Pay rise or WFH

[ItWasCalledYellow]

I have an offer of a new role with a great pay rise. Situation as follows:

Option 1 - stay in current role on a salary of 90k, amazing flexibility, 3 kids from ages 4-11 all will be in school by sept, lower childcare costs with all in school by September and flexible role where I can collect from school 1 day a week and by 4.45pm at childcare on other days. I am under a lot of pressure in current role to deliver unrealistic demands on occasion. However, I know the role very well and can do it with my eyes closed. 2 days commute 35 mins each way, 3 days wfh.

Option 2 - new job, limited flexibility, 5 days commute 15 mins each way, 120k salary, no flexibility to wfh and it will be possible - 1 / 2 day wfh in approx 9 months.

AIBU to go to new role where I cannot drop my kids any days to school, they will be dropped by child-minder, currently I drop every day to school due to flexibility and they are collected by a childminder 3 / 4 days per wk. In new role they will be at childcare before and after school 5 days a week to approx 5.30pm. My DH has no flexibility to do and is gone each day to work from approx 6.45 to 5.30. Is it just better to stay on less salary with great flexibility. I have a very good pension pot.

Think about it in the round. Yes there is a lack of flex, higher childcare costs, nasty tax band 100-120 after pension contributions. A 15min commute is nothing though.

However I would carefully assess what the growth and promotion opportunities are in new role v old. Very easy to accidentally stifle your career in these situations by going for the easy option of staying where you are whilst the DH isn’t constrained.

@Stickortwigs option 2 is definitely more interesting role with good potential, it’s just to give up all that flexibility with kids is hard.

I remember you posting this not so long ago and my response is same - option 1!

Option 1.
the ability to be on the playground and have that quick word with the teacher and make contacts with other parents is invaluable.

Have you done the sums on what your take home pay will be etc?

Or are you thinking this new job will be great for future progression too?

Does your DH’s job really have no flex? Or has he engineered it that way?

I’m always wary of employers that offer no flexibility. They’re not worth it really especially when you have 3 children. I always tell myself that not all money is good money.
You’re not in a desperate situation, stay at option 1 and keep looking till something better comes along

@Crushed23 DH has a really inflexible role no option to leave early or wfh but once he is home in evening he is out at swimming, dance, football etc with kids while I am often logging back into work as I have started later in AM or picked them up at approx 4.40-4.45.

@MoominMai thanks, that wasn’t me, I did see that post too, similar situation but theirs was a longer commute for new role etc. mine is short commute 15 mins, I’m just giving up a lot of flexibility.

Sorry that is per month btw

Don’t underestimate how much wraparound care before and after school is for 3 children OP. You will no longer be eligible for tax free childcare and will have added commuting costs. I would think very carefully about changing roles.

Option 1. Grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

At this point I’d be considering long term progression. A 15 minute commute is nothing and it could be a very long time, if ever, before that kind of opportunity came along again.

@Lifeofthepartay unfortunately not flexible at present, I’d definitely go if I could even get 1 day wfh.

Ah okay! Amazing nice to see lots of female high flyers! ♥️

Option 1. If you really want option 2 though then your DH needs to look into flexibility in his role, it's not just up to you! For me the extra money wouldn't be worth the downsides.

I was initially going to say maybe take the money as wfh may not be guaranteed going forwards. However, £90k is already a fantastic salary.

@sakura06 yes wraparound is expensive but the cost will stay similar to what it is now as 3 kids in school in September. However, if I stay in current role childcare cost will go down a bit, earnings stay the same.

Career progression and job satisfaction considerations are missing from
the evaluations! Follow your gut and not every job is forever - give it a go for a year or so. The 5 day job doesn’t have to be the one for the rest of your life.

While there's no 'standard' WFH option, do you have a sense of their culture around parental leave, flexibility for sick kids, can you get holidays when you want etc?

A 15 minute commute is barely a commute at all, I'd be really tempted to go for it - as someone above just wrote, this doesn't have to be a 'forever job' and it sounds more interesting!

Flexibility and familiarity are worth a lot. I ld show the higher offer to current employers and seek a payrise.

Option 2 and negotiate a 4 day week - salary £96k so still an increase, no 60% effective tax and you get an extra day per week off.

Personally as I have two young kids under 5 I’d always choose WFH, especially at 90k. I can’t stand being in the office. My most recent job was hybrid, originally 3 days at home, 2 in office (office is an hour drive away), they changed it recently to at least 3 in the office, so I’m now looking for something else and I’m willing to drop the pay by 20k if it’s 3 or more days working from home. As others have said you’ll lose a lot in tax and travel anyway.

As I’m sure you know, that additional £30k will be taxed at 45%, so your monthly earnings will only increase by £1375 (and of course, the cost of commuting & any extra childcare will come out of that too). Will that make enough of a difference to your household finances to justify the loss of flexibility?

@DottyDandy 15 mins is the dream commute! It’s just means less flexibility and it’s invaluable to be able to collect kids even 1 day at school and it has been a great way to meet other parents.

Sick kids may be okay once in a while, holidays I’m not sure if I could get what O want, when I want, thats the thing on current role I can get whatever holidays I want.

After tax it’s about a £13k difference
(over £100k you lose your tax free allowance)

Is the stress worth £13k?