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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Really need some advice on inlaws

61 replies

Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 21:22

Hi all. How would you deal with this?
My m.i.l has asked my f.i.l is there is something going on with myself & f.i.l. Of course this is completely ridiculous.

Jealous type of woman and known for saying ridiculous things. However I feel that this is just unacceptable and crossed the line this time.
OH actually laughed when he heard but then approached her and said this was toxic etc etc and not to be speaking to us.

Thought I had an okay relationship with both pils however obviously not.
Haven't seen her since and don't really intend too just not sure what to do for the best if my children ask about her. I'm embarrassed upset and actually quite hurt about this.

OP posts:
IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear · 04/05/2025 21:24

Bloody hell, has she said why she thinks her husband is shagging his son’s wife? Like what made her think that possible?

DramaQueenlady · 04/05/2025 21:25

Poor deluded woman Op! Is she going through the menopausal. Sounds mad. Id keep my distance for a goid while!

Original poster
Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 21:26

Well basically yes. I have no idea never even been alone without OH. Although quite close with mil and fil or so.i thought? AngryBlush

OP posts:
Original poster
Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 21:26

@DramaQueenlady not sure in 60s so thought over that stage?

OP posts:
MaggieBsBoat · 04/05/2025 21:26

DramaQueenlady · 04/05/2025 21:25

Poor deluded woman Op! Is she going through the menopausal. Sounds mad. Id keep my distance for a goid while!

WTAF

Kangarude · 04/05/2025 21:28

DramaQueenlady · 04/05/2025 21:25

Poor deluded woman Op! Is she going through the menopausal. Sounds mad. Id keep my distance for a goid while!

You really think this is caused by the menopause?

Carpetty · 04/05/2025 21:28

Really grim.
You have every right to be very upset.
Let your partner deal with it but I wouldn't want to bd around her until she sorts herself out.

Original poster
Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 21:29

Thanks all. I feel awful for everybody. He's 30 years my senior I just can't comprehend why she thought this. I really feel its going to have a major affect on everything now

OP posts:
IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear · 04/05/2025 21:32

I wonder if your FIL has form for cheating? In my experience this can drive you mad with paranoia about everything the cheater does and every interaction. Such a shame that whatever the reason for this paranoia it’s quite rightly damaged the relationship between the family.

Original poster
Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 21:33

@IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear absolutely 100% NOT the case. Absolutely no reason for thinking this!!!! I would maybe slightly understand if that was the case but nope......

OP posts:
DreamTheMoors · 04/05/2025 21:38

When you heard this bizarre remark, did you “pretend gag?”
Because that’s the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of having an affair with my FIL.
lol

Original poster
Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 21:39

@DreamTheMoorsmostly cringed and haven't stopped since Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 21:40

The worst bit was she was asking other family members and I just can't deal with this it's so embarrassing and I'm also so angry none of them told us that she was saying such bizarre remarks

OP posts:
Bunnyisputbackinthebox · 04/05/2025 21:41

Just tell the dc honestly dgm isn't well.

IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear · 04/05/2025 21:41

Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 21:33

@IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear absolutely 100% NOT the case. Absolutely no reason for thinking this!!!! I would maybe slightly understand if that was the case but nope......

Fair enough was wondering because it would make sense- up to a point. Still not ok for her to accuse you and him of shagging. I would definitely be keeping my distance from them for a while and it seems your husband thinks the same- thank god he’s shutting this shit down and not insisting on brushing it under the carpet for the sake of family harmony.

I’m so nosy though, I really want to know what possessed the MIL to a) think it and then b) confront either of you about it.

Original poster
Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 21:43

@IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear I'd love to know. She hasn't approached me at all I haven't seen her. I have seen fil who could not apologise enough. Feel awful for him 😞

OP posts:
IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear · 04/05/2025 21:48

Oh god, just seen she was telling other people about this suspicion of hers and not you. Fucking mortifying.

Original poster
Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 21:48

@IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear cringing off 😬

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Original poster
Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 22:16

@Bunnyisputbackinthebox thanks. May have to do this one. Do you think its acceptable to let her have them? I really don't want too look like a pushover like I've just let this go

OP posts:
Original poster
Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 22:18

Bump

OP posts:
Endofyear · 04/05/2025 23:01

Oh dear 😳 I can imagine this is upsetting for you and DH and poor FIL as well. Is she normally this bonkers or is this new behaviour? I only ask because when my dear old dad had a UTI in his 70s, it caused a lot of paranoid behaviour - he was convinced my mum had been on the phone to her 'boyfriend' and was planning to move him into the house. It was completely mad but he was sure we were all in on it, even the nurses when he was admitted to hospital. I'm just wondering if this is out of character for your MIL if there might be some medical going on, or mental health issue?

Mmhmmn · 04/05/2025 23:04

Bunnyisputbackinthebox · 04/05/2025 21:41

Just tell the dc honestly dgm isn't well.

This. You can only go by her mad behaviour.

LemonLemon25 · 04/05/2025 23:09

Oh wow. I thought bid seen it all with my ex mil but this is whole different level.

Kids just need to be told Gma is unwell and kept away.

Original poster
Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 23:23

@@Endofyear absolutely nothing medical. Always a bit unhinged but i mean holds down professional job and minds my kids often.

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Original poster
Londongal85 · 04/05/2025 23:23

@LemonLemon25 bad. Right?

OP posts: