What have been your "grief" stages of being made redundant?

[Isitameproblem]

If anybody has been following, I was made redundant last week.

At first I was like "great they've made the decision for me" which is still true. About a few weeks before I came to the conclusion that they'd never invest in me, and I would never gain the experience needed for my next role. I also concluded that I thrive at much bigger companies.

Yesterday I was angry because I felt used. I basically came in, delivered what they wanted and now they're kicking me out. It would have worked a lot better if they had just given me a "consultancy/fractional" role.

Today, well the self doubt is starting to creep in. Mostly because I'm sure I did something wrong, but it's impossible to know what, so I cannot grow much more from this experience beyond knowing what I DON'T want in my next job.

AIBU to have been feeling this way?

I’ve been made redundant three times op. I have asd and likely rub people up the wrong way a bit. It’s always about the 2-3 year mark as well. Like you I went through various stages of shame, anger, denial but now I’m at acceptance. In each case I got a good payout of at least a year’s salary. So I don’t care now - just move on

Yeah, I'm getting a very decent pay out (by sheer chance!), so I'm thinking, does it really matter?? I don't urgently need the money. I can take my time I find something that really makes my heart beat.

But at the same time, I want it to be over, so they I can have a proper pity party (no getting our or bed, binging on netflix, and eating ice cream, having a G&T before 3, etc...) but I can't because I still need to work.

I also historically end up in a better position. When it happend 4 years ago, I doubled my salary. Then I got a 50% increase, then I got a title bump. So I'm hoping that this time (when I don't have the urgency that I've had), I'll get something even better!

You sound very bitter.

You're thinking about stealing the phone and the laptop - despite getting 4 months redundancy pay from an 8 month post. Buy your own bloody tech.

They got the measure of you - that's probably why you're out.

How am I planning to steal it? I might ask if I can keep it.

Yes, correct.

No, it's just a very small company (part of a bigger conglomerate of completely unrelated businesses) that never needed a head of department.

What do you mean they only gave it 5 weeks? They gave it 8 months.

And a company with fewer than 25 employees doesn't need need a head of department for 4/5 employees. Especially when we're losing clients every single week.

Eight months? On the plus side at least it wasn't eight years.

It's very difficult not to take it personally, try not to and focus on getting your CV up to date.

It is never nice to get made redundant. But given your short length of service you’ve done quite well.

I’ve only ever seen one case of people keeping a phone and that had special circumstances attached.

It is very easy to wipe and reallocate tech that is almost new so you could ask but I wouldn’t go in hard on this as the answer is probably no.

AHH that makes more sense. Yes, that's the mystery. How did they decide in 5 weeks there was no need after all?

Mind you, they never advertised the role as head of department, they offered it to me to accept the job.

The whole structure is odd, they had a head of sales with nobody under him. He left and they brought in a director of sales (who's BFF with MD) also with no one under them. We effectively have no sales team so to speak, just senior management.

Last year 3/5 days before the Christmas party they made a whole sub company redundant.

So my conclusion is... They did need to reduce the headcount, but it was much easier to get rid of me (the only one with that title) than to make someone within the wider team redundant, where there's more people with the same title and where they'd have to justify it better.

The reasons they gave me are also complete BS but that's by the by.

7 years the first time I got made redundant. The second time I had been there 6 months, but the company closed down. (I was part of a new wave of hires).

Yes, I'd obviously ask nicely. The reality is that we don't use the phones. In my 8 months I only used it twice.

I was made redundant 5 years ago (covid redundancy) and it still effects me now. I was made to feel so unwanted and my self confidence and self worth went through the floor. It was an awful feeling. I am still nowhere near as confident in my career as I was before and the company I am with now have just announced redundancies and it has brought it all flooding back. Luckily I am about 90% sure I am safe currently.

I had counselling and it is ok to have these stages, hurt, worry, anxiousness, anger etc.....

So you dont need to work for a year as financially sound, but also need to take their laptop and phone?! Doesnt add up...

The first time it happened to me (8 years ago) it was horrendous. It took me a whole year to heal.

I completely lost my sense of worth and that literally my life was over. I genuinely thought I would never get back on my feet.

It was also really hard to translate or explain what I did as a job and I was there for 7 years, do it obviously looked terrible that I couldn't explain what I had been doing with my life for so long.

I used a couple of charities, one lady was lovely (but then she got made redundant) the second one kept telling me I should just take shifts at a pub, but he also kept reminding how he was semi volunteering to help me while dangling his BMW keys Infront of me. Absolutely horrible experience.

The second time I used another charity. Weren't much help either, but they billed the LA for their services. They made me feel worse than before I contacted them (they kept going on about me being able to use zoom properly, when I had been using it for 10 years at that point!) I got a job (obviously not thanks to them) and refused to fill in the form to get the funding from the LA. The admin lady (who was lovely) agreed with me, and that was the end of that episode.

I don't need the phone and laptop. I can live with my current phone and iPad. But what have I got to lose?