know plenty of kids do have to do this, but I wouldn’t want it if I had the choice.

So my choice would be option 1 at this time.

This is important. Plus 15 minutes is better than 35 for the commute.

Option 2 -, you wouldn’t have applied it you didn’t want to leave. Is it an on onboarding rule of no WFH - for a set period of time? It seems really unusual for there to be no flexibility at that seniority

Also bear in mind additional rate tax kicks in at £125k - it’s 45% so with NI you end up paying 50% tax. So if you’re looking for annual pay rises in future even small ones or bonuses will have you hitting this very quickly. Absolute pain in the arse. Go for option 1 with 3 kids in the mix.

@MadeleineAllbright over £1k a month is a significant amount over time if managed correctly, it could could mean saving it for an early retirement, saving it to help kids on property ladder, paying mortgage off really early. But the guilt of not being there for kids as much is holding me back.

I was raised in a low income family in a council estate, the long term benefits of having an extra £1k per month could be amazing.

Option 1, every time

You won't see the extra 1k. It will be annihilated in tax, pension contributions & extra childcare costs.

Personally I'm in a 90k a year flexible job and have decided to try and stay put until my kids are older, purely for the flexibility and good culture. So id choose option 1

You do know that tax free child care can be used for wraparound at school age. If either parent earns over 100k you will also lose that benefit as well.

What kind of work do you do?

@Landoftherisingsun yes onboarding rule, you are right it is unusual at that level to have limited flexibility. I applied for role as it is really interesting, I would not of applied if I had known no option to wfh, but now that I have to offer with extra money it’s hard to not consider!

What happens with sickness for the children? What will you do in the school holidays?

I know the extra money is tempting but it’s not worth the loss of flexibility to me. A flexible employer when your children are young is invaluable.

When will your eldest be at Secondary school and how will their day look then? There's often no childcare... will they be home alone before and after school everyday?

Will you regret not taking option 2 later? Because we regret what we don't do, not what we do.

Personally I would take option 2 because I chase variety and more money.

I might be wrong, but I thought you could use tax free childcare for after school clubs, etc? I thought you could use this up to the age of 11? In which case it could save you a lot of money in the next few years. I’m usually all for bettering your salary, but having a flexible job at the moment, very similar to you, I appreciate the benefits. Unless you are unhappy where you work, or you think the new job could make you happier and lead to a better future, you might be financially better off to stay where you are.

@Birdsongsinging its not because I have to do the bulk of sick days when kids are sick, or collecting or dropping to school. The point is I love that I currently can do that and it is such a privilege that I can. I feel I AIBU to my 3 DC to change jobs for more money, when I could be spending that time with them in mornings and evenings, I get to go to all school events with my flexibility.